Can Chris swim?

[Sexual Stallone]

He shouldn't HAVE to swim. The waters should just part before him so he can walk to China.

Walk? You monster, we owe him carrying him on our shoulders while he plays DS and eats McDonald's.

 

[applecat]

Y'know, when Chris is in the water, I bet you'd see that sheen on top that you get with broths.

dirty crapped broths

 

[Picklepower]

Chris would probably wear a womens one piece, so people don't see his Buddha belly, also cuz hes a tomgirl.

 

[LordCustos3]

maybe he is scared of water. like that is why he doesn't bathe either

Yeah. Just like fellow lolcow Ulillillia; another crackpot 'spergwhistle with his own ED page.
On said ED page is a section about Ulillillia's numerous phobias....including...

Blue Water - This fear originated from Ulillillia's incessant gaming as a child. Touching blue water in most 2D platformers of his favorite video game generation meant instant death. As such, he became conditioned to believe that if he were to step in or even make physical contact with any water from a swimming pool, puddle, lake, or any sort of outdoor source of water, he would die instantly. His explanation for why other children were seemingly impervious to the blue water's deadly effects was that they had acquired a water immunity ability by some means.

 

[regularjohn]

I bet that since hes autistic, he didnt have good enough motor skills when he was young to learn how to swim as a kid, and then the family assumed that he was never meant to swim. Just like that time they tried to expect something out of him.

 

[bradsternum]

He'd have to wear a swim diaper.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Y'know, when Chris is in the water, I bet you'd see that sheen on top that you get with broths.

Also, it's possible Chris has been to pools or gone to the beach. I've been to the beach a few times and I don't know if I have pictures of my trips.

This. Also I think that at the very least Chris can dog paddle. IDK probably too much faith in him on my part.

Brother, that would be way too much work for Chris

 

[Lady Houligan]

I'm reminded of the scene in Caddyshack where they're cleaning the pool and "it's a candy bar".

Except it would be the exact opposite.

 

[Count groudon]

Well sonic the hedgehog can't swim. And Chris seems somewhat obsessed with emulating sonic soooo...

 

[Globe]

Yeah. Just like fellow lolcow Ulillillia; another crackpot 'spergwhistle with his own ED page.
On said ED page is a section about Ulillillia's numerous phobias....including...

Ulillillia's weird, but he's hardly a lolcow. Heck, even the ED page doesn't really bash him so much as it just lists his eccentricities. EDIT: As far as the OP goes, he can't even do an actual push-up, so I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't.

 

[champthom]

This is sorta spergy, but I'll allow it.

If I had to make an educated guess, there's a good chance that knowing how to swim was required learning in school. Personally, when I was in 10th grade, we had to do a swim test and if you failed, you had to take a swimming class instead of gym. I wouldn't be surprised if the same was true for Chris, if he didn't know how to swim already, he probably learned so in school.

Can he still swim? I'd probably agree with what was said that Chris could probably doggy paddle.

 

[The Dude]

This is sorta spergy, but I'll allow it.

If I had to make an educated guess, there's a good chance that knowing how to swim was required learning in school. Personally, when I was in 10th grade, we had to do a swim test and if you failed, you had to take a swimming class instead of gym. I wouldn't be surprised if the same was true for Chris, if he didn't know how to swim already, he probably learned so in school.

Can he still swim? I'd probably agree with what was said that Chris could probably doggy paddle.

That's not the way it is in Utah. We offer swim classes at schools with pools, but it's not required. I don't know how to swim, but I was the teacher's aide for swim class. Basically I played on the computer in the swim coach's office and bullshit with my friends in the class.

As far as Chris knowing how to swim, all he knows how to do is the "duck stroke". *rim shot*

 

[Sakamoto]

I know some schools have swimming, but many don't (maintaining a pool is expensive, and it would probably also need to be heated as school is out during the summer). Even if Manchester had a pool, Chris seems to have played the autism card to get out of P.E., being the water boy for the basketball team seems to be the closest he got to having to engage in any sport/exercise.

 

[Pikonic]

Short answer: Probably not
Long answer: I taught swim lessons down at the community pool for years. Chris probably wouldn't be let into the normal swim classes, for safety issues (it poses a risk of drowning if they need extra attention you can't give due to the other kids). Where I worked we offered specialized swim classes which was for all "special needs" (it's an old term I know, but that's what we said) children and adults which included one on one sessions with autistics. This poses two problems with the chandlers.
1) these specialized classes are more expensive. Money two retirees wouldn't want to spend because...
2) Chris did just fine mainstream and doesn't need the loonies class.

Bob and Barb were probably too old to want to teach Chris themselves. Once they were told Chris would need special swim classes (if they ever tried to get him to swim), they would have been insulted and dropped the subject. It's a shame really, I've worked with autistics that find swimming relaxing, almost therapeutic. Had Chris enjoyed swimming he'd probably be reasonably fit and happier.

 

[Furina]

Every time we've seen Chris interact with water he's never been deeper than his waist (like in the water maze dream). I imagine he can doggy paddle and would probably be alright if he fell off a bridge or something, assuming he didn't panic. I've heard of people drowning in a foot of water because they panicked.
I also doubt Barb or Bob would trust Chris to not kill himself when placed in water and Chris would see swimming as way too much of a physical exertion to be worth it. He probably floats around in the wading pool (if he hasn't been banned from that too by now). I doubt the local council appreciates Chris's reenactment of the BP oil spill in their public pool.

 

[Some JERK]

i don't know, but i'll tell you this... If Chris can swim it's probably been a while. Like, maybe between 50-70 lbs ago? Muscle memory can only do so much.

 

[José Mourinho]

Nah, I don't think Chris can swim.

 

[CatParty]

he probably gave up on swimming as soon as water was above his head and he realized he couldn't breathe in water like cartoons do. then he figured "swim bad" and stayed in the kiddie wading pool (which he sperged about)

 

[QI 541]

Wouldn't surprise me if Chris learned to hate swimming because Sonic can't swim.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

His high-school assignment to describe a week with him claims that he liked "going swimming" at the YMCA. It doesn't detail whether that meant "actually swimming" or "splashing around like a wet cat" or what.