LGBT Chris' Taint

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Chris is just being Chris. Giving out way too much information as always.

I work at at body modification clinic (as we call it) and I have had the displeasure of giving a man a taint piercing, only for it to wind up badly. I have only seen a few men get it done. A week after getting it done he came into the clinic complaining of pain and refused to go to the doctor. READ ON FOR THE GRAPHIC DETAILS. He took off his skinny jeans to reveal a giant, pus dripping abscess that made the other assistant sick. It was the worst thing I had ever seen at that point. He had a fever and was sweating, but he was too embarrassed to go to the er. My boss called an ambulance and by the time they got there the idiot took out the stud and the abscess burst with pus. He was screaming and thrashing so hard that he had to be sedated and taken to the er. Months later, he returned to the clinic to get his foreskin pierced. Some people never learn.

The best advise I have for Chris is to get that thing out while he can.
 
Bigguy28 said:
He claims that he cleans it personally in daily baths and showers. I imagine that consists of him squatting over a bucket of water and splashing a wet rag on his undercarriage.

And dammit I imagine him doing that.
Click to expand...

One to add to the list
 
Wow, so Chris read a thread about his own taint.

And we got it to 18 pages...

Yeah, shut the internet down. We fucked up.
 
Somehow, this is both the worst and funniest thing ever. Like a car full of drunken circus clowns careening into a burning orphanage.
 
Bigguy28 said:
He claims that he cleans it personally in daily baths and showers. I imagine that consists of him squatting over a bucket of water and splashing a wet rag on his undercarriage.

And dammit I imagined him doing that.
Click to expand...

That's the true horror of the situation. The mental images of that which should not be imagined.
Seriously, though, you'd think Chris would research female genitalia, considering he considers himself a lesbian.

Chris, your taint ain't what you think it is. Google it, for fuck's sake.
 
Okay, so Chris now identifies himself as a transgendered lesbian. It'd be in poor taste calling him gay in an attempt to anger him.

Now we call him a dang, dirty breeder.
 
I've been violently puking the entire time I've been reading this thread.

I assume "Daily Baths and Showers" weren't happening before this, so at least that's an upgrade (for as long as they continue, which is probably not nearly long enough.)
 
Batman VS Tony Danza said:
Wow, so Chris read a thread about his own taint.

And we got it to 18 pages...

Yeah, shut the internet down. We fucked up.
Click to expand...
And nearly every page had at least one "Chris is going to get a nasty infection and possibly die for reals", and yet he ignores them. I guess Chris would rather go out in style by dying from sepsis in an ill-advised genital piercing than fade into obscurity?

Well, this certainly ZAPS TO THE EXTREME any lingering thoughts that Chris would turn his life around after the fire at 14BLC and become a better, sane person.
 
_blank_ said:
fucking-called-it_zpsdceca608.png


Fucking called it-- Edit: Censored the oh-no-oh-so-naughty-bits from Wikipedia

Fucking. Called. It.
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I thought the taint was the space between the balls and anus. The female's clit is on the opposite side of the vay-jay-jay.

All this talk from Chris about long bonobo clits makes me ill.
 
The Joker said:
Chris is just being Chris. Giving out way too much information as always.

I work at at body modification clinic (as we call it) and I have had the displeasure of giving a man a taint piercing, only for it to wind up badly. I have only seen a few men get it done. A week after getting it done he came into the clinic complaining of pain and refused to go to the doctor. READ ON FOR THE GRAPHIC DETAILS. He took off his skinny jeans to reveal a giant, pus dripping abscess that made the other assistant sick. It was the worst thing I had ever seen at that point. He had a fever and was sweating, but he was too embarrassed to go to the er. My boss called an ambulance and by the time they got there the idiot took out the stud and the abscess burst with pus. He was screaming and thrashing so hard that he had to be sedated and taken to the er. Months later, he returned to the clinic to get his foreskin pierced. Some people never learn.

The best advise I have for Chris is to get that thing out while he can.
Click to expand...
Okay, we really need a vomiting rating icon, because that may be the most disgusting story I've ever heard.

My question is why the hell would anyone (not just Chris) get one of these?! They sound like a literal pain in the ass (or close enough to it).
 
I think we've officially hit the point of no return here. I know he's done some really really weird/dumb/wtf stuff before, but this? This is like the highest you can reach on the "fucked up shit" scale.
 
Batman VS Tony Danza said:
Wow, so Chris read a thread about his own taint.

And we got it to 18 pages...

Yeah, shut the internet down. We fucked up.
Click to expand...

We'll discuss anything as long as Chris puts his own strange spin on it. We've had dynamic and entertaining discussions about what Chris thinks about Sonic's arm color and chicken wings.

Having direct confirmation from Chris about a taint piercing is like manna from lolcow heaven, except the manna smells like sweaty balls.
 
I feel physically unwell after reading all of this, and my legs are clamped shut harder than a vice grip out of primal fear of what he has done to himself. So um, congrats Chris, and by extension you other posters who have described, in detail, what will happen to him, you have finally broken this dang, dirty troll....

I think I'm going to curl up in a ball in my bed and just try to forget all of this...
 
i'm sorry, but unless there's photographic evidence, (which there very well could be) i refuse to believe this is true. i think this is chris is trying to troll the trolls. piercing your taint is something a cartoon character does, not a somewhat human being. plus if he can't take a necklace touching his neck, how's he gonna take that thing digging into his taint all day?
 
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