UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Dan Abrams]

2027, the race war breaks out in Europe. The New Islamic State of Germany and Great Britain have enacted Sharia law in pockets of western Europe. It's up to this crack team of Fortnite dancers and gaping jaw soyboys to return Europe to the Europeans.

e: Thank you for changing your vote from autistic to dumb.

 

[Slimy Time]

I would really like to know who they put in charge of this nonsense. What happened to the commanders who had glowing careers, fighting in war-torn shitholes? What are they doing about this disgrace of an ad?

 

[LocalFireDept]

I'm presuming that if they're slated for combat roles, that role is "cannon fodder." Not to mention that the majority of these "snowflakes" or "binge gamers" don't actually have the qualities to make it through basic training.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I'm presuming that if they're slated for combat roles, that role is "cannon fodder." Not to mention that the majority of these "snowflakes" or "binge gamers" don't actually have the qualities to make it through basic training.

Maybe they’d be ok at flying drones?


Edit lol no

 

[Keystone]

I would really like to know who they put in charge of this nonsense. What happened to the commanders who had glowing careers, fighting in war-torn shitholes? What are they doing about this disgrace of an ad?

Venting to their NCOs and rank and file lads, telling them how this whole diversity thing is complete and utter bullshit. If you get them drunk enough they'll probably admit to fantasizing about their own day of the rope, but to be fair that's probably common in militaries the world over. No shortages of wannabe Napoleons.

I'm presuming that if they're slated for combat roles, that role is "cannon fodder." Not to mention that the majority of these "snowflakes" or "binge gamers" don't actually have the qualities to make it through basic training.

Which is why the next bit of UK military news you'll hear of is them massively lowering the standards so that anyone can get into positions they aren't cut out for at all. Sort of like they did for those 2 female US Rangers. I mean let's be honest, some female cart pusher (regardless of age or skin color) would never pass the UK's equivalent of SOI (School of Infantry) unless the standards get neutered.

Maybe they’d be ok at flying drones?
Edit lol no

If they added achievements that pop up after every missile strike then maybe.

 

[Aristophanes]

Some nightmare fuel for you all.

 

[Slimy Time]

Which is why the next bit of UK military news you'll hear of is them massively lowering the standards so that anyone can get in to positions they aren't cut out for at all. Sort of like they did for those 2 female US Rangers. I mean let's be honest, some female cart pusher (regardless of age or skin color) would never pass the UK's equivalent of SOI (School of Infantry) unless the standards get neutered.

You would think the job which involves the killing of enemy combatants and avoiding being killed would be the one job they don't lower standards. I am certain that given the way the world is now, the brilliant idea of letting women into the SAS and its other special forces branches will pave the way for a lowering of standards when enough don't make the cut and it looks bad from a political standpoint.

It's amazing isn't it, they don't want to discriminate against certain groups, but end up lowering standards to get those groups in. You would think those groups would protest being discriminated against positively, but they do nothing and let the cycle continue.

 

[Pixy]

I'm presuming that if they're slated for combat roles, that role is "cannon fodder." Not to mention that the majority of these "snowflakes" or "binge gamers" don't actually have the qualities to make it through basic training.

Even if they are 'cannon fodder', they're going to be expensive cannon fodder. The cost for training aside, the cost of all the equipment a soldier from a 1st world country has with them has steadily increased since Vietnam.

 

[Slap47]

The UK died after it abandoned Hong Kong without firing a shot.

 

[Imperialist #348]

i mean, if its for cannon fodder rolls then go right ahead guys, i also feel sorry for the guys who make the uniforms, their gonna have backlog because one was to tight or (god forbid) one made someone look like an actual soldier.

 

[UW 411]

The sausage roll is just an important part of British culture, especially from Greggs.

As for pigs in blankets are you talking about the sausages wrapped in bacon or the weird American definition?

Proper pigs in blankies, yes. Smol/cocktail sausages wrapped in bacon. I appreciate a sausage roll (greggs are pretty decent) as much as the next person, my post was mostly an exaggeration - just odd to see so much hype around an already popular staple.

 

[Troutsmacked]

British military hijabs when?

 

[Diabolic diabetic]

The UK's Incopetence never ceases to amaze me, who in their right mind thinks selfie addicts and snowflakes are fit for the military? People call them snowflakes for a reason

 

[The Gay Banana]

The UK's Incopetence never ceases to amaze me, who in their right mind thinks selfie addicts and snowflakes are fit for the military? People call them snowflakes for a reason

These ads are targeted at 17-18 year olds who will be able to be moulded into decent human beings even if they are selfie addicts or snowflakes right now. Kids are a product of their parents, take them away and teach them responsibility and they will thrive in the Army.

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

The UK's Incopetence never ceases to amaze me, who in their right mind thinks selfie addicts and snowflakes are fit for the military? People call them snowflakes for a reason

What else do you expect from a military that issued a rifle so poorly designed that H&K had to replace or tweak every single part to get it to work right?

Also, if you think this is terrible, look at what Swedistan is doing:

 

[MadDamon]

These ads are targeted at 17-18 year olds who will be able to be moulded into decent human beings even if they are selfie addicts or snowflakes right now. Kids are a product of their parents, take them away and teach them responsibility and they will thrive in the Army.

Implying they won't just drop from the troop the first week they enter because the people are mean uwu is ridiculous

 

[Diabolic diabetic]

These ads are targeted at 17-18 year olds who will be able to be moulded into decent human beings even if they are selfie addicts or snowflakes right now. Kids are a product of their parents, take them away and teach them responsibility and they will thrive in the Army.

True, responsability and discipline is want they lack, but if thats the intent of the UK military, is an interesting solution but still a rather optimistic one too.

 

[Captain Ahab]

Why would anyone want to join the army? It’s a shit job that can get you killed or severely disabled, and you’re not even paid well. I could understand that some people would want to become an army officer, but a common soldier? Fuck that.

 

[Slap47]

Why would anyone want to join the army? It’s a shit job that can get you killed or severely disabled, and you’re not even paid well. I could understand that some people would want to become an army officer, but a common soldier? Fuck that.

You don't want to be remembered as a hero who helped rebuild build Afghanistan prop up the Karzai government?

 

[ZehnBoat]

what's that? you insulted me because i'm a certain age
LOL YEAH I WILL TOTALLY DIE FOR YOU NOW!!