Can We All Just Admit "Van Helsing" (2004) Is a Work Of True Genius?

I'm Retarded? said:
it's funny to see this line invoked against this early 2000s slop like that shit was made in some politics-free golden era. the whole reason Kate Beckinsale is one of the lead characters is because that was the Girls Can Do It Too era of film. action movies during this time loved doing the thing where the main character is a sublime girlboss with physical abilities easily surpassing any of her male peers except for That One Guy who is allowed to be (almost) her equal because he's Mister Right. but first he has to prove he's not some Macho Male Oppressor who thinks she can't do insane action movie shit and kill a whole room full of bad guys just because she's a girl.
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Anna Valerious only kills two people in the movie, you autist incel.
 
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I'm Retarded? said:
I'm not speaking literally, dork. the whole first two minutes of this scene is exactly the shit I'm talking about.
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In this scene, Anna is about to put herself in a dangerous situation she is in no way trained or equipped to handle, so Van Helsing knocks her out.

This is apparently too woke and girlboss for you.
 
The Nothingness said:
The movie's worldbuilding, where there is a secret organization fighting monsters and the implication that Van Helsing is the archangel Gabriel, was intriguing and could have been explored more in a sequel.
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iirc it was two or three movies that got compressed into one during the script phase as it became increasingly likely it wasn't going to become a franchise

also I dug that frank's look
 
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this is the last movie i watched at a drive-in, parked way in the back getting drunk as fuck with my fren and a couple chicks

i dont remember anything about it except kate beckinsale looked fine as hell and huge jackedman was nowhere near as good delivering van helsing quips as he was delivering wolverine quips
 
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This and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen are underrated IMO. Not high cinema by any means but fun, interesting movies with cool aesthetics (Nemo’s ship and automobile are fucking works of art). Plus I think Alan Moore is a bit of a hack, so I’d rather not see a 1:1 adaptation of LoEG on the big screen, I have no interest in watching Hyde buttrape the Invisible Man…
 
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My friends and I streamed this movie recently, and we had more fun watching this than we had watching the last decade of tired, vapid capeshit. There was a very clear and endearing level of fanboyish love for the classic Universal Monster Movies behind the camera, and the director operates with the same "rule of cool" mindset as The Mummy when staging all of the visuals in this film; people are constantly transforming, sequences like the Wolfman vs Dracula-In-Bat-Form fight...it all has the same "Wouldn't It Be Cool?" logic as Imhotep projecting his face through a dust storm or the Pharoah's Bodyguards fighting an army of Anubis Jackals in The Mummy Returns. So much of this film was storyboarded and visualized with sublime concept art (not to mention superb werewolf designs), and realized with a surprising number of practical sets and neat props for stuff like Van Helsing's weapons. And the humor between the villains (particularly the camp factor with Dracula, Igor, etc) had us on the floor laughing. That bit where Dracula talks about Van Helsing's heartbeat had us in stitches...the actor chews scenery like a pro.

The Brides in this movie were hot (in human form, at least). Especially the redhead one...what a cutie.
 
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I rolled my eyes and ignored this when it came out but caught it on video years later and was blown away by how good it is. Funny movie, lots of heart but probably about 20 minutes longer than it needed to be.
 
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Ahriman said:
Indeed, they tried to spin up a whole "classic monsters" universe rebooting Wolfman, for instance.


Granted, it didn't pan out like (((they))) wanted to, but it's a "very okay" movie if you don't take it too seriously.
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After the Dark Universe failed to launch and the latest Invisible Man had success on its own, Universal looks to be going at the stand-alone route with this reimaging of Dracula's Daughter. The trailer not only spoils what the titular character is but revealing which "classic monster" movie it's based of likely gives away the final twist 🤦‍♂️

 
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The Nothingness said:
After the Dark Universe failed to launch and the latest Invisible Man had success on its own, Universal looks to be going at the stand-alone route with this reimaging of Dracula's Daughter. The trailer not only spoils what the titular character is but revealing which "classic monster" movie it's based of likely gives away the final twist 🤦‍♂️
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Agreed, but I'mma watch the hell out of that shit anyway.
 
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