Chris'tard's Next "Persona"

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milkshark said:
It looks like Chris wears a small waist size in pants because he lets his belly flop over the waistline. Fat dudes usually buy pants that cover all that flop, and are much more comfortable for it. Chris is probably trying to wear tight jeans, so women will notice his CUTE BUTT.
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I was always under the assumption that Chris was somehow wearing women's jeans - even pre-tomgirl. Especially the classic pics of him in his bedroom where he's showing off his butt for whatever reason. They don't look like guys jeans.
 
milkshark said:
It looks like Chris wears a small waist size in pants because he lets his belly flop over the waistline. Fat dudes usually buy pants that cover all that flop, and are much more comfortable for it. Chris is probably trying to wear tight jeans, so women will notice his CUTE BUTT.
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Pft, as a fat guy it's way more comfortable to wear my pants below my flab. The reason guys pull them up is because it makes them look not as fat, it's also mindbogglingly uncomfortable when you sit down.
 
I can picture Chris buying a bunch of clothes made for teenagers in an attempt to like hip. Or buying a bunch of hipster clothes. I pray to GodBear hoping that he'll buy more undersized rugby shirts.
 
Maybe more shirts with old cartoons and video games he's nostalgic about which would have an unintentional hipster vibe.
 
I can't think of anything besides an estranged homeless person, or estranged neighbor in his redneck community. Depends on if he can keep a place of residence, which we all know is up in the air right now.
 
He'll probably start calling himself Barb and dress like her once she hits the bucket
 
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No, he's been doing that for a while now.
 
Coldgrip said:
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No, he's been doing that for a while now.
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Well, there's always scalping her corpse and pretending he died in some mind bogglingly bizarre way to get the trolls off his back that nobody will fall for.
 
Chris Chan becomes the next Ed Wood and makes several low budget movies, among them being a semi autobiographical story about a Tomgirl named Crystal Weston Chandler that he acts, writes, and directs with Tommy Wiseau. The end result becomes a film that is a critical flop, but gains a cult following in the process.
 
Anonimo said:
Our Pet Lolcow becomes the next Ed Wood and makes several low budget movies, among them being a semi autobiographical story about a Tomgirl named Crystal Weston Chandler that he acts, writes, and directs with Tommy Wiseau. The end result becomes a film that is a critical flop, but gains a cult following in the process.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't compare him to Tommy Wiseau!
That's really unfair to Tommy Wiseau!
At least the room and similarly received movies by others (like say, birdemic) were funny!bad. Chris' attempts at any deliberate entertainment is just plain boring.
 
Anonimo said:
Our Pet Lolcow becomes the next Ed Wood and makes several low budget movies, among them being a semi autobiographical story about a Tomgirl named Crystal Weston Chandler that he acts, writes, and directs with Tommy Wiseau. The end result becomes a film that is a critical flop, but gains a cult following in the process.
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don't you dare say anything about tommy wiseau
 
CatParty said:
don't you dare say anything about tommy wiseau
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Sorry, I have nothing against Wiseau, I actually like The Room because of it being funny!bad. I was trying to come up with something funny. I was trying to see if I could come up with anything absurd(by Chris standards) and had no idea I would elicit these reactions. Besides, I should've taken into account that Chris already makes bad films anyway.
 
Anonimo said:
Sorry, I have nothing against Wiseau, I actually like The Room because of it being funny!bad. I was trying to come up with something funny. I was trying to see if I could come up with anything absurd(by Chris standards) and had no idea I would elicit these reactions. Besides, I should've taken into account that Chris already makes bad films anyway.
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"What a story Chris!":story:

Auteur-Chris should totally happen. Greg Sistero can totally get involved with another loon and write another book.
 
Given the Wal Mart ban for vandalizing and assuming what Marvin just said about Chris shoplifting is true, would Vandal-Chris or Theif-Chris be a possibility?
 
Chris' next persona? That's a tough one... Since it's only March, he probably hasn't unlocked cross, pentagram, or hexagon fusion yet. He's probably under leveled, too, so if I had to guess I would say Jack Frost with Ice Boost and Dia..
 
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