Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Jack Awful]

The end of an era... Bam finally has his own thread so that the A&N/A&H Jackass thread stops getting bumped from years ago. Nice work following through @Cardenio


The rosters were bloated and different for every sequel, and skateboard celebrities are extremely not memorable. That being said, Bam is absolutely in the PS2 game Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3, my favorite of the series:
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Not because of Bam, but I liked the levels/secret unlocks/mechanics/progression and the secret succubus character.
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Interestingly, there's Bam-related news on a remaster of this game from 2020:

Spoiler: Article

https://thehardtimes.net/harddrive/activision-tony-hawks-pro-skater-3-remake-not-coming-until-consoles-can-render-bam-margera-in-full-detail/

Activision: ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3’ Remake Not Coming Until Consoles Can Render Bam Margera In Full Detail​

BY KEVIN FLYNN | MAY 12, 2020

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Promising that they would release a definitive version of the 2001 classic as soon as modern processors are able to catch up to their bold vision, Activision announced today that although they will soon release a modern remaster of Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1 + 2, that they will hold off on remastering Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 as well until consoles are capable of rendering skateboarder and Jackass star Bam Margera in full detail.

“We’re all excited to work with Vicarious Visions to bring this series back to life and to reunite players with all of its unforgettable stages and skaters,” said Activision CEO Bobby Kotick in a prepared statement. “Technology has grown in leaps and bounds since the original game was released in 1999, and we look forward to giving you the Tony Hawk experience like never before. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to hit the half-pipe with Bam again just yet, and for that we’re sorry. But we all want to make sure we get him right this time, so please be patient.”

“Rest assured, our whole team is hard at work to make this a reality next generation,” Kotick continued. “With the ray tracing and teraflop-computing potential of the PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X, we’ll soon be able to render the mischievous Bam Margera along with all of his tattoos and Jackass-related scars with stunning realism.”

Members of the development team behind the remasters, which include former Neversoft employees who worked on the original games, gave accounts of the difficulty they encountered while prototyping HD models of Margera.

“The models we made for all of the skaters in the game are really detailed,” said senior character designer Janette Diaz. “But none of them have as much heart, soul, or glimmers of personality behind their eyes like Bam does. We tried for months to get his devilish grin just right, but we don’t quite have the polygon count to get past the uncanny valley yet. I bet by the end of the next console generation we’ll be able to really do him justice.”

Fans online were disappointed by the news, but supported Activision’s decision.

“Really bummed they’re not releasing the whole trilogy at once, but I’m willing to wait if it means they’re gonna get Bam’s character model right,” said Reddit user u/GrindOverMatter. “When I was a kid, that blocky, polygonal version of Bam wasn’t much to look at, but with enough imagination you could really imagine becoming him and skating around getting into all sorts of trouble. If they’re going to try and recreate that experience, I want it to really blow my mind this time. So I hope they take as much time as they need. Viva la Bam!”

At press time, Activision announced that the remasters would once again feature Spider-Man as an unlockable character, which enraged fans after they discovered that the character model for Spider-Man had been completely copied over from Insomniac’s 2018 Spider-Man game.

I genuinely believe that with the love of reboots and remakes, some assholes from Hollywood are going to pay kids in Bam's son's neighborhood to start doing stunts and bullshit in order to groom him... into becoming just like Bam was as a teen, so that his kid gets a reality retard show in his teens where he bullies Bam. And it will be huge.



Take your meds, Pam.

Both the comment about Bam never being in any Tony Hawk game and every article written by the Hard Times are jokes.

 

[TV's Adam West]

This thread makes me sad and miss my youth.

Can't we all just go back to being jackasses with shopping carts again?

 

[Umaibae]

My spouse had mentioned to me last week that I should check out what was going on with Bam. I assumed it was bad, but not this cringe/pathetic.

Sibling and I used to watch a LOT of Viva la Bam back when I was in high school. I admittedly thought Bam was cute in that "idiot shithead skater dude of the early 00s" kind of way, but he was a total piece of shit.

But now? Holy hell, he looks like a 60 year old overweight grandpa and sounds like he has been smoking a pack a day for 45 years.

Don't want to bring it back to the spergy band discussion...but yeah, HIM was NOT popular in the US, even among the more knowledgeable punk/emo kid crowd. It was always, "that shitty band with the dumb logo that Bam Margera likes."

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Its "girl-metal". Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

Damn son! I'll admit I discovered HIM though Bam and found them to be okay. Thanks to him they became popular in the U.S. otherwise they would had been that underground band all the indie fans get hard on every time they play a HIM song. Their live album was their best album in my opinion. Compared to their studio albums, the band sounds like credible and talented musicians.

 

[Screamer]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Its "girl-metal". Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

The metal genres were never my thing, but they were doing some version of emo for that. Doing it before pop-punk went emo, and heavier than HIM.

 

[Billy_Sama]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Its "girl-metal". Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

Bon Jovi is more closer to metal than HIM ever could.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

I actually like Bam's movie Haggard (which is free on YouTube). I re-watched it recently, since I haven't seen it since when my friend got it on VHS when we were 12 or 13. The worst part of that movie was the Ville Valo dick-riding. Bam's character was named after him, dressed liked him, and tried to be the coolest character in the movie. Dico, Dunn, and Yohn were the best part of the movie.

Bam had the star power, but he was the least compelling character in the movie. I think he was trying to make his character the Virgil of the whole story, which just came off as being a show-off.

HIM making up the majority of the soundtrack is probably the worst part.

 

[Umaibae]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Its "girl-metal". Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

I assure you that none of the girls in my group into that music liked HIM. It was too soft, even for us. (I also really disliked MCR for the same reasons...)

 

[DancingDino]

HIM making up the majority of the soundtrack is probably the worst part.

if HIM dick riding was a sport bammy boy would be the rodeo king

 

[Old Man Mario]

The worst part of that HIM making up the majority of the soundtrack is probably the worst part.

I like HIM. The best track on the soundtrack was the Livin' La Vida Loca cover by Toy Dolls that played while Dunn was jerking off to his own ass.

I need to watch that again. Raab Himself and Bam were annoying as fuck in that but the others more than make up for them. I'd honestly recommend trying it out if you've not seen it and like the other people in Bam's old circle.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

HIM was a band for girls that wanted to be "rockers" but were too weak to handle real metal. Its "girl-metal". Any male becoming fanatical fan of such bands are 100% homosexual.

Isn't HIM an acronym for Homos In the Making?

 

[greek weirdo]

Dunno if I should feel sad about his downward spiral!I always thought he was the biggest douche of the Jackass crew.Always douchy and cocky towards everyone in front of camera!Viva La Bam was a spoof cause the guy was never really interesting by himself(imo)!The guy is obviously a liability,so good for the rest of the crew to move on without him

 

[Bassomatic]

I like HIM. The best track on the soundtrack was the Livin' La Vida Loca cover by Toy Dolls that played while Dunn was jerking off to his own ass.

I need to watch that again. Raab Himself and Bam were annoying as fuck in that but the others more than make up for them. I'd honestly recommend trying it out if you've not seen it and like the other people in Bam's old circle.

The best moments of Rabb himself were on the old CKY videos. Where he goes by AKA retarded Matt Damon, there's one skit where he tries feeding a cat some Salisbury steak while spit drool slurring SESLBURRY STEEK FOR KIKI. It's one of those bits, it's not funny but it's so dumb it beats you and you just laugh.

(This thread made me dig out CKY2k vid and while a lot of my humor has changed being not 11 anymore some of the stuff is pure gold like setting a rental car on fire because fuck an AM only radio and not having to pay because extra insure)

 

[Odnovo]

As an aside, whatever happened to Chris Raab? From what I have gathered, he was one of the few that stayed loyal to Bam during his degeneration.

 

[greek weirdo]

And for the people pointing out that Dunn's death was the final nail on Bam's coffin,well nope!He was already going downhill imo!His worship of the Finnish dick made the start!He wanted to be like Ville Vallo!When he started hanging around and noticed that the dude instead of coffee was drinking beers,was like "WOW that is soo coooool,I wanna be like that"

 

[RavioliHabit]

Jesus Christ.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

As an aside, whatever happened to Chris Raab? From what I have gathered, he was one of the few that stayed loyal to Bam during his degeneration.

I thought it was the opposite, they had a major falling out and didn't speak for years after VLB ended.

He had a podcast, but he stopped uploading around a year ago. Seems he kicked the drink and drugs too, got married and started a normal career in production and as a cameraman.

 

[greek weirdo]

Jesus Christ.

His birthstone is Crystal-meth

 

[Arocyt]

You guys think he has learned that kryptocode so he can read it "flowingly" so to say or does he have to sit and translate his own shit with a key each time he needs to go back?

That probably gets old very fast haha. Remember doing that shit in middle school.

Honestly, it doesn't even need a lot of learning. He gave up by the letter "D". From "D" on, the symbols he made up are just mostly stylized versions of the letter it's meant to represent. He mirrors letters, turns letters sideways or adds an extra stroke or two and that's it. D being "db", K is just backwards, P being mirrored Ps as well, H being diagonal with one more line through it, W just has a dumb spiral, XYZ are just long and drawn twice. Seriously, take another look at it, it's impressive how dumb it is.

He couldn't even be creative with creating a fucking cipher.
He's probably retarded enough that despite the vast majority of the letters being extremely visually similar to what they represent that he actually can't memorize it either.
He ripped off the heartagram for his brand/image so I guess it isn't surprising he'd rip off the entire fucking latin alphabet too.