Can Chris swim?

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If he can, I wouldn't think he actually has in years. And if he were to want to start again now, the Y would probably deny him entry for not being clean enough upon entering the pool - if he did bother to follow the rules and shower, you can bet he'd do a half-assed job of it and not actually get any filth washed off of him.
 
Doesn't fat float? Considering how he's mostly blubber and zero dense muscle mass, he could probably get by flailing around half-assedly. But Chris is so stupid he'd probably find a way to drown regardless.
 
Shadow Fox said:
If he can, I wouldn't think he actually has in years. And if he were to want to start again now, the Y would probably deny him entry for not being clean enough upon entering the pool - if he did bother to follow the rules and shower, you can bet he'd do a half-assed job of it and not actually get any filth washed off of him.
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I also forgot to mention in my pool-worker days if we found feces in the pool we had to close down for 8 hours (pretty much the whole day). So :briefs: would pose as a problem too.
 
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
 
Chandler Cats said:
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
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I've always wondered why Chris has an aversion to removing his socks.
 
The Dude said:
Chandler Cats said:
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
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I've always wondered why Chris has an aversion to removing his socks.
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Would you want to walk around the Chandler house in bare feet?
 
This is kinda like Chris's trip to Ohio, where you can't quite tell whether Bob 'n' Barb were right or wrong to clamp down on his traveling.

On one hand, Chris's parents are lazy and prefer dealing in absolute yes's and no's than "be carefuls." On the other hand, the chances of Chris getting into serious trouble at any swimming area (disciplinary trouble or drowning) were/are rather high.

Call it a draw and say they were right, but for wrong reasons.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
The Dude said:
Chandler Cats said:
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
Click to expand...

I've always wondered why Chris has an aversion to removing his socks.
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Would you want to walk around the Chandler house in bare feet?
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Couldn't be much less healthy than breathing the Chandler house's stale, cat shit-scented air or eating food prepared in whatever passes for its kitchen.
 
DrChristianTroy said:
Would you want to walk around the Chandler house in bare feet?
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I dunno, what gives a better grip on poop-slicked floors?
 
DrChristianTroy said:
The Dude said:
Chandler Cats said:
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
Click to expand...

I've always wondered why Chris has an aversion to removing his socks.
Click to expand...
Would you want to walk around the Chandler house in bare feet?
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Good point Doc.
 
I doubt he'd know how to swim, too much effort, and even if he ever went to the beach I think he'd be too busy ogling the women in swimsuits to actually try and swim. And then he'd do something that would get himself banned from the beach.

Though I would like to see him go on a diving board and do a belly flop...
 
Chandler Cats said:
Swimming would -- in theory, and I know we're talking about Chris here -- involve removing one's socks.
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I just realised that. I've never seen Chris without his socks. Even during his One Night in Julay he kept them on. I'm trying to bring suppressed memories of Chris naked back into the forefront of my mind and I'm not remembering a single time he's been sockless. He's been butt-naked before but still wore his socks, which is one of the biggest turn-offs ever by the way.

Could it be another manifestation of sensory defensiveness like the wrist guard thing he attached to his Sonichu Medallion chain? He doesn't like the sensation of anything against the soles of his feet, so he wears socks as a barrier.

I've also noticed he's never worn shorts. I don;t know what the weather is like in Virginia but surely they get some pretty warm summer days. Chris has to go out occasionally during those dog days and he'd be pretty uncomfortable in his usual denim trousers. I guess his skirts sort of work, but what about before the Tomgirl saga?

But I digress....
 
Furina said:
I've also noticed he's never worn shorts. I don;t know what the weather is like in Virginia but surely they get some pretty warm summer days. Chris has to go out occasionally during those dog days and he'd be pretty uncomfortable in his usual denim trousers. I guess his skirts sort of work, but what about before the Tomgirl saga?
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I think that might not be a huge issue if you drive everywhere.
 
Marvin said:
Furina said:
I've also noticed he's never worn shorts. I don;t know what the weather is like in Virginia but surely they get some pretty warm summer days. Chris has to go out occasionally during those dog days and he'd be pretty uncomfortable in his usual denim trousers. I guess his skirts sort of work, but what about before the Tomgirl saga?
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I think that might not be a huge issue if you drive everywhere.
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That's true but surely he's got to feel uncomfortable sitting in his little den when it's in the upper 30s (C not F) outside. I can barely stand to wear more than shorts and a shirt when it gets hot and I'm sure I have less... insulation, than Chris. I hope that doesn't sound A-Loggy.
 
Furina said:
Marvin said:
Furina said:
I've also noticed he's never worn shorts. I don;t know what the weather is like in Virginia but surely they get some pretty warm summer days. Chris has to go out occasionally during those dog days and he'd be pretty uncomfortable in his usual denim trousers. I guess his skirts sort of work, but what about before the Tomgirl saga?
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I think that might not be a huge issue if you drive everywhere.
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That's true but surely he's got to feel uncomfortable sitting in his little den when it's in the upper 30s (C not F) outside. I can barely stand to wear more than shorts and a shirt when it gets hot and I'm sure I have less... insulation, than Chris. I hope that doesn't sound A-Loggy.
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What, in his house? Because I wear sweatpants all year around the house. It's only when I have to go places do I get dressed and wear shorts, because I can't drive. If I was getting a ride, it wouldn't be necessary to wear shorts, depending on where I was going.

Plus, we haven't seen the majority of Chris time. He probably does wear shorts.
 
CatParty said:
he's pretty much drowning in the sea of life
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That would mean he actually HAS a life...he doesn't.
 
The Dude said:
CatParty said:
he's pretty much drowning in the sea of life
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That would mean he actually HAS a life...he doesn't.
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Excuuuuse me, he has his Life Upgrade and is experiencing life as his own Free Bitch.
 
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