LGBT Chris' Taint

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Wow, it seems that this thread is blowing up as fast as the House Fire thread several months ago. I have the feeling that this piercing is going to feel like fire if Chris neglects to take care of it.
 
There is only one thing I can do to express how I feel about this:

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You know, I feel like I should point out that the title of the thread should be Chris's Taint, but I think we're dealing with bigger issues right now.
 
This is utterly amazing. It's amazing how someone can set themselves up to fail so badly. It seems almost deliberate.

I'm not the first person to say it, but Chris is facing HOMELESSNESS soon. And he's completely unemployable. And he has no savings (he actually has more debt than most people have in savings). Yeah, he has a girlfriend. But what of that? How stable is their relationship? Will she let him move in with her? Does Barbara Anne get to come too? Or will he abandon his mother to the street and move in with his china dispenser?

And with his entire life teetering on the brink of collapse and chaos, with everything he knows and loves and cares about about to be destroyed around him, with every last bit of the mark he's made on this earth about to be erased from history forever... He decides he needs to pierce his genitals.
 
And, here I've been worrying that I can't be shocked by Chris anymore. Then he does this.

Yep, that's the old Chris-Chan feeling, alright. A strong mix of horror and amusement.
 
Optimus Prime said:
Oh jesus I hope that doesn't have anything to do with Chris's old obsession about how Bob had Native American in his blood...
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No. Just no. As the board's official Old Person and certified member of the Eastern Band of Cherokians ... no. There is no culture of piercing in the Cherokee Nation as ANY type of rite of passage (and you can use whatever definition of that word you care to) other than ear piercing which was solely for decoration. This is just straight up bat shit insane crazy Tribe of North American Male-Lesboi Autist.
 
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Remember when Chris said his heart hurt in that poem he wrote, and there was a banner that said "Chris, if you're having chest pains, please go to the hospital"? Should we have one telling Chris to clean his taint? Because judging by what others have said, this could turn into a Crucial Danger Situation very soon.
 
For some reason, I am picturing Forrest Gump as the guy who performed the operation.
"Yessir. Pierced him directly in the but-tocks."
 
Jon-Nyan said:
Remember when Chris said his heart hurt in that poem he wrote, and there was a banner that said "Chris, if you're having chest pains, please go to the hospital"? Should we have one telling Chris to clean his taint? Because judging by what others have said, this could turn into a Crucial Danger Situation very soon.
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Considering his history of ignoring advice, why would he listen now?
 
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