Brianna Wu / John Walker Flynt - "Biggest Victim of Gamergate," Failed Game Developer, Failed Congressional Candidate

[break these cuffs]

Just when I was starting to think the lulz were running out...

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So that would make Lynch like 5' 10" then I guess? An entirely normal height. One slightly above average for men in US. When you are a 6' 4" ghoul pretending to be a woman, you really shouldn't draw attention to your height. John's height puts him in the 99.999th percentile for women. His height alone makes his Mrs. Doubtfire routine an absurdity. Is this ad agency a goobergate plot to expose him? Nobody who wants him to win should draw attention to his physical features, especially not his height. John looks like a fucking goon.

 

[Mola Ram]

So that would make Lynch like 5' 10" then I guess? An entirely normal height. One slightly above average for men in US. When you are a 6' 4" ghoul pretending to be a woman, you really shouldn't draw attention to your height. John's height puts him in the 99.999th percentile for women. His height alone makes his Mrs. Doubtfire routine an absurdity. Is this ad agency a goobergate plot to expose him? Nobody who wants him to win should draw attention to his physical features, especially not his height. John looks like a fucking goon.

"Go fuck yourself!"

- Alice the Goon

 

[Peace and Harmony]

At least John's taking some lessons out of the winning playbook for a change. Remember the last time a political candidate made fun of his opponent's size?

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

Just when I was starting to think the lulz were running out...

View attachment 511999

So... Brianna posts about a targeted ad network where you can pay to send people ads to influence them in some way.
Next, Brianna talks about filming some ad.

Is she thinking of combining the two and trying to buy the election?

Did she kill Frank and eat his heart to gain his power, but all she gained was The Scream Of Fail?

So many questions....

 

[break these cuffs]

"Go fuck yourself!"

- Alice the Goon

I didn't get the reference, and I still might not, but this is what turned up when I searched for Alice the Goon. I think it is appropriate even if it isn't what you were going for.

Initially unnamed and of unspecified sex, she works as a guard for the Sea Hag, a vicious pirate and the last sorceress on Earth. Alice is portrayed as an Amazonian giantess (eight feet tall), bald, with a large nose (reminiscent of a proboscis monkey, or of Rastapopoulos from The Adventures of Tintin), no visible mouth, and extremely hairy forearms and legs.

 

[Herbert Hoover]

So... Brianna posts about a targeted ad network where you can pay to send people ads to influence them in some way.
Next, Brianna talks about filming some ad.

Is she thinking of combining the two and trying to buy the election?

Did she kill Frank and eat his heart to gain his power, but all she gained was The Scream Of Fail?

So many questions....

When Russia does it it's treason of the highest order

When Wu does it it's all shits and giggles

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Just when I was starting to think the lulz were running out...

View attachment 511999

This is one of our props of my opponent. It is life size. I am very tall. He is not.

I am obviously balding. He is not.

I look like a rabid ogre. He does not.

I am having a grand mal seizure. He is not.

I am unemployed. He is not.

I never graduated from college. He did

I no longer have testicles. He does.
_____________

This would appear to be a dangerous road for John to skitter down like the NyQuil-addled arachnid that he is.

Just for the record: Lynch is 5-foot-11. John is not "very tall." John is freakishly tall, which seems appropriate for a freak.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Did she kill Frank and eat his heart to gain his power,

Can somebody photoshop this into reality?

 

[Randy Lahey]

Christ, John is porking up.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times.

Man’s gotta eat.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Oh my god. You need to embed the full image for the absolute horror.

Spoiler: You know what this is. The consequences of clicking are on you.

If I were a floating MA voter, this photo would immediately decide me in favour of Lynch.

What the hell is going on with John's size-14 feet? Surgical scars? Varicose veins? Stigmata?

Also, good job with the belt. Shouldn't members of Congress be able to dress themselves?

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

"Tommorow". Bitch, you have got to be either taking the piss, or you have a neurological disorder.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

Never forget the moment when the trajectory of human history was seized by tripfags.

 

[Kosher Dill]

What the hell is going on with John's size-14 feet? Surgical scars? Varicose veins? Stigmata?

Your feet would get PUMPED UP too if they were supporting a nine-foot-tall goliath all day.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

lol Brett thinks this lumbering forest troll is a woman

 

[Red Sun]

It's interesting to note that the majority of American presidents have been fairly tall individuals, and the consensus seems to be that tall men are generally more respected than otherwise equal men who are shorter. However, there's a bit of a cutoff point there: Abraham Lincoln was the tallest president, and he was 6'4". There comes a point when you're just freakishly tall and people start to be intimidated by you in a bad way.

Also, it only goes for men. Girls don't ever brag about their height, it's weird. Actively trying to invoke the sort of locker-room bullying mentality that unfortunately plays a role in our male-dominated political world is a pretty fuckin' weird strategy for the feminist candidate, isn't it? It's one step away from "heh, back when I had a dick, my dick was longer than Lynch's."

 

[AprilRains]

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How do you reckon to acquire that power, Bri? Seems the voters don't care for you. What other means do you suggest?

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

What the hell is going on with John's size-14 feet? Surgical scars? Varicose veins? Stigmata?

Also, good job with the belt. Shouldn't members of Congress be able to dress themselves?

Honestly, I thought that was Mullder from X-files and John was fulfilling his life-long dream of "getting behind" him. An oversized monsterified Scully.

 

[Norvic]

That might as well be Wu's campaign slogan.
Brianna Wu: My goal is to waste your time and get attention.

 

[break these cuffs]

lol Brett thinks this lumbering forest troll is a woman

View attachment 512087

The joke that you're a hulking brute out of a Mary Shelley novel and your opponent is an average, everyday American male? It's this kind of shit that cements how truly delusion John is in my mind. Even fucking Timmay questioned if he was pretty enough to camwhore before quitting and he's retarded. He's more self aware than John despite being dim enough to get taken advantage of by the drunken lout currently holed up in Phi's bedroom.

 

[Dr. Merkwurdichliebe]

Your feet would get PUMPED UP too if they were supporting a nine-foot-tall goliath all day.

If that cutout of 5-foot-11 Lynch is accurate, I'd guess his weight at 175 pounds give or take. John has got to be well over 200.