I had a dream about OPL not too long ago. As some of you know I am a private security guard/night watchman. One of the sites I guarded up until last week when I got a new site was the Greyhound bus terminal in downtown Salt Lake City. So in my dream a late night bus arrives and I go unlock the doors and only two people getting off the bus: Chris and Burb. They've come to visit Anna here in Utah.
Bulp is wearing typical old lady clothes, but Chris is wearing a purple mini-skirt, matching purple tube top, and thigh-high white zip-up go-go/fuck me boots with platform heels. The boots are too small to wrap around Chris' fat legs so they only zip to the knee. To top it off Chris has his tangled, greasy, thinning hair in two uneven and matted pigtails tied off with white ribbons and he has his anime wings hair clips in his hair.
He and Barb are walking arm-in-arm like they're on a romantic date. They pass me and both give me the stink eye. They continue to give me foul looks while I walk my rounds. I notice Chris is greedily eyeing two young women who are also in the terminal waiting for their bus to arrive. The girls notice and both look very uncomfortable and turn away.
Chris gets up from the bench and goes to the Coke machine, looks at it for a minute, then turns away and walks over to me. He says "where's the manager? I want to complain about something." I inform him that there are no Greyhound employees on site during the graveyard shift and that I was the only one on site until 6am. He stress sighs and looks back to the girls, then the Coke machine. I ask him what his problem is and he says "I wanted to take those cute girls an orange Fanta to drink but orange Fanta is all out!" I told him that even if a manager was in duty they couldn't help him because we don't stock the Coke machine, Coca-Cola does.
He stress sighs more and says "FINE! I'll buy them Sprite instead!" And storms off. He goes back to the machine and buys two Sprites and a Coke for himself. The girls are watching him and has he gets closer to them they get up and quickly walk over to me and start chatting me up. Chris slows down and stares at us, mouth agape.
One if the girls whispers to me asking me to help them keep away from Chris. He waddles over to us and keeps trying to interrupt us to offer them their sodas and try to break the ice with the girls. I told him that he was being rude and must not respect women very much to be acting this way. He gets visibly upset at this and says "Well that is YOUR personal, individual OPINION and I don't care much for your tone of speaking!"
The girls look back at him and I say "It looks like the ladies think you're being rude as well, so it's not just MY opinion either. Am I right ladies?" They each hook their arms in mine and say "Yes! He's being VERY rude!" Christian looks crushed and starts stuttering "Bu-but...but...but..." The young lady on my right, a red-head who looks a lot like Emma Stone, asks if I would walk them down to the lady's room. I walk them down the hall and Chris waddles after us.
I stop just outside the restroom door and the ladies enter. Chris catches us up and tries to enter after them. I grab him by the shoulder and firmly say "Hey! Just what do you think you are doing you pervert? That's the lady's restroom!"
He rips away from my grasp and says "How DARE you bark at me like you were some kind of dog! I will have you know I am a PROUD TOMGIRL and I have every RIGHT to use that restroom!" "Like hell", I say. "You are a guy in a dress, not a woman. In Utah it is against the law for you to go in there."
He puffs up and says "well I do not care for your stupid local laws as such! You can't stop me!" He makes a move to enter and I step between him and the door and draw my taser. "If you try to enter again I will take that action to mean you wish to sexually assault those women and I will tase you! I will then handcuff you and call the police to remove you from my building."
He starts crying and waddles off towards Barb. Anna enters the terminal to see Chris blubbering and bawling about jerkops keeping him from his Love Quest. Anna comes up to me and bitches me out about mistreating a poor innocent autistic man and that I should kill myself. The girls come out and rip into Anna for defending a disgusting creep who follows women into the toilet. Anna says she didn't know thay he had tried to do that, then confronts Chris about it. He makes a weak argument about wanting to take them their Sprite before it got warm. He then lets slip that he wanted to try to have hanky-panky with one of them in the stall.
Anna screams at Chris that he is sick and twisted and says that the trolls were all right about him. She says she never wants to speak to him again and storms out the door. Barb and Chris follow after her, begging for her to take them with because they don't have any place to stay. When the door shuts I lock it behind them. Chris is crying and pounding on the door as I call the police. My dream ends before the police arrive
This isn't the only dream I've had about OPL, but it was the only one I remember in detail, which is odd because I rarely remember dreams. I remember this one, I think, because it was so vivid.
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