Christopher Vito Gesualdi / Vito / Vaedophile / CringleJingle / Co-Host of the "The Biggest Problem in the Universe" Reboot - Self-admitted paedophile, least funny comedian, lolicon artist, shotacon consumer, spousal abuser, snuff distributor and pet of Dick "Juju the cow" Masterson. Follows accounts making CGI of teenagers and generates AI images of lolicon hentai covers.

Will physical copies of the fat nonce book be delivered by Halloween (Year 2025 edition)?

  • YES. He will fulfill his promises and Eric July will be epically lynched!

    Votes: 13 4.2%
  • NO. Also he is fat.

    Votes: 298 95.8%

  • Total voters
    311
inb4 Vito has nowhere else to go and has to hang around as a Killstream co-host from now on
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You can use Vito as a template for possible cretins. The more they’re like Vito the more of a cretin they are, and vice versa. It’s called profiling.
 
I was thinking about it and I wonder if this is mostly a tactical move for Dick. That Asmongold guy brought up both him and Null when talking about payment processors. He then considered talking to them both which would be a pretty big promo for Dick. Problem is that as it stands Null and Dick aren't on good terms and Dick Masterson, cool guy that he is, doesn't want to get called "Juju the Cow" in front of a massive audience that could potentially watch his show. So what does he do? Throws Vito under the bus in the hopes that the slobbermutt will be appeased.

Thing about that is Null didn't burn that bridge because of Vito, he did because of Riley and Digibro, who is also a pedophile. If you squint your eyes a little bit you can see how he's trying to sweep some things under the rug. If you haven't followed the whole thing you'd miss it, very subtle.
 
“Dick! maybe me and MrGirl can come round and babysit for you and Marie when the baby is born, I will even wear that Bluey shirt so I can get to know the baby better” - Vedo
 
"I should have sold Vito out a long time ago."

Something about this phrase doesn't sit right with me. Dax wouldn't normally describe himself as a sellout. Is it all a 'werk'? Is it a Freudian slip, because he really is just selling out his former LGBTQPedo ally, now that it's convenient? Or is it really Marie's push to expunge Vito, hoping that her babydaddy will magically become less degenerate?

I guess I think it's #2, he accidentally referred to this as selling out his pedobuddy, saying the quiet part out loud.
 
"I should have sold Vito out a long time ago."

Something about this phrase doesn't sit right with me. Dax wouldn't normally describe himself as a sellout. Is it all a 'werk'? Is it a Freudian slip, because he really is just selling out his former LGBTQPedo ally, now that it's convenient? Or is it really Marie's push to expunge Vito, hoping that her babydaddy will magically become less degenerate?

I guess I think it's #2, he accidentally referred to this as selling out his pedobuddy, saying the quiet part out loud.
It never sat right to me how Vito latched onto Dick's universe. I do remember Vito's introduction, he had (supposedly) bought and vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater that she was selling at the time, and a lot of when the first Vito the Pedo stuff started coming out, the people he was friends with, many people, myself included, thought this was some sort of trolling op, or Vito was just a poor judge of character.

I stopped listening to The Dick Show several years ago but I still listened to WATP, in which Karl befriended Vito and Dick, and around September 2024 Karl said something like "I think Vito might be a lolcow" because Vito and Riley got in some beef when Vito was sperging about something or another. I thought being friends with Vito reflected poorly on Karl (and especially Vinnie, who had the whole "pedo hunters" obsession on The Creep Off, which I have since dropped), but Karl has had a tendency to come around on some of the bigger losers in that universe, distancing himself from people like Digibro, Elisa Jordana, and Ethan Ralph.

As for Marie's influence, I had a crazy theory that it was Sean that was the bad influence (after all, he was the one that exposed Dax to drinking, if not drugs) that despite his calm, collected demeanor that he was the worst one of them of all, and now that he's gone, Dax is finally coming around.

I was thinking about it and I wonder if this is mostly a tactical move for Dick. That Asmongold guy brought up both him and Null when talking about payment processors. He then considered talking to them both which would be a pretty big promo for Dick. Problem is that as it stands Null and Dick aren't on good terms and Dick Masterson, cool guy that he is, doesn't want to get called "Juju the Cow" in front of a massive audience that could potentially watch his show. So what does he do? Throws Vito under the bus in the hopes that the slobbermutt will be appeased.

Thing about that is Null didn't burn that bridge because of Vito, he did because of Riley and Digibro, who is also a pedophile. If you squint your eyes a little bit you can see how he's trying to sweep some things under the rug. If you haven't followed the whole thing you'd miss it, very subtle.
That's an interesting theory but assumes two things that I'm not sure are true or not.
- It assumes he's still on good terms with Digibro, when I don't think that's the case anymore...when was the last time "Trixie" was even on the show?
- It assumes that Dick remembers the reason for the split but Null does not. Who is more likely to remember the real reason? A drug-addled alcoholic, or a paranoid ex-pat who archives everything?
 
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Listening to the argument all the way through, I don't think I've ever had so much genuine hatred towards someone I've never personally met, and I one hundred percent believe that Vito is a manipulative narcissistic abuser based on how he conducted himself throughout, as I will now explain.

1. He never admits to wrongdoing when confronted with legitimate complaints about his conduct. He tries to deflect and justify his shit attitude towards their fans, and when that doesn't work he tries throwing out hollow promises to stop acting like a spaz. That's the behavior of a boyfriend/spouse who's being confronted about habits he knows he can't defend but still wants to engage in, so they throw out superficial promises of change to try and shelve the issue, not because they feel remorse but because they don't want to deal with the stress of being dressed down anymore. On top of that, he pretends to meet them halfway by saying shit like "I can see how you might've seen it that way, but from MY perspective my actions seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

2. He keeps trying to barter with Dax by asking what he needs to do to get back in his good graces. He doesn't intend to actually follow up on requests made of him, because the point of asking him those questions is to give the impression that he's open to change. As we saw, he didn't even try to take Dax's advice to stop being a douchebag to their fans on Twitter and went right back to picking fights after the show.

3. He refuses to respect any boundaries set by Dax. Dax flat out tells him to NEVER call his wife for any reason and is clearly still angry about it, but Vito acts surprised and keeps trying to rationalize his decision to do so. His lack of respect for boundaries extends to his whiney attitude towards not being allowed in the studio anymore, because he feels entitles to be in Dax's orbit whenever he pleases. Speaking of which...

4. He's EXTREMELY needy and entitled. Having to abide by Dax's boundaries is a clear bother for Vito. He's genuinely confused to why someone might take issue with him blowing up their phone for a week because he thinks that being friends means he should have constant access to their time and attention.

5. When all else fails, he tries to manipulate Dax by appealing to his sense of pity. He initially tries to "talk things out," which in Vito speak it means "if I talk to you long enough, eventually I'll stumble onto the right words you want me to say and you won't be mad at me anymore." When Dax doesn't relent, he starts to whine and wane about how he doesn't want the show to end and how much Dick means to him, and how they have such a good thing going with The Biggest Problem, blah blah blah.

ALL of this fits into the category of manipulative and narcissistic, but what about abusive? The answer to that is simple: anyone who listened to that whole back and forth, listen to Vito and tell me you can't perfectly envision him trying to pull that shit on a girlfriend or spouse after doing something heinous. Tell me you can't see him talking with her over the phone and trying to explain that him joking about raping her little sister on his podcast was perfectly cool because he's a comedian and inviting her out to eat so they can "find a middle ground." I always assumed that allegation of him beating on a woman was true, but listening to him on that audio clinched it in my mind. He's the kind of person to cheat on a girl, get frustrated when she won't immediately forgive him, have a tard rage, and then try to smooth things over by trying to convince them that he just doesn't know any better before promising to do better.
 
I realized that Dick mentioned them having a sub-reddit and figured that would have more trashing on Vito. However, instead, I found this strange comment:

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Reddit link

Take this with a grain of salt. It's unnecessarily difficult to verify/falsify this claim seeing as Vito has abandoned his campaign page, his Superkiller Updates account on Twtitter rarely posts anything substantial, I'm certainly not going to watch the entire shitty podcast to verify this, and the most recent livestream has no transcript available, but this is so unbelievably fucked up if true.

It makes me wonder if the reason Vito mentions refunds for the lunchbox bundles is because the lunchbox is no longer going to materialize either, which is insane. All he has to do is find a manufacturer in China through Alibaba that already sells bulk lunchboxes, say "hey, you already manufacture lunchboxes; can you manufacture 141 lunchboxes with my design on it?" until one of them bite.

Hey, look what I found in about 2 minutes. They even manufacture these... by the 24 pack! It's quite literally meant for Vito. Time for some quick maths...

We can see on his crowdfunding page that he sold 141 bundles which include the lunchbox, spread across 3 tiers for a little over $40k total. He can only order them by the 24 pack from that manufacturer, so that's 144 minimum he'd have to order. At $3.87 a lunchbox, you're looking at $558 or so. I'm not going to pretend to know enough about tariffs or freight shipping to guess what they'd be here, but ChatGPT sure can!

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tl;dr: About $156 in tariffs, and anywhere from $417 to $762 for freight shipping. Using the highest figures, that's $1,500 or so total to get everyone their lunchbox.
 
tl;dr: About $156 in tariffs, and anywhere from $417 to $762 for freight shipping. Using the highest figures, that's $1,500 or so total to get everyone their lunchbox.
He's just making sure he finds the best company to handle it before having them made. Top quality material, real steel, molded to his exact specifications, all in the name of giving the best quality lunchbox his customers could possibly ask for, just like his comic. What, you want him to be like Eric July and put out mediocre products just to meet the promised deadline? Sure, his customers might be satisfied with what they get, but he has to live with the shame of knowing that his peers don't respect his work. What good is financial success and a satisfied consumer base when other comic creators don't like you? I'm telling you, once people see Vito's work in full, we'll all be eating crow.
 
- It assumes he's still on good terms with Digibro, when I don't think that's the case anymore...when was the last time "Trixie" was even on the show?
But he still employs / is friends with Riley, who is a disgusting, dysgenic freak who treats a girl with mental issues as a sex product to be used and abused at his will.
 
It wasn't until I had a child that I realized how utterly defenseless they are. Dick would have to be a major psychopath to not have some growth after having a kid.
Yeah, juju is a major psychopath. I'm not sure how much having a kid is going to change that.
is Melton on Dax’s shortlist of replacement cohosts?
He has to be on the shortlist. I mean, juju and pedophiles go together like peanut butter and chocolate. He let Riley hang around despite the fact that he got into a relationship with Mint Salad who was underage at the time, and then there was Digibro, and then he moved on to Vito.

I swear juju gets his guests from the sex offender list.

"I should have sold Vito out a long time ago."

Something about this phrase doesn't sit right with me. Dax wouldn't normally describe himself as a sellout.
I don't believe the term you're thinking of is the one juju is alluding to. I believe he's likely trying to refer to the phrase "sold down the river" which is essentially sticking a knife in someone's back, or betraying them. Normally this would be a terrible thing to do, but there is no evil you can visit upon a pedophile that they don't deserve.
 
But he still employs / is friends with Riley, who is a disgusting, dysgenic freak who treats a girl with mental issues as a sex product to be used and abused at his will.
Well yeah. Best case scenario, Dax's redemption arc still has a long way to go. The more cynical take (which this forum seems to favor) is that throwing Vito under the bus is 100% self-serving behavior and has nothing to do with how rancid Vito is.
 
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