Chris' funniest one-liner

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"This doesn't even deserve a captain's log because [whips off eyeglasses] THIS. IS. SERIOUS."

Also not really a line but that moment when he stops and visibly enjoys the process of ripping a very loud fart in the middle of wooing a heartsweet. Just, man, farts are funny, but that one is fucking hilarious.
 
Not a one-liner, but in at least one of the recently leaked apology letters, he refers to his "home of residence." Because he's totally Mitt Romney and owns so many homes where he doesn't reside?
 
NobleGreyHorse said:
Not a one-liner, but in at least one of the recently leaked apology letters, he refers to his "home of residence." Because he's totally Mitt Romney and owns so many homes where he doesn't reside?
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The resemblance is uncanny.
 
Not quite a one liner, but in one of the videos where he's trying to re-iterate his straightness he says something like "Boobies! Vaginas!" and runs his hands down an imaginary woman and mutters out "mmm.....gorgeous". That always cracked me up.
 
"Nobody was sprayed, and they know better than to scare this badass self again"

Seriously, that was awesome, better than anything from 2009. He is on the path of a 32 year old jit and I love it. Just got out of holding for the second time in his life and probably on the way to a couple months in the county if that gamestop clerk presses charges, but he is still talking shit. We already knew he doesn't learn from his mistakes, but after he realizes regular jail isn't that bad we are going to be in for some shit. 2015 is going to be a great year.
 
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Prosecutor Godot said:
Not quite a one liner, but in one of the videos where he's trying to re-iterate his straightness he says something like "Boobies! Vaginas!" and runs his hands down an imaginary woman and mutters out "mmm.....gorgeous". That always cracked me up.
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I do love the Kacey call of him saying "I hate staring at penises! I love staring at vaginas!"
 
In Yellow Is A Mellow Color, the way he vocalizes the "aye!" at the end of the Macarena chorus is the funniest shit I've heard in a while. You can tell he feels obligated to fit it into the song, to remind people it's a parody, but he carelessly glides over it and ends up saying "Hey, mellow color--aehh.".
 
My fav one-liner is probably the "dudes of all teenages...as well as the, uh, gals" line from his speech on his 25th (holds up three fingers) birthday.
If you started w/ Chris's videos from the beginning, that would be the first classic line you'd hear from him...it's like "call me Ishmael." Noobs would learn very quickly why Chris is such an object of fascination.
 
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