Chris is going to Everfree Northwest - (Update July 31st: Chris is not going to Everfree Northwest)

[Leibowitz]

"Sir, will you be checking your luggage?"

"It's miss, and no, I will be wearing it, thank you. My husband will help me carry it onboard, I'll have you know!"

Imagine him going into Hedgehog Defense Mode™ in the middle of the TSA line.

 

[Iamthatis]

Everyfree Northwest is an August 13th Bronycon thing.

Problem: It's in Seattle.

Chris's current plan is to drive the van over the rockies to Seattle taking one stop to rest in a parking lot.

I am using executive privilege to veto this plan in favor of a flight itinerary. Chris will need a rental car but has already book a hotel room for the weekend and gotten a pass to go. I'm debating how to get the money for this. Chris is considering a GoFundMe. This might be a good test to see if I can get Chris to do drawings and shoutout videos reliably.

Discuss. Are any of you going there? I might need someone dependable to call on.


Edit: If you're going to this thread to lecture me for helping Chris, or to bitch about Chris doing anything besides working in a Bauxite mine, consider killing yourself instead. I'm not asking you for your money. Chris has a huge following.

I would really worry about Chris being able to conduct himself properly on a plane. If he pesters other passages about da twolls and da merge or spergs at a member of the crew it would go tits up fast. If you want this to work safely for Chris i would really recommend a chaperone. Maybe you could build it into the crowd funding and pay for the chaperone to attend as an incentive. Didn’t a group of trannys do that so that he didn’t get kicked out of bronycon?

 

[BigTubboWithLittleChina]

I'm not sure how, if he gets to the con, will play out though. I know he'd want to meet the voice actresses but most of them aren't going to be attending in person.

Does that really matter? He's hardly met any of them in person at the cons that he's attended. He seems more interested, to this day, in the Anal Cysts. Chris knows that he'll never be a real Pony celebrity, but he figures that he has a shot at being a Big Name Fan. As long as they're present, you can guarantee that he'll be sucking up to them with more pieces of lovely quartz, freebie comics, and incessant insistence that he was Da Red Spy than you can shake a cattle prod at.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I would really worry about Chris being able to conduct himself properly on a plane. If he pesters other passages about da twolls and da merge or spergs at a member of the crew it would go tits up fast. If you want this to work safely for Chris i would really recommend a chaperone. Maybe you could build it into the crowd funding and pay for the chaperone to attend as an incentive. Didn’t a group of trannys do that so that he didn’t get kicked out of bronycon?

I think they were just there, and hung around him the first day, and then did their own thing.

 

[:gold:]

He can also take the train from Charlottesville to Seattle. It takes three days, but maybe that is a good thing. Also, autistic muppets love trains.
He is, after, a trainsexual.

 

[Null]

The real question is what does this forum get out of giving Chris money?

THEN DON'T. I'M NOT ASKING FOR YOUR MONEY. I DON'T WANT IT.

holy fuck how do you people not understand he had tens of thousands of followers and people who contact him every day trying to find ways to get him to do art for money? He doesn't NEED your money. I don't WANT you to GIVE HIM your money.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

He can also take the train from Charlottesville to Seattle. It takes three days, but maybe that is a good thing. Also, autistic muppets love trains.
He is, after, a trainsexual.

Can you imagine passengers trapped with Chris for three days on a train? Burpin, fartin, scratching, and talking in his sleep. "Oh, Magichan, the rocking motion of your bionic penis and this train are just the rest I needed."

 

[Uncle Warren]

Didn't he sperg the fuck out the LAST bronycon he went to? AFTER he was sexually harassing someone?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Didn't he sperg the fuck out the LAST bronycon he went to? AFTER he was sexually harassing someone?

That was too many games. He talks to himself and dances by himself at bronycons.

 

[Spergichu]

Those Praetor fags got Chris to at least sign off on their Sonichu medalions and other memorabilia and do those weird presentations for what amounted to chump change. Surely you can wrangle Chris to do a couple of commissions to fund this trip.

 

[:gold:]

Can you imagine passengers trapped with Chris for three days on a train? Burpin, fartin, scratching, and talking in his sleep. "Oh, Magichan, the rocking motion of your bionic penis and this train are just the rest I needed."

Amtrak is probably the best and funniest option available.
No TSA, no tiny airplane seats for his fat ass, and no need to worry about running out of gas. Also, there will be old and obese people on the train, so he will be with his people.

 

[Kosher Dill]

If you had to sit next to Chris would you feel privileged or would you ask the flight attendant if you could change seats?

I'd ask him to sit on my lap.

 

[DontEatThat]

Im sure if no one did anything the car wouldnt make it and Chris would be bitchy until someone came up and bailed him out. I am in favor of him trying to at least fucking work for his money but I know he will barely make an effort and people will just throw money at him like hes a grinder monkey. Hes pretty boring nowadays and getting him to fly across the country for this con is gonna be interesting no matter what happens. Whether its shit at the airport, or on the plane itself and of course the con itself. Itll be nice to have Chris news thats not just him rambling on twitter about his delusions.

 

[Epic Fail Man]

Amtrak is probably the best and funniest option available.
No TSA, no tiny airplane seats for his fat ass, and no need to worry about running out of gas. Also, there will be old and obese people on the train, so he will be with his people.

I was going to recommend the train as well. But I think he would wander off from the train in a random station and get lost while the train leaves.

And last I checked you would need to switch between a train and a bus during the trip.

 

[Second-Hand Boat Supplies]

One word of caution that hasn't been brought up yet is that an incident on a plane has a slim but possible chance of getting a huge amount of attention. Remember that Korean guy who flipped out, squealing while he was dragged off a plane a couple years back and became major national news? If something like that were to happen, the fallout would be unpredictable. I could see national outlets spinning the story to "website owner puts severally disabled person on a flight alone as a prank."

Overall, I fully support the intention though. He's the primary reason the site exists, so I totally respect null's want to ensure Chris doesn't die after falling asleep behind the wheel after 24 straight hours of driving.

 

[AmbiTron]

I would love for him to scare the shit out of some poor people and be asked to leave, leading to another Hedgehog Defensive Position meltdown. Go Null, help this sped harass innocent people.

 

[ComedyEnjoyer]

One word of caution that hasn't been brought up yet is that an incident on a plane has a slim but possible chance of getting a huge amount of attention. Remember that Korean guy who flipped out, squealing while he was dragged off a plane a couple years back and became major national news? If something like that were to happen, the fallout would be unpredictable. I could see national outlets spinning the story to "website owner puts severally disabled person on a flight alone as a prank."

Overall, I fully support the intention though. He's the primary reason the site exists, so I totally respect null's want to ensure Chris doesn't die after falling asleep behind the wheel after 24 straight hours of driving.

Chris isn't that retarded. Usually. The odds of him having a spastic fit of that magnitude are very low, he's more likely to just make his fellow passengers incredibly uncomfortable by dressing like a clown and having then as a captive audience for him to talk at.

 

[Kosher Dill]

One word of caution that hasn't been brought up yet is that an incident on a plane has a slim but possible chance of getting a huge amount of attention. Remember that Korean guy who flipped out, squealing while he was dragged off a plane a couple years back and became major national news?

Chris doesn't just chimp out in public for no reason. The "Hedgehog Defensive Mode" incident was because con staff kicked him out for being too huggy-kissy with random attendees. I highly doubt he's going to try anything like that on a plane.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

This can only end badly.

So I guess I'll keep my popcorn on standby.

Chris isn't that retarded. Usually. The odds of him having a spastic fit of that magnitude are very low, he's more likely to just make his fellow passengers incredibly uncomfortable by dressing like a clown and having then as a captive audience for him to talk at.

The smell, don't forget the smell.

 

[Wowcoolusername]

Why can't he get a job?

Hello, you must be new to Chris.
Tell me: if you were an employer, would you give Chris a job? Even something as lowly and menial as mopping or taking out trash, would you trust him enough to do even that? Would you want someone with Chris' history associated with you or your company? Can you imagine ANY scenario where Chris being employed in any capacity turns out well for anyone involved???
The man is unemployable. Sorry state of affairs, but it's true. Best to accept him for what he is or move on because questioning him as a person will only bring you headaches and heartbreak.