Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[The Fool]

This is like the fifth time I've seen this commented today. I edited the damn thing and I have no idea what's happening. Sorbet isn't dead yet in the story, and nowhere does Chris talk about a cat dying. Help?

Chris literally rapes and murders his cats in prison.

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

Plus, that all came crashing ahead to his graduation. If Chris would've composed himself, Bob would not have felt ashamed of him.

I love how Graduon is a villain for being a manifestation of his graduation. Keep in mind, all the graduation is, is a reflection of his own abilities and effort. To him, it is an antagonist because it is a reflection of reality; the one enemy Christian has been in constant retreat from, since childhood. Ytilaer is the one antagonist not even Sonichu and Rosechu have dared to mention.

 

[SpacePirat]

Sorry Geno, this is a personal story. I first properly knew about chris chan when he ebegged for money for a cat's vet bills, and I think it was Sorbet. I did it because my cat, Tiger, had recently died of cancer. Then from looking at Chris's spending, there was a 95% chance he spent what I, and others donated, on toys and junk. So when I hear Sorbet come up, I often feel sadness for that cat, and fucking fury to the neglect that led to its death. I might have misheard, but I thought from this episode they said that Sorbet was found trapped in the room with the thermo, and I assumed it had been found there dead. Might have been me jumping the gun though, as I had your show on in the background whilst I was trying to speedrun Code Veronica... I'm down to 7 days and 9 hours.

Idea guys saga is on the horizon. Excited to see this thread's collective opinion on modern Chris go from narcissist asshole to poor, poor autist.

 

[AmazingEagle]

Thoughts on this one: episode 53.

I felt first of all it showed an interesting preview into the potential homeless saga. Christian's refusal to accept that Trump was president was a great capsule for his unwillingness to acknowledge reality. The man could be neck deep in water in a flooding room, and say 'if it's flooding, then how come I can still breathe?;. When the homeless saga hits, he will do everything in his limited power to refuse adulting, and likely take his tried and tested (however unreliable) tactics of:

1) This is transphobic. Social media will bail me out.
2) This is stressful. I am autistic. Sighhhhh. Someone else will bail me out.
3) Send 100,000 dollars of donations, please. I need money. I'll do the comics, maybe....
4) Curl up in a ball and hope the bailiffs / cops / repo men get bored.

Next I thought that the whole line about not needing to wait for it to be christmas / his birthday to send him gifts never fails to impress me with how selfish he is. Seriously, I can start to understand why he thinks he's God, because like that Twilight Zone episode 'It's a Good Life', his parents never ever told Christian the word 'No'. If they did, it was Bob, and he would run to Barb who would undercut the decision. If it was Barb who said no, it was through traumatic emotional blackmail like threatening to kill herself. I don't kid myself that death is a pleasant thing in anything but the most extreme cases (painful crippling disabilities vs euthenasia), but honestly, Bob dying strikes me as an unusual mercy.

Hearing Sorbet's death, and how Chris so nonchalantly mentions it in passing just infuriates me. Keyboard warrior time... I want to punch him. Animal cruelty's a big sticking point for me. Anyway, internet keyboard warrior time over. Sorry for fagging out.

I loved how he gets his 3D printed figure and it looks crap. The actual skylander avatar christian made wasn't exactly thin, but it wasn't big chungus either. Then we get the genuine product, and due to the limits of 3D moulding, mass production, painting, etc... it looks like exactly like Chris instead of his avater: dumpy as fuck with whopper goggles on. The way Sonichu comments about the glasses/goggles and Amy defends it is Chris' own subconscious manifestation surfacing: he's disappointed, which is why he shows it from a distance, and Sonichu and Rosechu take the foreground.

Love is Love made me lol. Seeing this poor bastard get pinkeye from being within 5 yards of Chris goes to show there's deadlier things than Covid out there.

View attachment 2014647

When Chris does the ebegging with the sore throat it sounds more convincing than his regular high pitched feminine voice. Then he goes to the park and complains about the smell... which was probably fresh air, something anathema to his nose. He goes through nostalgia, by visiting the park, and seeing it cold, empty, and silent made me wonder if it was an artistic statement beyond Christian's awareness.

Then finally we get to the end of the episode, and the piano geno plays at the end.... holy fuck, this hits hard:

Needs money for bills.... sells his dad's stamps... buys transformers.

To any weens, white knights, or people trying to get close to christian, this is what you're going up against. Chris is, has, and always will be a person who finds empathy an alien concept. To him, life is nothing more than the path of least resistance to obtain more shiny things. He will throw you aside the moment you deprive him of this objective. He is no different than a junkie, albeit it one whose fix is lego and autobots.

That photo of Chris at a University of Virginia protest makes him look like an art teacher who has recently divorced her husband.

 

[Philosophy Phil]

@Philosophy Phil How much do you regret sending Chris that penny?

Pretty upset, I'm paying real estate taxes instead of flying on cartoon dragons. I should ask for a refund.

@Philosophy Phil you donated the penny? I thought Hirtes did that.

Cats out of the bag I guess. Yes. I donated a penny to Chris, this was back before I learned how to be a good Kiwi.

 

[troon patrol]

I hope Chris still watches this series, the most interesting thing that could happen lately is Chris forcibly acknowledging the dimensional merge concept came from the same people who exploited him for money and abused him.

 

[The Fool]

I hope Chris still watches this series, the most interesting thing that could happen lately is Chris forcibly acknowledging the dimensional merge concept came from the same people who exploited him for money and abused him.

Oh he knows. But he thinks the Merge communicated through them. Even if they had bad intentions, they were still receiving divine messages. There is no way to unfuck his mind anymore.

 

[AmazingEagle]

Oh he knows. But he thinks the Merge communicated through them. Even if they had bad intentions, they were still receiving divine messages. There is no way to unfuck his mind anymore.

Speaking about the Dimensional Merge, even if it did happen the "hot girls" in the Sonichu comics and in other cartoons like Sailor Moon would probably look at Chris and run to the nearest airport just to get away from him.

 

[Mr. 0]

This is like the fifth time I've seen this commented today. I edited the damn thing and I have no idea what's happening. Sorbet isn't dead yet in the story, and nowhere does Chris talk about a cat dying. Help?

chris ran over a snake, and then backed his car up to make sure he got it, then he had a neighbor kid's cat picked up by animal control for scratching him when he tried to steal it outside

then he and barb tried to steal a neighbor's dog but they were tracked down at their house and made to give it back

then chris blamed the neighbor kid for digging in his trash and stealing his high school papers to cheat off of and believes the kid brought the snake back to life and set it loose in 14 branchland ct

chris then scammed his fans for cat medicine money (it was either sorbet or pollo, one of them got run over and was injured or stuck in a gutter or something) but he already had the stuff (or cheaped out and pocketed the difference) and spent the money on toys

chris also stole a cat from a litter outside of his house while the mother was away, and he also killed one of his cats with the house fire

he also beats his dogs whenever they start baying, and buries his dog inside barb when she threatens suicide

 

[AmazingEagle]

chris ran over a snake, and then backed his car up to make sure he got it, then he had a neighbor kid's cat picked up by animal control for scratching him when he tried to steal it outside

then he and barb tried to steal a neighbor's dog but they were tracked down at their house and made to give it back

then chris blamed the neighbor kid for digging in his trash and stealing his high school papers to cheat off of and believes the kid brought the snake back to life and set it loose in 14 branchland ct

chris then scammed his fans for cat medicine money (it was either sorbet or pollo, one of them got run over and was injured or stuck in a gutter or something) but he already had the stuff (or cheaped out and pocketed the difference) and spent the money on toys

chris also stole a cat from a litter outside of his house while the mother was away, and he also killed one of his cats with the house fire

he also beats his dogs whenever they start baying, and buries his dog inside barb when she threatens suicide

This proves that Chris and Barbara Chandlers are assholes.

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

Excited to see this thread's collective opinion on modern Chris go from narcissist asshole to poor, poor autist.

Why not both?

 

[Argh My Cigar]

This proves that Chris and Barbara Chandlers are assholes.

From the CWCki:
“ Chris, while he may not exactly be a likable person, isn't guilty of "crimes" that must be punished with violence or abuse”

I’m pretty fucking sure animal abuse and neglect are crimes well worth those punishments.

 

[AmazingEagle]

From the CWCki:
“ Chris, while he may not exactly be a likable person, isn't guilty of "crimes" that must be punished with violence or abuse”

I’m pretty fucking sure animal abuse and neglect are crimes well worth those punishments.

And attempted murder on Michael Synder and assault on that GameStop employee.

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

chris ran over a snake, and then backed his car up to make sure he got it,

Seriously?! Chris killed a snake that was probably minding its business? Is there a reason why he did it? Is it on the Cwcki or did Chris not explain why he HAD to run over the snake?

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Seriously?! Chris killed a snake that was probably minding its business? Is there a reason why he did it? Is it on the Cwcki or did Chris not explain why he HAD to run over the snake?

Chris probably considers snakes to be like insects in the sense that they crawl around on the ground, so to him they're "pests" that he can freely and inconsequentially squash at his convenience.

 

[troon patrol]

And attempted murder on Michael Synder and assault on that GameStop employee.

You guys are forgetting the time he tried to rape "kacey" and all the Megan unwanted advances.

 

[AmazingEagle]

You guys are forgetting the time he tried to rape "kacey" and all the Megan unwanted advances.

Oh, I haven't forgotten that one bit, and there's the time where he screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOO loudly in a crowded mall because a girl pranked him into believing that she liked him.

 

[Mr. 0]

You guys are forgetting the time he tried to rape "kacey" and all the Megan unwanted advances.

he also drove ryan cash and ivy o'neil to suicide, ran over sarah jackson while driving a semi pretending to be optmus prime and anally raped sonichu

Seriously?! Chris killed a snake that was probably minding its business? Is there a reason why he did it? Is it on the Cwcki or did Chris not explain why he HAD to run over the snake?

it ain't on the cwcki proper buuuut:

User:James Lamp-Eye/Collection - CWCki

sonichu.com

I included this whole section because it's that fucking crazy. Scroll down until you see bolding and italics. Keep in mind this was back in 2009 (there's a reference to it in one of mailbags by Sean August Watley himself.

"Whenever anything political comes up he just starts stuttering, stress sighing, and going 'Mm..' and in this case, it'll be followed by "'well er uh I don't know um well I heard some bad news about um them but I guess I'm neutral.'"

"Chris said if age wasn't a legal issue, he would date a girl as young as 16. Possibly 14 . . ."

". . . if she had a lower income then it would make things harder for him."

"I think it may have been mentioned before that Chris steals money from his parents and they just don't give a shit. They haven't disciplined him for 27 years, so why start now?

"Well, it has come to our attention that back when the Rock Band(or possibly Guitar Hero, but who cares) AC/DC game came out Chris bought it, used the code in the case to get all the songs, then returned the game to get his money back. When confronted that's considered stealing, his excuse was basically that they shouldn't have the code if they didn't want people to do that. This all being followed by his stress sigh.

"So basically, if you have to register that code then whoever happened to buy the game after Chris couldn't use the code. That stupid son of a bitch. I wonder how many other games Chris has done this with. He probably thinks he's clever for it."

"Surprisingly enough, Chris is very deceptive. Or at least, he tries to be. He hides and steals things like he's a little kid and since he's retarded nobody has bothered to punish him for it. Thus, he continues to do it, because he thinks he's clever. Unfortunately to keep Chris' trust and get him to tell me more things, despite them making me rage, I just keep my mouth shut and let Chris, once again, get away with his bullshit."

"So the other day Chris was saying the highlight of his day was running over a snake. Now mind you, he ACTIVELY tried running the snake over. He missed the first time. He missed the second time. Hell, he miss the third time. He finally locked 'old blue' on that snake and hit his target in triumph. When questioned what kind of snake it was he responded that he didn't know but it was poisonous. Now, where Chris was at at the time, there are no poisonous snakes in that area. So in reality it was most likely a black snake or a garter snake.

"He was PROUD of running over that snake."

"In middle school kids would make fun of Chris for liking Sonic and yell at Chris, 'SONIC IS DEAD!' Of course, Chris being Chris, would get upset and yell back, 'NO HE'S NOT!' Lulz would ensue.

"In high school, kids would throw their loose change on the ground and when Chris went to pick it up they would point and laugh saying, 'He's so poor he's picking up our loose change!' Except I imagine them dropping their change right in front of Chris

"BONUS : Despite not liking the homos, he thinks people who use 'gay' in replacement of 'stupid' or 'retarded' is stupid. When asked what he thought of people who use 'nigger' he thought about it for a few seconds then said it was not as 'bothersome.'"

• "He probably harbors a special resentment for that usage of "gay," because it was labeled against him as a child. The term "Nigger" is likely not as bothersome to Chris because he was never called that name, in school. Chris has precious little empathy for the problems of others. Unless its something that directly impacts his little life, he cannot be bothered to care. Although, I admit this also gives more evidence of his racism." --Enerjakop

"I do think Chris has an Oedipus Complex. Some of you may remember me speaking of seeing Chris and his parents at McDonalds last year around October/November. He sat next to his mother and when Bob went to go get a refill on his coffee, Chris started coddling up to his mother. He had his arms wrapped around her shoulders, his head on her shoulder. What I could make out from them muttering his the Snorlax saying something about how Chris shouldn't keep secrets from her. At 26(at the time) years old, that's not normal behavior for someone to act towards a parent. It could be because of his autism for his attachment to his mother(I'm not psychologist, so I'm not sure of the ins and outs of autism).

"Which brings me to a second thing I noticed. Just like Chris waited for Bob to leave to coddle up to his mother, Chris also waited for Bob to leave during our date to start touching me more. When Bob went to go get food, Chris started putting his hand on my shoulder more. When Bob came back, he kept his hands to himself more. When Chris and I started walking around, Chris kept attempting to walk closer to me and started to say more perverted things. It seems like Chris is intimidated by Bob and ashamed of acting out in a certain way in front of his father as opposed to his mother. This also just proves that Chris does know from right to wrong. Chris knew he should keep his hands to himself in front of Bob."

 

[Alpha Kennybody]

Idea guys saga is on the horizon. Excited to see this thread's collective opinion on modern Chris go from narcissist asshole to poor, poor autist.

I'm in a state of cognitive dissonance.

Yay, fuck chris. Mock him.
Oh they're stealing money! That's too far!
But I was fine with mental torture.... O_o

Maybe Geno will shed some light onto if Null was right to step in and stop the horror show. Chris is an unusual character in that at times I feel profound sympathy for him. Other times I hate the dude.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

I'm in a state of cognitive dissonance.

Yay, fuck chris. Mock him.
Oh they're stealing money! That's too far!
But I was fine with mental torture.... O_o

Maybe Geno will shed some light onto if Null was right to step in and stop the horror show. Chris is an unusual character in that at times I feel profound sympathy for him. Other times I hate the dude.

The Idea Guys saga was stopped by The Captain, working with Marvin. Null was brought on board later on and helped with trying to get justice for Chris.

The Idea Guys took things to an extreme with their mental torture. Like in https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Cryzel_Torture, where they had Chris believing they were beating up his wife. And their angle of threatening to destroy CWCville if he didn't pay up with real-world money.