Chrissey's Peerage?

[Hyperion]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything. He's still a nobody living in a garbage dump who can't do anything or get anything he wants. Isn't that more relevant?

He's not just royalty, he's related to one of the sluts King Henry VIII ran through in his insane love quest.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything.

It fits in exactly with his mindset that you're great because of what you are, not what you do.
The autistic wrinkle that he adds to it is that doing something just once is enough to make it "what you are", but that's neither here nor there.

More than that, Chris thinks the most important thing is what he, Christian Weston Chandler, is. In his mind, the world's function is to understand and appreciate his greatness. He would never give the same consideration for anyone else. I could be Abraham Lincoln's great nephew, an NFL all-star, and the physician who cured cerebral palsy, and Chris's only reaction would be "Hm. Yeah."

 

[Chris_R]

Is it too late to dig up Anne Bolyn's grave and do a DNA test?

 

[Hyperion]

Is it too late to dig up Anne Bolyn's grave and do a DNA test?

We'd be better off digging up Patti and looking for Chandler DNA, if you know what I mean

 

[Lefty's Revenge]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything. He's still a nobody living in a garbage dump who can't do anything or get anything he wants. Isn't that more relevant?

Ehh. I feel like you could argue that for alot of people who claim all sorts of royal or noble lineage.

But in general this is kinda Chris' modus operandi. Remember during the Father Call when Kacey's Father asked him about what hes done and he started babbling about his father's time in the millitary? Chris does nothing nor has he ever done anything so he brags about the accomplishments of those associated with him. Perfect example was that thing with Justine Sacco (sp?). No mentally healthy person could want Chris right now so he finds this one off kilter tweet that vaguely suggests that this woman has a subconscious desire to have sex with an autistic person and takes that and boasts as if it had anything in the world to do with him.

Chris also has identity issues. Like I said he does nothing and, forgive the tones here, doesn't really matter to the world around him in the grand scheme of things. He doesn't stand on his own in any way shape or form. He hasn't developed a true personality or any sort of meaning for his life. So he clings on to things like a supposedly royal lineage, being Cherokee, being autistic, and of course Sonichu. Its actually rather common he's just 31, autistic, and stupid.

For example, when I was like 11 or 12 I started going by a nickname. Lets say for arguements sake it was "Revenge". Sure I liked being called "Revenge" but there was more going on there. Lefty was the lame kid who was clumsy, goofy, fat, and unclever. But "Revenge" was smart, quick witted and charismatic. While I didn't openly realize it Revenge was at first something of an Alter Ego. In time he became who I wanted to be. Whereas Lefty was who I currently was. One day in the not too distant past I realized that the two had become one. Lefty was Revenge and who I wanted be was who I am.

Chris attempted something like this with Sonichu. Sure, Sonichu is supposed to be his "Son". But in time Chris began to identify as Sonichu even if not overtly. Thats why he was able to speak to and for Sonichu during the Mary Lee Walsh situation. Sonichu's arrival is timely as Chris was getting ready to graduate HS and enter the real world. At this point Chris had spent zero time developing his personality. All he did was play vidya. So naturally, he took that and tried to make a personality out of it and face the real world like that. Problem is the real world doesn't function like this and Sonichu for all intents and purposes is in fact dead.


Theres more to it but I've already sperged long enough about this.

 

[Scuttle456]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything. He's still a nobody living in a garbage dump who can't do anything or get anything he wants. Isn't that more relevant?

He's not just royalty, he's related to one of the sluts King Henry VIII ran through in his insane love quest.

Henry VIII and Chris-Chan have a lot in common... perhaps he is related to one of Henry's whores...

Sir Thomas More and the Pope of the day may be the distant ancestors of Mary Lee Walsh.... they like her did everything possible to frustrate the "Love Quest" of a mean smelly fatso with entitlement issues....

 

[Marvin]

He's not, contrary to what he believes, descended from anyone interesting. Barb's family, as far records could go, show that her side is all hicks from the hills of Virginia. Bob, on the other hand, could've had a black ancestor (possibly a slave), and used "Cherokee" as a cover because of the stigma of being a black man in the South in his time.

That's a possibility, but indian ancestry in the south is genuinely pretty common.

No, fake Indian ancestry by part-niggos is common

Well yeah, that's common too, but genuine indian DNA is also pretty common in the south.

 

[DangDirtyTrolls]

I don't get why Chris thinks his fantasy of royal lineage makes any difference to anything. He's still a nobody living in a garbage dump who can't do anything or get anything he wants. Isn't that more relevant?

It's like how he always goes on about that damn plastic funnel thing Bob invented that saved the world, he has to latch on to the achievements of others because he hasn't done anything with his own life worthy of bragging rights.

 

[Pikonic]

It's all lies

Not necessarily CatParty...It could be that Anne Boleyn had a tryst with some other lord, thus producing Chris' ancestor... Perhaps the "trumped up charges" of adultery against Anne were true after all...

Personally though, if I were to "make up" an ancestor from tudor times it would be Thomas More !!

It's one thing to have a bastard nobody knew about back then, if you were a man. Women having unknown bastards is .....tricky.
Anne had one childless daughter. She can't have any descendants today.

 

[The Knife]

No, fake Indian ancestry by part-niggos is common

Well yeah, that's common too, but genuine indian DNA is also pretty common in the south.

It's really both. For one, a lot of Southern NA tribes adopted runaway slaves, so there's black families with NA relatives and white families who've been passing so long they've forgotten they were originally covering up something. For another, that thing about lying about the black guy in the family and calling it NA is really prevalent. I thought for years that my family was lying about it. Then I found out my bio-dad was Choctaw and I have half-siblings out on a rez.

My thing with Chris, though...does he even know who Anne Boleyn is?

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

In one of the dating sites where Chris put up his profile, apart from listing Cherokee he also listed being part French.
Does anyone know or has any idea why he would think he's part French?
I can't think of any reason.
I believed he didn't like the French much actually, since he changed Ivy's rosechu's name because to him it sounded too French.

 

[Marvin]

As far as Chris' Anne Boleyn nonsense goes, the understanding that I have is that Chris claimed he was like a descendent ultimately of a cousin or some shit of her. Which is correct so far as you could trace half of asia to one genetic family tree. Chris could be correct in his claims, or he could be false, but either way, it's a really retarded claim and no reasonable person should give a shit about that kind of relation.

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

 

[Foulmouth]

As far as Chris' Anne Boleyn nonsense goes, the understanding that I have is that Chris claimed he was like a descendent ultimately of a cousin or some shit of her. Which is correct so far as you could trace half of asia to one genetic family tree. Chris could be correct in his claims, or he could be false, but either way, it's a really retarded claim and no reasonable person should give a shit about that kind of relation.

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

How dare you say such a thing Marvin ! I am descended from the second fish to crawl from the sea and I'm damn proud of it !

 

[Stuff and Things]

As far as Chris' Anne Boleyn nonsense goes, the understanding that I have is that Chris claimed he was like a descendent ultimately of a cousin or some shit of her. Which is correct so far as you could trace half of asia to one genetic family tree. Chris could be correct in his claims, or he could be false, but either way, it's a really retarded claim and no reasonable person should give a shit about that kind of relation.

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

Exactly, that kind of heritage is only worth it if you actually inherit a title or something, there are several persons in the world that are descendents of the british royal family, but none of them are being taken in account, chris only said that because it's one of the closest things to an accomplishment in his life that he will ever have... too bad that it's a lie.

 

[Hyperion]

As far as Chris' Anne Boleyn nonsense goes, the understanding that I have is that Chris claimed he was like a descendent ultimately of a cousin or some shit of her. Which is correct so far as you could trace half of asia to one genetic family tree. Chris could be correct in his claims, or he could be false, but either way, it's a really retarded claim and no reasonable person should give a shit about that kind of relation.

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

How dare you say such a thing Marvin ! I am descended from the second fish to crawl from the sea and I'm damn proud of it !

That guy owed an ancestor of mine some money. Time to pay up, chump.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

Months of personal genealogy work rendered null and void by Marvin.

 

[Foulmouth]

As far as Chris' Anne Boleyn nonsense goes, the understanding that I have is that Chris claimed he was like a descendent ultimately of a cousin or some shit of her. Which is correct so far as you could trace half of asia to one genetic family tree. Chris could be correct in his claims, or he could be false, but either way, it's a really retarded claim and no reasonable person should give a shit about that kind of relation.

Hell, even particularly justifiable descendants are retarded and no one should care past a few family levels. Like say, past your great great grandparents, who the fuck cares? If you didn't inherit a title or some shit, it's worthless and you're bragging about nothing.

How dare you say such a thing Marvin ! I am descended from the second fish to crawl from the sea and I'm damn proud of it !

That guy owed an ancestor of mine some money. Time to pay up, chump.

What, you're one of those holier than thou first fish descendants ? Anyway my lizard ancestor paid that back eons ago.

 

[Pinhead]

So, in short: Chris's peerage is low, and his loneliness is off the scale.

 

[deeman]

Barb's probably full of shit, but Chris' claim is that he's related to a cousin or something of Anne Boleyn.

It is one of the rednecky-traits to claim anchestral awesomeness in one way or another, mostly 'cuz it's hard to disprove.

 

[milkshark]

Barb's probably full of shit, but Chris' claim is that he's related to a cousin or something of Anne Boleyn.

It is one of the rednecky-traits to claim anchestral awesomeness in one way or another, mostly 'cuz it's hard to disprove.

It's kind of funny that Chris claims he's related to a Queen presumably beheaded for failing to produce a son. Considering Christian's "son" Sonichu is imaginary and he wasn't much of a son himself to the Borb, being tomgirl and all.

Generally I dislike when folks want to explain their heritage to me. It's usually average people who are trying to make themselves seem interesting, and their claims of having exciting ancestry aren't proven, just remarked upon. Chris loves to brag, he loves to point out how unique and special he is and it never really benefits him. I bet almost everyone he tells about his Cherokee/English royalty pedigree reacts like I do, which is not giving a shit at all and remaining skeptical about its validity.