Chris is lost, also Zelda.

[NiggoFiggo]

Only way tardy mctard gets a fresh starts if he wangs his head becoming a blank slate. Other then that new year same ole chrissy

 

[Mourning Dove]

Meh, just seeing Chris just whine to himself again makes me want to play some Zelda games.

 

[Roger Rabbit]

Except the Legend of Zelda pic, that part's lost on me.

Yeah, can anyone who's down with Zelda II please explain this one?

In the game, Link pays a woman to heal him. They go into her house. It looks like they're having hanky-panky.

Either Chris is thinking stuff that even 12-year-olds would make jokes about, or the hooker thing finally bit him in the ass.

 

[exball]

Except the Legend of Zelda pic, that part's lost on me.

Yeah, can anyone who's down with Zelda II please explain this one?

In the game, Link pays a woman to heal him. They go into her house. It looks like they're having hanky-panky.

Either Chris is thinking stuff that even 12-year-olds would make jokes about, or the hooker thing finally bit him in the ass.

Actually Chris is just a retard as usual. He meant for it to come out like this.

 

[JeffGoldblumIRL]

I am in misery.

.....THERE AIN'T NO BODY WHO CAN COMFORT ME, OH YEAH. WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME? THE SILENCE IS SLOWLY KILLING ME, OH YEAH.

Terrifyingly accurate.

GURLLL, YOU REALLY GOT ME BAD, YOU REALLY GOT ME BAD. AND IIIII AM GONNA GET YOU BACK, I'M GONNA GET YOU BACK.

I'm scared now.

The only Maroon 5 in Chris' life are the five sweethearts that left him (marooned) high and dry.

This looks like a good time to have an intervention.

I doubt there's enough people in Chris' life to actually have an intervention. Not even Barb would participate because she believes (and has convinced Chris) that there's nothing wrong with her snowflake. You'd have maybe Rocky on his side, and that's it. She doesn't count because she'd probably be the counselor performing said intervention.

http://i40.tinypic.com/2zovl9k.png

Funny how there's still people who believe Chris can make a new start. Do any of these people actually know him at all?

Probably not, they could be HS friends or friends of family. Before I closed my own Facebook account I had friends-of-friends, relatives I've seen zero times, and family friends on my buddy list. They could also be people from Chris' church.

It's funny because these people are essentially disproving his emotional tirade. Here are people paying attention to him and actively responding to his posts on his Facebook wall. It may be hot air and generic advice but they're still replies nonetheless.

Only way tardy mctard gets a fresh starts if he wangs his head becoming a blank slate. Other then that new year same ole chrissy

It's worth a shot. It worked for Coleslaw.

Allegedly.

 

[Kyoosand]

Once again, Chris goes from "STOP LOOKING AT ME!!" to "NO ONE EVER LOOKS AT ME!" , and will soon swing back again. No matter what anyone does, Chris will whine about it.

 

[milkshark]

Every early 30's adult has trouble making new friends, unless they're parents. He has nothing in common with anyone his age, so he's gotta work harder to make new friendships. Sorry buddy, but complaining is counterproductive.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Every early 30's adult has trouble making new friends, unless they're parents. He has nothing in common with anyone his age, so he's gotta work harder to make new friendships. Sorry buddy, but complaining is counterproductive.

It's all he knows. It's all he's ever known. See, he was mainstreamed even though his brain was broken, and now he's a child alone in a cold forest filled with hungry wolves.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

Every early 30's adult has trouble making new friends

I concur.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Every early 30's adult has trouble making new friends, unless they're parents. He has nothing in common with anyone his age, so he's gotta work harder to make new friendships. Sorry buddy, but complaining is counterproductive.

Hell, I'm a parent and apart from people I've met on the forum, I have maybe two IRL friends. And mostly they're my friends because I met them through my wife. It kinda sucks when you want to get together with some friends on Superbowl Sunday or get a Pay-Per-View boxing match and pop some beers and then realize that there's not anybody to do it with.

But that's just part of adulthood. You have friends, you lose friends, friends move away, you meet new people. It's just all based on perspective.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

It would be amazing to somehow communicate to Chris that *no one* has the life he seems to think he's entitled to.

 

[Pikonic]

It would be amazing to somehow communicate to Chris that *no one* has the life he seems to think he's entitled to.

Tom Brady has a life Chris thinks he's entitled to

What Chris wants:
A hot wife who makes massive bank- Brady has it.
Everyone to think he's awesome (aka respect and a good reputation)- Brady has it.
A daughter and a son- Brady has it.
Money- My god, Brady has it.
To be the sticky dream of millions of boyfriend-free girls- Brady's got it.
Awards and acknowledgements for his amazing talents- Brady's got that too.

What Tom Brady has done to get these nice things?
Discover what his talents are and acknowledge his weaknesses- Chris has not done this.
Work hard to improve his talents- Chris has not done this
Do charity- Chris has not done this.
Be respectful and nice to others and thus be respected back- Chris has not done this.
Set goals and work towards them- Chris may or may not have done this
Maintained his physical appearance- Chris has not done this.

What Chris has done to get these nice things
Complain
Wait for these things to be handed to him.

And if we were to ask Chris why Tom Brady is living the life Chris wants, what do you think he'd say?

 

[Hyperion]

And if we were to ask Chris why Tom Brady is living the life Chris wants, what do you think he'd say?

Tom Brady is a SLANDEROUS TROLL?

 

[Pikonic]

And if we were to ask Chris why Tom Brady is living the life Chris wants, what do you think he'd say?

Tom Brady is a SLANDEROUS TROLL?

The correct answer was JERK. Half-credit.

 

[CWCissey]

[youtube]Uzp5ocWvzck[/youtube]

Fuck this 'I'M SO RONERY' Chris, he's boring.

GO BACK TO BEING FUNNY!

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

What Tom Brady has done to get these nice things?
Discover what his talents are and acknowledge his weaknesses- Chris has not done this.
Work hard to improve his talents- Chris has not done this
Do charity- Chris has not done this.
Be respectful and nice to others and thus be respected back- Chris has not done this.
Set goals and work towards them- Chris may or may not have done this
Maintained his physical appearance- Chris has not

That's the difference, and it's a big one. People do lead extravagant lives (Hugh Hefner would have been my example) but they earn them through a combination of hard work and diligent planning. Chris just thinks he can walk into that life.

 

[Henry Bemis]

People do lead extravagant lives (Hugh Hefner would have been my example) but they earn them through a combination of hard work and diligent planning. Chris just thinks he can walk into that life get that life dropped in his lap.

Fixed, because walking is too much work for Chris.

 

[4Macie]

What Tom Brady has done to get these nice things?
Discover what his talents are and acknowledge his weaknesses- Chris has not done this.
Work hard to improve his talents- Chris has not done this
Do charity- Chris has not done this.
Be respectful and nice to others and thus be respected back- Chris has not done this.
Set goals and work towards them- Chris may or may not have done this
Maintained his physical appearance- Chris has not

That's the difference, and it's a big one. People do lead extravagant lives (Hugh Hefner would have been my example) but they earn them through a combination of hard work and diligent planning. Chris just thinks he can walk into that life.

HE'S WORKING ON IT! Gawd!
In all seriousness; Chris would still bitch and moan about the life he had even if it WAS like Tom Brady. "Ohhh, why didn't I get this, that, and the other thing?!?! MUST BE TROLLS!" People would look at him and say "Chris, you have a beautiful/hot wife, great kids, loads of money; what more could you want?!?!" and he'd say, " I want my highschool galpalz to say they're sorry for speaking the hurtful truth! AND I want anything said about me in a negative light GONE FROM DA INTERNET AND ALL THE TROLLS TO DIE!"

 

[Dormiebasne]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uzp5ocWvzck

Fuck this 'I'M SO RONERY' Chris, he's boring.

GO BACK TO BEING FUNNY!

Spoiler

 

[impossibility]

So is Zelda 2 Chris' favorite Zelda game?

He does tend to like the less well-recieved incarnations of popular franchises.