Chris in 20 years?
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- Feb 4, 2013
CatParty said:
Naaaaaah.
He just smells like one right now.
But in the future, his aroma will evolve into something new and terrifying. The Fume will take on a horrifying semi-sentient psuedo-life of its own, animating the corpse and steering it towards new victims.
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- Feb 26, 2013
Stinking, greasy, unhygienic hobo.
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- Sep 15, 2013
The hoard will have decomposed down to a rich fertilizer, full of ammonia and methane. A la Life After Man.
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- May 27, 2013
By 2033 Chris will probably have become a drone.
Because drones are gonna become the new thing within that timeframe, and a life form as worthless as Chris may as well merge with one.
Souless, just as he always was
Because drones are gonna become the new thing within that timeframe, and a life form as worthless as Chris may as well merge with one.
Souless, just as he always was
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- Feb 3, 2013
bungholio said:
Forget high school. I think in twenty years, Chris will fondly reminisce about that Internet forum that paid so much attention to him.
Long live the CWCki Forums.
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- Sep 28, 2013
Dead.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
LordCustos3 said:
I see him more as Miss Havisham.
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- Mar 14, 2013
After Barb passes, Chris sits on his couch and plays vidya, dead to the world. Unbeknownst to him, the immense amounts of unwashed 
, coupled with the byproducts of the decaying Chandler pets have caused a dangerous methane buildup in the house. Meanwhile, his PS4 (because he's totally buying one) has become covered with q-sand wrappers and cannot vent properly. Under the strain Chris puts on it, it heats up to a dangerous level. One day, a stray wisp of methane enters the overheated PS4 and ignites, causing a flash explosion that consumes the methane in the house.
However, the immense amount of junk absorbs the blast, disintegrating in the process. Most of the heat and force is reflected on Chris. However, his many exterior layers of grease and interior layers of flab have made him flame-retardant. The grease on his skin is burned off, cleansing him for the first time in many years. The shockwave hits him next, compressing his fat and squeezing it into his skeletal muscle structure. Much poorly-understood interactions take place, during which his fat is consumed and recycled by his body into muscle or fresh tissue, effectively de-aging Chris into his ideal high-school self. Meanwhile, the immense physical trauma caused 'reboots' Chris' brain, curing his autism in the process.
The blast blows what little junk and dirt was not disintegrated out the front door, cleaning the rest of the house. Chris is found the next day; after rehabilitation, he becomes a functional member of society with a few odd quirks.
, coupled with the byproducts of the decaying Chandler pets have caused a dangerous methane buildup in the house. Meanwhile, his PS4 (because he's totally buying one) has become covered with q-sand wrappers and cannot vent properly. Under the strain Chris puts on it, it heats up to a dangerous level. One day, a stray wisp of methane enters the overheated PS4 and ignites, causing a flash explosion that consumes the methane in the house.However, the immense amount of junk absorbs the blast, disintegrating in the process. Most of the heat and force is reflected on Chris. However, his many exterior layers of grease and interior layers of flab have made him flame-retardant. The grease on his skin is burned off, cleansing him for the first time in many years. The shockwave hits him next, compressing his fat and squeezing it into his skeletal muscle structure. Much poorly-understood interactions take place, during which his fat is consumed and recycled by his body into muscle or fresh tissue, effectively de-aging Chris into his ideal high-school self. Meanwhile, the immense physical trauma caused 'reboots' Chris' brain, curing his autism in the process.
The blast blows what little junk and dirt was not disintegrated out the front door, cleaning the rest of the house. Chris is found the next day; after rehabilitation, he becomes a functional member of society with a few odd quirks.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2013
Springblossom said:After Barb passes, Chris sits on his couch and plays vidya, dead to the world. Unbeknownst to him, the immense amounts of unwashed
However, the immense amount of junk absorbs the blast, disintegrating in the process. Most of the heat and force is reflected on Chris. However, his many exterior layers of grease and interior layers of flab have made him flame-retardant. The grease on his skin is burned off, cleansing him for the first time in many years. The shockwave hits him next, compressing his fat and squeezing it into his skeletal muscle structure. Much poorly-understood interactions take place, during which his fat is consumed and recycled by his body into muscle or fresh tissue, effectively de-aging Chris into his ideal high-school self. Meanwhile, the immense physical trauma caused 'reboots' Chris' brain, curing his autism in the process.
The blast blows what little junk and dirt was not disintegrated out the front door, cleaning the rest of the house. Chris is found the next day; after rehabilitation, he becomes a functional member of society with a few odd quirks.
When the realization hits him that he almost died, he'll see the error of his ways. He'll seek out everyone, Megan, Synder, Mary Lee Walsh, everyone. He'll apologize, and using his new found office job salary, purchase tokens to make amends to them. Assuming his hair doesn't act as a wick and ignite his head.
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
Lets be bummerific, shall we?
Let me stop you there, and hypothesize how this would play our in cold, harsh, troll-laden reality-land.
The shockwave hits him, knocking him unconscious. The innards of the house are ignited and heaps of mildew infused, dust choked Dollar Store bullshit begins melting and smoldering. The air is filled with a thick pall of 12 different varieties of toxic smoke. Snorlax -- who's lungs aren't the best in the world to begin with -- can't do anything helpful with this greyish brown fog of oily, particulate air-soup and she quietly seizes up and dies. Because the stuffy, closed-in nature of 14 Branchland Court, the fire isn't even noticeable from outside; the layers of accumulated filth caking the windows makes it impossible to see the smoke-choked interior. Maybe Chris will regain consciousness....maybe he wont. Even if he does, his tiny brain will be too starved of oxygen and his natural out-of-shape body will not be in any condition to initiate a panicked escape.
Soon fire fills the entire abode, and right before the fire uses up the last of the air in 14 Branchland and chokes itself out, the upper floors of the Heap collapse in, letting fresh air in to feed the flames. The remaining cats and rodents scarpered the moment they had the chance, but the remaining dogs are killed instantly. The carcasses of the "human" inhabitants are also crushed into a greasy paste at this point.
Because of the relative remoteness of 14 Branchland, the fire department isn't even aware of the fire until it is far, far too late to do anything about it. It is a towering trash fire, reeking of molten plastic and an unidentifiable organic stench. Like a battlefield strewn with rotting corpses coated in polyester and dollar store gravy. Breathing in the fumes causes asthma-like symptoms even in non-asthmatics and exposure to the ashes causes contact dermatitis and symptoms similar to ringworm. For months, all the neighbors can taste something repulsive in the air.....a vapor reminiscent of smoked melon-rot, swamp-water and crotch vomit.
Soon, the Crater has to be declared a Superfund site. For months afterwards, haunted men in bight yellow Hazmat suits have to scrape shovel-fuls of the congealing grot into dumptrucks. This substance becomes a boon for the military. 4 new chemical and 7 new biological weapons are discovered in the goop. All 11 substances are declared to be in breach of the Geneva Convention, because their use would be inhumane.
Three weeks later, someone finally gets a hold of Coleslaw Smithey -- probably calling him up while he stares into the mirror and masturbates ('ironically', of course) to his own image -- to tell him about the tragic death of his mother and half-brother. To which he responds:
"Who?"
Springblossom said:After Barb passes, Chris sits on his couch and plays vidya, dead to the world. Unbeknownst to him, the immense amounts of unwashed
However, the immense amount of junk absorbs the blast, disintegrating in the process. Most of the heat and force is reflected on Chris. However, his many exterior layers of grease and interior layers of flab have made him flame-retardant. The grease on his skin is burned off, cleansing him for the first time in many years. The shockwave hits him next.....
Let me stop you there, and hypothesize how this would play our in cold, harsh, troll-laden reality-land.
The shockwave hits him, knocking him unconscious. The innards of the house are ignited and heaps of mildew infused, dust choked Dollar Store bullshit begins melting and smoldering. The air is filled with a thick pall of 12 different varieties of toxic smoke. Snorlax -- who's lungs aren't the best in the world to begin with -- can't do anything helpful with this greyish brown fog of oily, particulate air-soup and she quietly seizes up and dies. Because the stuffy, closed-in nature of 14 Branchland Court, the fire isn't even noticeable from outside; the layers of accumulated filth caking the windows makes it impossible to see the smoke-choked interior. Maybe Chris will regain consciousness....maybe he wont. Even if he does, his tiny brain will be too starved of oxygen and his natural out-of-shape body will not be in any condition to initiate a panicked escape.
Soon fire fills the entire abode, and right before the fire uses up the last of the air in 14 Branchland and chokes itself out, the upper floors of the Heap collapse in, letting fresh air in to feed the flames. The remaining cats and rodents scarpered the moment they had the chance, but the remaining dogs are killed instantly. The carcasses of the "human" inhabitants are also crushed into a greasy paste at this point.
Because of the relative remoteness of 14 Branchland, the fire department isn't even aware of the fire until it is far, far too late to do anything about it. It is a towering trash fire, reeking of molten plastic and an unidentifiable organic stench. Like a battlefield strewn with rotting corpses coated in polyester and dollar store gravy. Breathing in the fumes causes asthma-like symptoms even in non-asthmatics and exposure to the ashes causes contact dermatitis and symptoms similar to ringworm. For months, all the neighbors can taste something repulsive in the air.....a vapor reminiscent of smoked melon-rot, swamp-water and crotch vomit.
Soon, the Crater has to be declared a Superfund site. For months afterwards, haunted men in bight yellow Hazmat suits have to scrape shovel-fuls of the congealing grot into dumptrucks. This substance becomes a boon for the military. 4 new chemical and 7 new biological weapons are discovered in the goop. All 11 substances are declared to be in breach of the Geneva Convention, because their use would be inhumane.
Three weeks later, someone finally gets a hold of Coleslaw Smithey -- probably calling him up while he stares into the mirror and masturbates ('ironically', of course) to his own image -- to tell him about the tragic death of his mother and half-brother. To which he responds:
"Who?"
fridgesrants
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 25, 2013
If Chris is alive in 20 years I will be shocked. If he cannot get his life back together after Barb dies then I think he will end up either homeless, in a mental hospital, group home, or jail. I am doubting Chris could take care of a house himself and if he is smart he will sell the house and move into a studio apartment and get a part time job. Since Chris has made bad decisions in the past I doubt he will have a bright future.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
In 20 years, if any of us still cares enough to check up on what he's doing, I think it's safe to say we failed, too.
Jackolantern
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2013
He'll merge with the hoard while Barb clings to life, just to keep his life miserable.
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