Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[Cuntflaps]

It's a pity he latched on the Bible first, I'd love to have seen the glorious shit storm if he had gone the Koran route and declared himself the Second Coming of Muhammed, complete with comics of Burkachu since they loose their shit over drawn dipictions.
AngryMuslims protesting outside Embassys waving pictures of Chris and burning Sonichu effiges, we really missed out on something special.

What if Islam is unironically the only way to save Chris? It hasn't been tried yet!

 

[Linako 2.0]

I think Chris immediately imprints from whatever media he is given to consume. If they gave him an Ayn Rand book he would declare himself John Sonichu Galt. If they gave him the Communist Manifesto he would start spouting shit about workers of the world rise up (and fuck your mothers). I shudder to think what the results would be if they gave him a copy of Mein Kampf or the Koran?

The communist manifesto would probably be easy to digest since it's relativley short and is nothing but whining about how the world is unfair without offering solutions, Chris could probably read it.

Mein Kampf is long, and depending in the translation he won't get past the thousand footnotes and forwards by different people and would get bored since the forst half is more of an autobiography diacussing Hitler's upringing in Austria and Vienna. He would never get far because it won't be what he expects it to be.

The Koran he could probably go through but I haven't read it to know how he'd react, but since it's unfamiliar and probably a dry translation he'd get bored amd drop it.

 

[Male Idiot]

The communist manifesto would probably be easy to digest since it's relativley short and is nothing but whining about how the world is unfair without offering solutions, Chris could probably read it.

Mein Kampf is long, and depending in the translation he won't get past the thousand footnotes and forwards by different people and would get bored since the forst half is more of an autobiography diacussing Hitler's upringing in Austria and Vienna. He would never get far because it won't be what he expects it to be.

The Koran he could probably go through but I haven't read it to know how he'd react, but since it's unfamiliar and probably a dry translation he'd get bored amd drop it.

The revelations of Good Mustache Uncle would be way above his mental paygrade.

 

[Ophelia]

What about The Art of the Deal?

 

[Linako 2.0]

What about The Art of the Deal?

Eid Pmurf Eid

 

[AnOminous]

The communist manifesto would probably be easy to digest since it's relativley short and is nothing but whining about how the world is unfair without offering solutions, Chris could probably read it.

Leaving him in solitary with nothing but Das Kapital would lead to a madman the likes of which has never been seen before.

 

[I'mma real anime gurl]

Would the Unabomber essays have any effect on him?

 

[Ophelia]

Would the Unabomber essays have any effect on him?

He would not be able to understand them.

 

[Uncle Meat]

If we're going to send him something to read, send him some Wm S Burroughs. Show him what REAL hallucinations are like.

 

[Floralfeline]

He's taken a genetic test before. It returned normal XY.

Really? That's surprising. His XY is still fucked though.

 

[HeilDave]

The communist manifesto would probably be easy to digest since it's relativley short and is nothing but whining about how the world is unfair without offering solutions, Chris could probably read it.

Mein Kampf is long, and depending in the translation he won't get past the thousand footnotes and forwards by different people and would get bored since the forst half is more of an autobiography diacussing Hitler's upringing in Austria and Vienna. He would never get far because it won't be what he expects it to be.

The Koran he could probably go through but I haven't read it to know how he'd react, but since it's unfamiliar and probably a dry translation he'd get bored amd drop it.

How about The Prince? It would great to see him even more confident in his powers of manipulation.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Would the Unabomber essays have any effect on him?

It's a interesting thought experiment...

He would not be able to understand them.

... but we'd end up with "Go Kazinzkichu go blast to the extreme" and him missing the point of the whole essay, and how Chris is arguably the end result of the system Ted was at odds with.

Really? That's surprising. His XY is still fucked though.

It was only a 23and me sorta deal, I'm not sure if they flag up that sort of thing I think they mostly and only look up the ancestral parts of the DNA sequence, but I am guessing that if there was something really fucky with the DNA they would send a email or something saying "Hey something odd's cropped up with your test can you give us a call" but knowing how litigeious the enviroment they are working in is they could just limmit it to strictly providing ancestry data.

 

[NynchLiggers]

He would not be able to understand them.

That book that linked him to Warhol explicitly portrayed him in a negative light and he did not understand this fact, Imagine with writings that do not mention him at all.

 

[Rapechu]

Someone send him a copy of Dune so he can become the Kwisatz Haderach. Except instead of spice, he'll be smuggling cocaine in his ass.

 

[HeilDave]

Would the Unabomber essays have any effect on him?

Unabomber is too logical, too intelligent, too thorough for Chris. He needs airy-fairy nonsense where he can pick up the main idea and lazily imagine the rest and be right. I'm talking something that promises the world if you just believe hard enough. If you don't get what you want, it's because you don't believe enough and if you do, then the tek is working.

I'd love to see him get into The Secret though. He's already came to the same conclusion independently (everything I want should just come to me because I want it), so it would be great to see him rip off some rituals and further deify himself.

Ideally followed with a Dianetics master course. Tell me this super power manual isn't right up his alley.



Side note: it's amazing how well Ted predicted the current woketopia, and twittard mindset in general

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Really? That's surprising. His XY is still fucked though.

Chris all man. He's very masculine and hairy, he just shaves everything, but you can still see tons of stubble on video. He has thin extremities because of sedentary lifestyle and hypotonia, which is common in autism. Basically, he looks like a hideous rock monster, which is common in men who have hypermasculine features. Which is probably significant of overexposure to testosterone in utero. This overexposure probably caused his autism. Overexposure to testosterone is not advantageous in an evolutionary context. It makes you really, really ugly and unapproachable.

 

[HeilDave]

Chris all man. He's very masculine and hairy, he just shaves everything, but you can still see tons of stubble on video. He has thin extremities because of sedentary lifestyle and hypotonia, which is common in autism. Basically, he looks like a hideous rock monster, which is common in men who have hypermasculine features. Which is probably significant of overexposure to testosterone in utero. This overexposure probably caused his autism. Overexposure to testosterone is not advantageous in an evolutionary context. It makes you really, really ugly and unapproachable.

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I think this is from the theory that considers autists to be hypermasculine with an "extreme male brain"? Kinda makes it extra funny that he thinks he's a woman.

As for genetic testing, the CWCki says he did 23&me twice. By the second time they had changed their policies about adding Jewish percentage, as well as reporting genetic diseases you may be susceptible to. The actual DNA testing is decent for saying what is in the DNA, it's just the anthropology of ancient peoples that's lacking. They go off mitochondrial DNA (passed unmixed via the mother) and Y-chromosomal DNA if male. This ignores the vast majority of your ancestors, and ancient DNA (stored safely in ear bones) is still being mapped. Genetically though, there's no way Chris has an extra chromosome or they would have told him about it at least once.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I think this is from the theory that considers autists to be hypermasculine with an "extreme male brain"? Kinda makes it extra funny that he thinks he's a woman.

Yes, it makes it even funnier or ironic that morons claim that he's always been a girl when he looks and acts the way he does....especially when he raped his mother with his male appendage, which resembles a cheeto.

 

[Linako 2.0]

How about The Prince? It would great to see him even more confident in his powers of manipulation.

He would have trouble understanding the historical refrences so he'd try to self insert Sonic and Neptunia characters to fill the mile wide gaps.
He could maybe understand a bit of what diplomacy is thanks to ideaguys taking control of CWCville lore for a while.
He would try to act more diplomatic like an embassador of the dimensional merge and just fail miserably.

 

[Rapechu]

This is a guy whose imaginary friends are pokemon. I seriously doubt he could read anything with any gravity and understand it. Maybe if there was a My Little Pony episode entitled "it's not okay to pretend to be Jesus to get out of prison for raping your mother" then it would be on his level. Then again, I remember that one troll wrote a (real, full-length) novel basically about a creepy retard (an obvious stand-in for Chris) who became president and made the world an awful place and sent it to Chris to read but Chris missed the point entirely and thought it was about Trump.