Chris turns 40

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

Chris-chan is the Anti Christ.

Theologically Yes,AN anti Christ.
Even without the Mia Hamm saga,we sadly lucked out of the "40 year old virgin" parody posters. Though you could probably do Oedipus Rex posters now.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

No prostate exams begin at 40

Imagine Chris going to his doctor and asking for a female inspection, yet taking a prostate exam instead?

 

[Blewberry Nausea]

Imagine Chris going to his doctor and asking for a female inspection, yet taking a prostate exam instead?

Let’s face it he would see the exam as sexual and imprint on the poor doctor. “Baby daddy fingered me today! UwU”

 

[maguyver16]

Let’s face it he would see the exam as sexual and imprint on the poor doctor. “Baby daddy fingered me today! UwU”

Nah, he hates men, he'd probably call him a molester and use him as an excuse for his DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS

 

[Ophelia]

Nah, he hates men,

He says he does, but he hangs out with them.

 

[Spooky Cloud Strife]

Let’s face it he would see the exam as sexual and imprint on the poor doctor. “Baby daddy fingered me today! UwU”

Nahhh, He´s not the "baby UwU aesthetic cute " type
In that scenario, they are probably 2 options
1. He gets offended by something, calls the doctor a pervert or a loser and tries to dox him
2. He avoids the prostate question due to stress

 

[Cedric_Eff]

For what I know, only the e-mail and all the contents where created by the trolls, but in a incredible plot twist, Chris went to ask his mother about that and It happens that the gal-pals being hired was completely real

So Barb unintentionally leaked info lmao.

 

[Ass Johnson]

Nahhh, He´s not the "baby UwU aesthetic cute " type
In that scenario, they are probably 2 options
1. He gets offended by something, calls the doctor a pervert or a loser and tries to dox him
2. He avoids the prostate question due to stress

I would be surprised if Chris knew what a prostate is, let alone knowing that he would have to get it checked.

 

[cohensd]

I would be surprised if Chris knew what a prostate is, let alone knowing that he would have to get it checked.

He probably thinks he hypnotized it away if he really believes a vagina is growing.

 

[Cr1tiko]

He probably thinks he hypnotized it away if he really believes a vagina is growing.

I mean, that’s how it works, obviously.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

For what I know, only the e-mail and all the contents where created by the trolls, but in a incredible plot twist, Chris went to ask his mother about that and It happens that the gal-pals being hired was completely real

I don’t think they all were. Just the one that walked him to & from the bus but otherwise didn’t interact with him. Maybe Bob & Barb paid them to come to the birthday party but based on their accounts they were trying to white knight him. They weren’t his peers, if anything they were acting somewhat motherly to the awkward nerd everyone else rightfully laughed at. Especially by the other nerds.

My theory is that Barbara was trying to isolate Christian to make him easier to control.

 

[Johnny Eastwood cash]

He may be 40 but mentally he is 5

 

[Ophelia]

He may be 40 but mentally he is 5

But with a fifteen year old’s libido. It’s a horrible combination.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

He may be 40 but mentally he is 5

It still baffles me that the state of VA gave someone the mentality of a 5 year old a license to drive.

 

[Boom Boss]

Imagine spending your 40th birthday in prison. What a fucked up person.

 

[AnOminous]

Imagine spending your 40th birthday in prison. What a fucked up person.

Odds are looking good he spends 41st in jail too.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Imagine spending your 40th birthday in prison. What a fucked up person.

I don't know of anyone who was looking forward to turning 40 while behind bars (unless they were going to serve 25-life for harsher crimes). Chris was unlucky in this regard, but that's what happens when he fucks (literally) around and found out.

Odds are looking good he spends 41st in jail too.

It's always amusing when Chris makes a big deal about his birthday (also Christian Love Day). because he holds a high opinion of himself. If only jail staff lent him a camera to record another Future Message video when he turned 40.

To bad he can't write letters anymore, or he might beg for birthday money. Fuck, I wouldn't be surprised if he instructed Heilberg to be his messenger, since he doesn't know how attorney/client privilege works.

 

[Male Idiot]

Nahhh, He´s not the "baby UwU aesthetic cute " type
In that scenario, they are probably 2 options
1. He gets offended by something, calls the doctor a pervert or a loser and tries to dox him
2. He avoids the prostate question due to stress

He will most likely stress sigh, and relax his bowels, and the poor doctor will have to call the janitor after the exam as Chris leaves behind a DIRTY, CRAPPED doctor's table.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I don’t think they all were. Just the one that walked him to & from the bus but otherwise didn’t interact with him. Maybe Bob & Barb paid them to come to the birthday party but based on their accounts they were trying to white knight him. They weren’t his peers, if anything they were acting somewhat motherly to the awkward nerd everyone else rightfully laughed at. Especially by the other nerds.

My theory is that Barbara was trying to isolate Christian to make him easier to control.

The one gal-pal who got paid was when Chris was in middle school; the HS gal-pals were probably paid by Borb, or the high school principal set it up in exchange to add 'volunteer' to the girls' records.

But your theory is spot on on Barb wanting to isolate Chris so she can control him better. She's been successful until Chris finally knew her powers over him were gone.

 

[Jack Awful]

It still baffles me that the state of VA gave someone the mentality of a 5 year old a license to drive.

Depending on the area, driving tests can be absolute jokes.