Chris's Current Match.com Profile

[Anchuent Christory]

I am an all round, emotionally mature.....

He got the all round part right at least.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

Chris still doesnt realize that British=English,

Just want to say this is incorrect. Britain is the large land mass made up of Scotland, Wales and England. Northern Ireland is not part of Britain but is part of the United Kingdom and geographically is part of the British Isles. I don't expect people outside the UK to know this stuff but if you ever meet a Scotsman or Welshman you can call them British but I'd strongly advise against calling them English. Definitely shouldn't call an Irishman English, they're a bit touchy about that.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Kinda. He doesn't really know what a billion is. His sense of scale is shit. He might've just said he had a bajillion fans and it would've meant the same thing to Chris.

That is true... but does he still believe he's world famous? Or has reality sunk in and he realizes "If I were so famous, why is everyone ignoring me???"

I think he's kind of fuzzy on what his fandase is like. He'll probably tell different stories depending on who he's talking to and what he'd want them to think. If he does think his fandase is huge, he'd probably just say he doesn't have many in Charlottesville.

Whatever he thinks about this, I don't think he thinks about it that often. He's mostly concerned with getting his sweetheart and reliving high school. Oh, and how everyone in Charlottesville and Ruckersville are rude assholes for not taking time out of their day to talk to him and give him asspats.

When dealing with issues such as this, I always remind myself that Chris works with the mind of a child. When Chris was playing Mr. Comic-book-maker, he said he had a bajillion fans, and in the moment, he honestly believed that. He hasn't really stopped believing that, per se, but he's not playing that game any longer, so he no longer tries to understand his fandase. It's unimportant because the game is over. When someone asks him about Sonichu, sometimes he feels like playing the game again, so he dusts off his belief that he's world-famous. Sometimes he'd rather play a different game, and he observes how no one knows him. It's not like Chris is suddenly understanding how wrong he was, it's just that he's substituted one set of delusions for another.

Adults don't understand this, because for us, the reality we live in doesn't change depending on our mood.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Chris still doesnt realize that British=English,

Just want to say this is incorrect. Britain is the large land mass made up of Scotland, Wales and England. Northern Ireland is not part of Britain but is part of the United Kingdom and geographically is part of the British Isles. I don't expect people outside the UK to know this stuff but if you ever meet a Scotsman or Welshman you can call them British but I'd strongly advise against calling them English. Definitely shouldn't call an Irishman English, they're a bit touchy about that.

It's actually English=British.

The closest approximation to the UK is arguably the US, where you have a number of regions (states in your case) who have a degree of autonomy in their policies but are ultimately part of a larger country, only the US has a much greater shared identity and is unquestionably one, single country.

Pretty much any, Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person actually wouldn't take much offense at all at being called English because in virtually any situation where this would happen it would be an honest mistake; think of a Canadian coming over to the UK and people assuming he's American just going by his accent, same sort of thing.
(sperg over)

In Chris' example here, it's likely just him getting hung up on details and communicating them badly. He's probably saying "I'm part British, specifically English".
What actually annoys me more is the way Chris claims ethnicity based on the most tenuous of links; him claiming to be "Native American/Caucasian" is just plain incorrect, and the less said about his supposed English and French ancestry he pulled out his ass the better.
Imagine if a woman of Native American descent actually got in touch with him and genuinely asked him about his heritage? The sort of shit he's come out with would be enormously offensive.

 

[The Mackers]

Pretty much any, Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person actually wouldn't take much offense at all at being called English because in virtually any situation where this would happen it would be an honest mistake; think of a Canadian coming over to the UK and people assuming he's American just going by his accent, same sort of thing.
(sperg over)

Sorry, this isn't exactly true, most would mind!

ref. - being Irish

 

[Picklepower]

Whatever Chris knows about Native Americans, is whatever he has learned from old Looney Tunes, cartoons.

 

[LordCustos3]

His Interests.
Did he just click every checkbox?
Also, "Playing Cards" means Poker or Gin Rummy....not Yugioh, you twit!

Political Views:
"Middle of the Road"
BULLSHIT! You righttard tool!

Favorite Things:
"Sonichu and Rosechu"
Nobody but you and 30 other spergs even know what that is. Even bringing it up will lead to GOOGLE RESULTS you want your prey to IGNORE.



More About Him.

Appearance:
"About Average"
For a manatee. Sure.

Eyes:
"Blue"
It must've killed him that "One is Blue and One is Green" wasn't an option.

Occupation/Income:
"I'll Tell You Later"
Bwahahahahaha!!!
I'll tell you right after you fall into my clutches.

Education:
"Bachelors Degree"
BULLSHIT! You remedial toilet-training dropout!

Profile Pic #3
Good lord, It's Auntie Edna-Mae....and she's been hitting the Shnapps hard again! You can tell.

 

[Midnight Kissy Bull]

Pretty much any, Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person actually wouldn't take much offense at all at being called English because in virtually any situation where this would happen it would be an honest mistake; think of a Canadian coming over to the UK and people assuming he's American just going by his accent, same sort of thing.
(sperg over)

Sorry, this isn't exactly true, most would mind!

ref. - being Irish

If I ever visit the UK, I'll just refer to everyone as a human. And with my luck, I'll offend an Otherkin.

 

[Sakamoto]

Political Views:
"Middle of the Road"
BULLSHIT! You righttard tool!

He voted for Obama. "Middle of the road" politically is one of his more honest answers as Chris probably doesn't give a shit about politics unless his tugboat might be in danger.

 

[CalmMyTits]

cwcvilleguardian? Yeah, Chris is still living in his fantasies. There's nothing wrong with sharing your creations to an extent, like saying you're the author/creator of X, but X has to be pretty cool. Not Sonichu.

"Bless me with your sweetness and I will so what I can for you"

... Seriously, this is your pick-up line???

"Body type, about average"

HAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Good listener"

Yeah right

Sweetheart/future wife description... Chris, you described the polar opposite of yourself. All the traits you want for her, you have none yourself.

Meet me description... Yeah I'm not surprised here. Of course the woman has to do all the work. It's okay if you say you're paranoid (I am, as well) but you described yourself and how you want women to meet you in such an off-putting way. If you want to say you're paranoid, do so in a much better/more tactful way.

Interests... Volunteering? HAHA. Antiques? You mean shopping at Goodwill with Mommy? Coffee and conversation? You mean your constant pauses for lack of anything interesting to say? Museums and art? Have you ever been to an actual museum?

"Creati9ng artwork"

For that to be true, you'd have to still be producing your comics (or anything else) and no, legos don't count. As for your hang-out spots... nothing necessarily wrong with these, but as they're your ONLY hang-out spots...

"Bachelor's degree"

Bah!

As for the income thing, LOL. This is a huge red flag, asking for a girl to have a 50K plus income when he himself doesn't even make 15K a year via tugboat. He didn't even put in artist for his occupation, so that kind of contradicts the part in his bio about being the creator of Sonichu.

Also, I noticed he said he was a member of his church... didn't he bawwwwwquit???

Even if I didn't know who Chris-Chan was, I would not contact this person because there's just so many things wrong with his profile.

 

[The Mackers]

Pretty much any, Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person actually wouldn't take much offense at all at being called English because in virtually any situation where this would happen it would be an honest mistake; think of a Canadian coming over to the UK and people assuming he's American just going by his accent, same sort of thing.
(sperg over)

Sorry, this isn't exactly true, most would mind!

ref. - being Irish

If I ever visit the UK, I'll just refer to everyone as a human. And with my luck, I'll offend an Otherkin.

I'll recommend that! It's actually GAME OVER, MAN! if you called about half of people from Northern Ireland Irish too.
I'd go with Homosapians, or Homos for short

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Political Views:
"Middle of the Road"
BULLSHIT! You righttard tool!

He voted for Obama. "Middle of the road" politically is one of his more honest answers as Chris probably doesn't give a shit about politics unless his tugboat might be in danger.

His political beliefs, like everything else about him, is incredibly screwed up. He voted for Obama because he identified with him more than with McCain (yeah, and being an American man is about as much as Obama and OPL have in common). I doubt he really knows about Obama's political positions, though.

Well, at least OPL's personal ad isn't as bad as David Tanny's

 

[DykesDykesChina]

I think I remember this profile was posted already some time ago... his self-description "heterosexual tomgirl artist" cracks me up. Can we make this a forum rank?

But it looks like he deleted the "IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS" thing. Chris is learning. At a glacial pace, sure, but nonetheless learning.

 

[For The Internet]

I usually refer to people from Ireland as 'Northerners' and 'Southerners' (and Ireland itself in terms of the north and the south), but no matter what you call them you're going to piss off one group or another.

I can understand income being 'I'll tell you later', but if you do that at least ask for the other person to be within the same financial range as you or lower.

 

[soIregistered]

"Emotionally mature". Yeah, no. "About average" You have breasts. "Heterosexual, tomgirl artist". Only one sentence in, and you're already fuck-kryptonite to the entire world, but do go on.

 

[iggleton]

I usually refer to people from Ireland as 'Northerners' and 'Southerners' (and Ireland itself in terms of the north and the south), but no matter what you call them you're going to piss off one group or another.

Yea that's what I do too, but 'Southerners' tend to get pissed off when I do that, or when I call it 'the South', 'the Republic', or the 'Free state'. Pretty much every single one of the terms Northern nationalists use to describe the south of the island. You really can't win. I think I'm generally pretty much laid back about it, you can call me British, Irish or Northern Irish because all are accurate to a certain extent. The one thing that would irk me would be being called English,not because I hate the English but just because England is so different from Northern Ireland. They don't even accept our sterling notes even though it's the same currency!

 

[DH3000]

Political Views:
"Middle of the Road"
BULLSHIT! You righttard tool!

He voted for Obama. "Middle of the road" politically is one of his more honest answers as Chris probably doesn't give a shit about politics unless his tugboat might be in danger.

His political beliefs, like everything else about him, is incredibly screwed up. He voted for Obama because he identified with him more than with McCain (yeah, and being an American man is about as much as Obama and OPL have in common). I doubt he really knows about Obama's political positions, though.

He must have decided preserving his tugboat was more important than Obama supporting the homos.

Also adding "full-figured" to the type of women he's seeking is a step in the right direction.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

He actually supports gay marriage, but just for lesbians. He likes DYKES but not gay men. Bizarre, I know.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

He actually supports gay marriage, but just for lesbians. He likes DYKES but not gay men. Bizarre, I know.

I keep holding out hope that one day CWC will pen his manifesto. Should make for entertaining reading.

 

[Lady Houligan]

I think I remember this profile was posted already some time ago... his self-description "heterosexual tomgirl artist" cracks me up. Can we make this a forum rank?

If so I want it so badly.

Back on topic though... Seriously, did he not look at ANYONE ELSE'S profile or did he just strive for a TRUE AND HONEST one?