Bam finds a reason not to kill himself for anotherfew days as YouTube sensation Danny Duncan (who is, as he admits in the screen capped post, a Jackass clone repackaged as a dreamy ginger zoomer) sucks his dick on Instagram.
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This is actually the smartest thing Bam could do without jackass, find influencers who are much more successful than he is and also idolize him and work with them.
Someone in Bam’s family seems to be on their deathbed and instead of privately contacting his family he posts this because I guess his mom won’t answer his calls.
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Bam gives unsolicited advice to young girls on how to keep a man.
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Bam had a bunch of posts from the other night at a punk show at a house in Echo Park but this one was most rant-filled so here ya go.
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Bam was too lazy or literally retarded to write his own book so he got someone else to do it for him.
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Bam uses an insincere post to wish fellow washed-up pro Guy Mariano a happy birthday to rant about how Johnny Knoxville sabotaged his pro skateboarding career by giving him bone spurs with thumbtacks. But he’s totally not mad guys, he even says so in the post. I also love the accidental confession by Bam that he sits around and watches reruns of his own TV show like a tweaked out Uncle Rico, reliving his glory days.
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Interesting/autistic side note/rant: Weird that Bam chose to rant on a post wishing Guy a happy birthday because Guy is an extremely controversial figure in skateboarding himself, maybe more than Bam.
Guy was a very influential figure in the first wave of street skating and as a teenager was sponsored by Blind Skateboards which had him also on a team with a pre-Mallrats Jason Lee. Guy did great things on the board but never grew out of doing drugs, partying, and living recklessly and this culminated in 2000 when he began sleeping with the wife of another troubled pro skater turned actor, Justin Pierce.
Justin was best known for playing a Casper in the movie Kids and had just finished filming a role in Ice Cube’s Friday sequel, Next Friday which would’ve launched an entirely new career in movies for himself after the fact that he had established himself as a pioneer in east coast skateboarding by being an original team member for both Zoo York and the now-billion dollar empire of Supreme Clothing.
Unfortunately for Guy, he didn’t know that Justin had severe mental illness issues and when he found out his wife was cheating on him he hung himself in a hotel room in Las Vegas a short time before the release of Next Friday, the movie that was supposed to change his life. Guy went into hiding immediately and spent years doing heroin and to this day he isn’t welcome in New York City due to the on-sight beatdown orders that have been put on his head in every counterculture scene in NYC.
And here’s Bam, wishing this skateboarding pariah a happy birthday and crying about Johnny Knoxville ruining his career.
Bam sperging about his cypher passed off as a language:
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