Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Alpha Kennybody]

I believe it was purely a generational thing with Bob. Barb was older when she had Chris, but she certainly wasn't senior citizen discount at Golden Corral elderly like Bob was. I think deep down she always secretly desired the current dynamic between herself and Chris. All the coddling and shitty parenting on her part was either deliberate or subconsciously motivated by a desire to have a dysfunctional adult child who could not abandon her like the rest of her family, regardless of how awful she is to them or how badly the child (Chris in this case) may have desired some independence during his youth. Bob just went along with it because, as you said, he genuinely had antiquated ideas about what it means to get someone "the help they need" when it comes to something like autism and didn't really think there were good alternatives. Plus the guy was ancient, had already lived enough of life for two people at least, and was just too fucking tired and worn out to really put up any resistance.

I can almost see Barb like some survivalist who makes an impenetrable bunker to survive the nuclear holocaust. One day the bombs drop, but she's cosy in her nest... sadly the bombs smash the door and cave it in with rubble, trapping her inside. Over time, humanity rebuilds, and makes a star trek utopia... but Barb can only peer through the grimy window, still trapped in her bunker. That bunker is Christian, who she milked for money, emotionally blackmailed, and used as a weapon to gang up on Bob in a 2 vs 1 dynamic. Well now Bob's dead, she's crippled, and her sacred cash cow is a retarded tranny that can handle debt as well as she can, whilst spray painting sneakers on the carpet, and crashing the car every six months.

I've maintained it for a while, and I still am of the opinion that Bob was the lucky one dying as he did. It's a shame it wasn't peacefully in his sleep in a cosy bed, and not being gnawed by bed bugs whilst surrounded by faceless medical employees, but at least he was free of Chris and Barb.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Barb and Bob were definitely of the generation that did not differentiate between retardation and conditions like autism.

When they were coming up, people dealt with it by either keeping them at home with no expectations of independence or have them locked in an institution as the family dirty secret (hence Bob’s obsession with Chris being put in one.)

Autism didn't get any real mainstream attention, let alone backwoods Virginia attention, until the early to mid 90s when Bob was in his late 60s and Barb in her early 50s. They could not have been a worse group of people to raise a special needs kid. You can't relearn how to raise a child as a father at age 67

 

[StarDreamer2002]

Wouldn't it be great if Chris's life became its very own big budget cinematic universe?

Autistic (USA, 2021)

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I think deep down she always secretly desired the current dynamic between herself and Chris. All the coddling and shitty parenting on her part was either deliberate or subconsciously motivated by a desire to have a dysfunctional adult child who could not abandon her like the rest of her family, regardless of how awful she is to them or how badly the child (Chris in this case) may have desired some independence during his youth.

Do we know if Barb ever tried to play the tardcard with Chris when she was out and about being her usual cunt self? Or maybe Chris never realized what was happening.

I do think you hit the nail on the head with Barb vs Chris. Bob was too old to leave her without help, and she knew he was going to die before her. Honestly, she couldn't have made a better man from the ground-up than with Chris. A golden tard with money coming in, easily manipulated, easily mended when she flies off the handle, and gives her more love than any other human being on the planet ever did.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Honestly, she couldn't have made a better man from the ground-up than with Chris. A golden tard with money coming in, easily manipulated, easily mended when she flies off the handle, and gives her more love than any other human being on the planet ever did.

Kind of ironic, Barb living out Chris' dream. He'd be the stay at home husband that he always wanted.

 

[Pappy Striderite]

Even back then during Jackie saga, when she told him to cosplay as Sonic, he outright told that he doesn't have any powers.

you mean the blue body paint video?

listen to the way chris says he has no power. it sounded like the most rehearsed and simultaneously the most -defeated- thing he ever fucking recorded.

he must have got caught doing it.
maybe he asked barb to paint his sideboobs and bob walked in.

it was all in the tone of, "OMG bob demanded to see the finished video!" granted, i got nothing to back it up but hours of smelling when chris is seeking bob's approval. just try watching it from my perspective.

there's none of the childish joy you'd expect from chris just cosplaying his hero. he was stiff as a board as if he'd already shit himself and was waiting on a 3rd course of eggdrop soup.

when i imagine what chris must have sounded like at the counselor after he curse-ye-hamehaa'd walsch, this shit is my reference.

plus, if the video was for Jackie only, and not watched by anyone else, he wouldn't have wasted time explaining cosplay, his powerlessness, he wouldn't even bother saying, "this would be my alternate form if i had one", right? he'd just jump right in hamming it up and trying to be sexy/manly.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I always wondered if Barb had a “World According to Garp” outlook on her relationship with Bob. She flops around on his cock until he ejaculates and dies and impregnates her with Chris. But in her scenario continuation she gets his pension and his house and lives with her spawn in a parasitic symbiotic relationship till the end of time.

 

[Bluey]

I couldn't watch it all. Seeing Sorbet in pain really hurts a lot.

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

I couldn't watch it all. Seeing Sorbet in pain really hurts a lot.

I know. But something kind of hit me while watching. You know it's mentioned that Sorbet was locked in Chris's old bedroom at one time and wasn't found for a few days. So this is a big what if, but what if Sorbet was found in the room dead? you know he ran up to the room to pass away in peace and Chris found him there and Chris just said that Sorbet ran away to avoid people hounding him?

 

[The American Hedgehog]

I know. But something kind of hit me while watching. You know it's mentioned that Sorbet was locked in Chris's old bedroom at one time and wasn't found for a few days.So this is a big what if, but what if Sorbet was found in the room dead? you know he ran up to the room to pass away in peace and Chris found him there and Chris just said that Sorbet ran away to avoid people hounding him?

Sorbet was stuck in the room overnight and appeared during livestreams afterwards.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

it's mentioned that Sorbet was locked in Chris's old bedroom at one time and wasn't found for a few days.

Man, rate me mad on the internet, but you'd have to be a special type of stupid to abandon your cat in your old room. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, Chris and Barb are too lazy to clean up the hoard.

 

[cwcvillemayoress]

Sorbet was stuck in the room overnight and appeared during livestreams afterwards.

I meant what if Sorbet after he was run over by the car had went into Chris's old bedroom and died there. Chris might've found Sorbet there after he said that Sorbet had run away.
Sorry if my phrasing was off. I was thinking that Sorbet might've gotten into the room again, Chris and Barb didn't notice and assumed that he got out and ran away but Chris ended up finding poor Sorbet in the room and pulled the Magi-Chan says that Sorbet died crap.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Man, rate me mad on the internet, but you'd have to be a special type of stupid to abandon your cat in your old room. Unfortunately, and not surprisingly, Chris and Barb are too lazy to clean up the hoard.

It happens. Cats are sneaky and can dart into places unobserved. Not anyone's fault it happened.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

What if Sorbet tried to commit suicide by running in front of that car?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

It happens. Cats are sneaky and can dart into places unobserved. Not anyone's fault it happened.

Nothing is ever the fault of the Chandlers. Chris and Barb have always been horrible pet owners. They wouldn't be able to care for lice properly.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

What if Sorbet tried to commit suicide by running in front of that car?

Most mammals will not kamikaze themselves in order to end their suffering, they won't endanger themselves because it goes against their entire natural instincts.

If Chris was an absolutely terrible and abusive cat owner to Sorbet, a cat will easily leave a home and find a better one if it pleases (but it seemed like he wasn't as big of an insensitive jerk for Sorbet to leave the hoard entirely, it provided adequate shelter and food to keep him contempt, the only real reason why most of the cats in the first place hung around that disgusting house, including all the strays that hang around).

A cat would find an isolated or hidden place to quietly pass away, when it knows its time is up, because they don't want to expose themselves to predators.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

Much like Chris, I assume Sorbet is a neutered male without much cause to wander. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen the Google street view of the The Temple but it doesn’t look like his road would get much traffic. But hell, Sorbet may have been on a hunting expedition for some added nutrition. If Chris feeds the dogs condensed soup then I can only imagine what he feeds the cats.

 

[Argh My Cigar]

It happens. Cats are sneaky and can dart into places unobserved. Not anyone's fault it happened.

"It happens" is a horrible thing say in regards to someone like Chris letting that happen to an innocent little cat. "It happnened" because Chris's home is a massive landfill that isn't safe for a person to live in much less a small animal.

And after a few days you'd think a responsible pet owner would think "Hmmm gee I wonder where Sorbet could've gone, OH WELL HE'LL TURN UP, I gots some twittering to do!"

TAH, I'm sorry- I respect you and your dedication to managing the CWCki and modering this forum but there are times where you can be very oblivious to the seedier side of Chris's actions.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

"It happens" is a horrible thing say in regards to someone like Chris letting that happen to an innocent little cat. "It happnened" because Chris's home is a massive landfill that isn't safe for a person to live in much less a small animal.

And after a few days you'd think a responsible pet owner would think "Hmmm gee I wonder where Sorbet could've gone, OH WELL HE'LL TURN UP, I gots some twittering to do!"

TAH, I'm sorry- I respect you and your dedication to managing the CWCki and modering this forum but there are times where you can be very oblivious to the seedier side of Chris's actions.

Is this what's being talked about or was there another time that happened?

 

[Argh My Cigar]

Is this what's being talked about or was there another time that happened?

Yeah, more or less. I’ve been a cat owner for over 15 years and never had that happen where I allowed a small kitten to get trapped in a room all day. Yeah, I get that shit happens but Sorbet should’ve been kept more or less in an enclosed area. Pollo is a different case since they actually liked Chris and was affectionate to him, but remember that letting Sorbet roam freely is what led him to basically dying.

I’m not saying Chris wasn’t upset, but common sense, dude.