Chris' funniest one-liner

[Carlos Thin]

1) "Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha" - Placing Bad Luck and Extreme Misfortune on all of those who give me grief or hate.
2) "Forgiveness Blessing" - Cures all ailments of virus or physical qualities.
3) "Hono" - Makes Gays, regardless of gender, become Straight; NEVER to be gay EVER Again.
4) "Peaceful Teaching" - Quells all disputes and disagreements within a 1000 mile radius, and turns all weaponry into dust.
5) "Come to me, my Women" - Locates and attracts 18 to 30-year old single women within a 5-mile radius.

 

[Owlflaps]

"Don't. Call. Anybody." - Famous last words of CWC.

 

[A Skeleton]

In no particular order:

"Clyde do you hear me... You are DEEEEAAAAD. You are DEAD. YOU ARE DEEAAD. AND SO IS THAT PAGE."
"I just want to continue to make it perfectly clear that I am a healthy, growing, sane, and sound-minded adult individual."
"I sometimes accidentally, uh... poo my pants. But I mean, who hasn't in their lifetime, I mean, pooed their childhood diapers, much less pooed their... underwear at least once in their lifetime."
"You can kiss my Vagina of My Soul!"
"I understand the women."
"Those people who disregard you are just total peanuts! And I'm not talking Charlie Brown."

 

[SnergenFlergen]

'It's been a fair year.'

 

[Hexbox]

"I shower daily."

 

[Vaginatables]

"In the END, I WAS the Victim"

 

[P-Logic]

"I am ho mo for women"

 

[spehgeddaboudit]

It's not a one liner, but just hearing the words "Ching Chong" come out of Chris' mouth in a video caused me to nearly piss myself, I guess because I wasn't expecting it.

 

[MW 002]

"DON'T CALL ANYBODY!"

I've been quoting that all day around coworkers who follow his antics

 

[Honeyrabbit]

"DON'T CALL ANYBODY!"

I've been quoting that all day around coworkers who follow his antics

I love how every time Chris says a new thing, it shows up here as his funniest one liner.

 

[A Whole Block of Cheese]

My favorite will always be "Down to where? All that is down is only the floor." even though it's in the comic
Another one I find really quotable is "I stuff vegetables down my throat!"

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

"You see, my parents are a little bit in with the government."

--Chris, trying to make the tugboat sound like anything other than welfare during the Father Call.

 

[Ass-Manager]

"I-GOT-A-GOD-DAMN-MOTHER-FUCKIN-SIX-INCH-COCK-WITH-FOUR-INCH-DYNA-MITER-BAWWWWWWWWWWLS"

 

[Xarpho]

I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD will always be one of my faves.

 

[Abethedemon]

New reason why they call it the motherfucking 360, you look at it makes you turn around— makes you do a 360° and walk away.

 

[strayfies]

In the same vein, JenkinsJinkies referred to Chris as being "wild as a serial raper".

I'm gonna have to say his brief stint as JenkinsJinkies was probably the funniest of his many, many stints. Totally forgot about that one.

Another favorite classic (admitting bias, as this was my first exposure to Cwc) :
"My girlfriend reverse-impregnated me!"

 

[Bobby Hill]

"GET IT THROUGH YOUR DAMN FUCKING SKULL AND CALL ME THE REAL NAME THAT HAVE GOD HAS BEEN GIVEN TO ME, and the bear at Regency Square shopping center, during 1989... YOU DAMN MOCKING BASTARD!!!"

 

[Gothicserpent]

"Reginald's been a messy lil' babychild! Made his lil' peeps n' poops!"

What the fuck is a babychild.

 

[Ace]

THAT IS MY HOUSE!

*Please, read this in Chris' voice while imagining that tard rage face. Cracks me up every time*

 

[Crayola Fuckin ModelMagic]

"...and my Spanish name being Ricardo!"