Chris's New Facebook Statuses

[Alec Benson Leary]

I think he's jealous that one of the few people he counts as a friend has her own problems.

This sentence... wow. Never thought of it that way, but I think that yes, Chris is very jealous of other people not just for having good things in their lives... but problems, too. Because Chris is the only one allowed to have problems, you see. If other people's lives aren't perfect, then how can Chris claim to be the most persecuted soul in the land? He knows he can't.

Compare this to his status updates in the past, the autism tutorial, and other places where he's bitched about how other people are "snooty" for walking around concerned with their own problems/issues instead of dropping all their priorities to come make Chris feel good. It couldn't be more obvious.

You know, is this the first time he ever called himself "poor"? Usually he's been happy enough to just burn through each tugboat as it comes and think no more of it.

I'm pretty sure he means poor as in "poor me", not "I am in a low income bracket".

I think he does mean poor in a financial sense, because Barb probably bitches at him about the bills piling up or something. Of course, Chris can't stop buying expensive video games and toys. If one of us was having a tough financial time, we'd have to forgo that cool toy we wanted so we can make sure we can pay the bills and feed ourselves. But Chris? Well, he's entitled to whatever toys he wants, no matter if the house is falling down around him. This goes back to his "only I have real problems" schtick. Only Chris actually deserves toys and games because he needs them to comfort himself from the suffering he's endured. To that end, only Chris deserves to have that wealthy supermodel wife, because in addition to fucking/coddling him, her presence in his household would mean he never has to hear about bills again.

And the 10th anniversary of his Love Quest's genesis.

I plan to raise my glass and wish Chris another ten years of glorious hunting.

Did I say hunting? I meant waiting. Glorious waiting.

Who's trolling?

THIS. Talking critically about something is not trolling.

Anything that reminds Chris of a reality he doesn't like is trolling. Anyone who grabs the last copy of the new Sonic game they really wanted from the store shelf minutes before Chris gets there is a troll. Anyone who doesn't give him what he wants no matter the expense to themselves is a troll.

I mean, after he harrassed the Wallflower and ruined her experience at their social group, and very nearly turned her into a trolling target (which was only stalled because WE have decency that Chris lacks)... He demanded an apology from her because his bullshit scheme didn't turn out the exact way he wanted. That really says it all right there.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

You know ... outside of his paranoia, Chris may be referring to the time he got suckered by the "CWC 2012" campaign.

That was fun.

Nevar Fergit

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^Ha ha, "THIS IS THE ENEMY"

 

[harvey dirdban]

I think he's jealous that one of the few people he counts as a friend has her own problems.

This sentence... wow. Never thought of it that way, but I think that yes, Chris is very jealous of other people not just for having good things in their lives... but problems, too. Because Chris is the only one allowed to have problems, you see. If other people's lives aren't perfect, then how can Chris claim to be the most persecuted soul in the land? He knows he can't.

Compare this to his status updates in the past, the autism tutorial, and other places where he's bitched about how other people are "snooty" for walking around concerned with their own problems/issues instead of dropping all their priorities to come make Chris feel good. It couldn't be more obvious.

I think, also, he's jealous because things like debt are "adult" problems and deep down he knows he'll never be a real adult.

 

[Marvin]

I think he's jealous that one of the few people he counts as a friend has her own problems.

This sentence... wow. Never thought of it that way, but I think that yes, Chris is very jealous of other people not just for having good things in their lives... but problems, too. Because Chris is the only one allowed to have problems, you see. If other people's lives aren't perfect, then how can Chris claim to be the most persecuted soul in the land? He knows he can't.

Compare this to his status updates in the past, the autism tutorial, and other places where he's bitched about how other people are "snooty" for walking around concerned with their own problems/issues instead of dropping all their priorities to come make Chris feel good. It couldn't be more obvious.

I think, also, he's jealous because things like debt are "adult" problems and deep down he knows he'll never be a real adult.

He doesn't care about being an adult. Plus, he has lots of experience with debt.

 

[punchabunch]

^^ What, besides Bob passing his allowance in the form of Best-Buy Cards? His financhial situation is one of the bigger questions I have of him right now.

 

[Skub]

He doesn't care about being an adult. Plus, he has lots of experience with debt.

I think Chris is obsessed with becoming an adult, he's just too lazy to actually actualize it. In a lot of the earlier videos Chris always reminds me of a kid dressed up like an adult, he's saying things he thinks adults would say and he says he wants things he thinks adults want be he doesn't really have any idea what being an adult is actually about. He wants people to respect him as an adult, but he doesn't have the proper frame of reference to understand what an adult is, and how being an adult involves things like "responsibility" and "working."

 

[Marvin]

^^ What, besides Bob passing his allowance in the form of Best-Buy Cards? His financhial situation is one of the bigger questions I have of him right now.

Chris has had plenty of credit cards in the past.

He doesn't care about being an adult. Plus, he has lots of experience with debt.

I think Chris is obsessed with becoming an adult, he's just too lazy to actually actualize it. In a lot of the earlier videos Chris always reminds me of a kid dressed up like an adult, he's saying things he thinks adults would say and he says he wants things he thinks adults want be he doesn't really have any idea what being an adult is actually about. He wants people to respect him as an adult, but he doesn't have the proper frame of reference to understand what an adult is, and how being an adult involves things like "responsibility" and "working."

He doesn't care about becoming an adult. There are just a bunch of things he wants, like video games and to be lazy.

He wants to be taken care of, like how Barb did for him growing up. And that's also why he wants a wife. So he'll have someone to replace Barb when she dies.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^Why would Chris want to become an adult? "Adults" are the things that take care of Chris. He can't become one of his own caretakers, that's contradictory.

 

[Null]

Chris is always welcome to join our discussions.

 

[Bgheff]

The only times Chris has expressed a desire to be an "adult" are when he's doing it to impress a potential sweetheart or her parents.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

As interesting as it would be to have CWC on the forum, he'd probably misbehave and get banned. Or he'd get JULAYed to oblivion.

 

[DevilDog]

I imagine his reply to this thread would sound something like this. "I AM EXPERIENCED WITH FINANCIAL RESPONSIBLITIES! I have and do use my money to by only Neccisary Items! It is YOU the TROLLS who have Ruined my life! You are nothing but a Bunch of Lying Bastards!"
With him, it's deny, deny, deny. Honestly, what would he do if we all vanished? After he finished celebrating, he'd have no one to blame stuff on. Maybe manajerks or Megan, actually, he'd just remember them as the ones who caused his problems, and he wouldn't remember us at all.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

^The thing is, Chris can't participate in any forum, let alone this one, because he treats them all as one-way communication. When he comes onto a forum, he makes one post broadcasting his orders, and then never checks back to see if/how anyone responded. Ironically, he has a far higher chance of reading anyone's words to him by doing what he does now, which is lurk and screencap without speaking himself.

 

[Marvin]

Honestly, what would he do if we all vanished? After he finished celebrating, he'd have no one to blame stuff on. Maybe manajerks or Megan, actually, he'd just remember them as the ones who caused his problems, and he wouldn't remember us at all.

Heh, well, we never could vanish, that's the thing. Megan and all the villains in his life aren't just bad guys to him, they're specifically trolls. Megan's the leader of the trolls, as far as he believes.

 

[CatParty]

^The thing is, Chris can't participate in any forum, let alone this one, because he treats them all as one-way communication. When he comes onto a forum, he makes one post broadcasting his orders, and then never checks back to see if/how anyone responded. Ironically, he has a far higher chance of reading anyone's words to him by doing what he does now, which is lurk and screencap without speaking himself.

because joining in a discussion wouldn't help his loneliness and "depression" at all

 

[UltraSonichu]

^Why would Chris want to become an adult? "Adults" are the things that take care of Chris. He can't become one of his own caretakers, that's contradictory.

This. I think Chris wants to be seen and respected as an adult, because it's emasculating to him to not feel like one of the big boys. But at the same time, he craves being taken care of and babied and not having any responsibilities. Having his cake and eating it, essentially.

 

[Jimmy Jazz]

^Why would Chris want to become an adult? "Adults" are the things that take care of Chris. He can't become one of his own caretakers, that's contradictory.

because it's emasculating to him

Like this?

 

[Cwckifan]

^Why would Chris want to become an adult? "Adults" are the things that take care of Chris. He can't become one of his own caretakers, that's contradictory.

So he has one more thing to hold over the head of his detractors? Granted, real adults are too concerned with their personal, professional, financial and social obligations to care about what someone who isn't a friend, family member, healthcare adviser, or client\boss says about them, but this is Chris we're talking about here. Also, I hear that adults get to do a lot of sex, order people around, and do whatever they want, whenever they want, so that's cool too

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

That one video where he was poorly impersonating various comedians, he had Jerry Seinfeld say (about himself) "hey, take a look at this teenager here" or something. At the time he made the video, he was like 29, but he apparently has it ingrained in his head that he is essentially still a teenager. I think he wants to be a teenager forever because they are the ideal age group to him - they get to be treated with respect instead of being talked down to like young children, but teenagers don't have to have full-time jobs or manage their own finances or anything. Also, teens can be a lot more carefree about what kinds of junk they eat, since their metabolisms are a lot more forgiving than those of grown adults. Also, of course, teens can have sex. Basically, it's the sweet spot of maximum entitlement and minimum responsibility in Chris's eyes.