Civ 5 Anonymous

I'm such a noob because I'm still learning all this shit
I'd do a stream so you guys could all scream at me if I hadn't just woken up
If you want people to yell at you for doing things wrong, play as Polynesia. They're one of the best cultural civs if you know what you're doing, but you need to master your micromanagement skills if you want to play them with any competence.

Source: have spent way too much time playing Polynesia. Still only okay with them.
 
If you want people to yell at you for doing things wrong, play as Polynesia. They're one of the best cultural civs if you know what you're doing, but you need to master your micromanagement skills if you want to play them with any competence.

Source: have spent way too much time playing Polynesia. Still only okay with them.

Any recommendations on vanilla civs that are good for a learner? Like I said, I want to play every civ once, but I can't quite decide my favourite.
 
If you want people to yell at you for doing things wrong, play as Polynesia. They're one of the best cultural civs if you know what you're doing, but you need to master your micromanagement skills if you want to play them with any competence.

Source: have spent way too much time playing Polynesia. Still only okay with them.
I won my first victory (cultural) with Polynesia and I just popped Moais everywhere
 
^ I'd say play as England. Thier unique ability is straightforward to understand (naval units move faster), their unique units are simple beefed up units (stronger crossbowman and frigate) and since they have no unique buildings, you learn the normal bonuses in game buildings provide.
 
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^ I'd say play as England. Thier unique ability is straightforward to understand (naval units move faster), their unique units are simple beefed up units (stronger crossbowman and frigate) and since they have no unique buildings, you learn the normal bonuses in game buildings provide.

I took a liking to Glorious Nippon in the two games I rolled as them. Me not being a warmonger, I think I make poor use of their UA, but for the small, focused militaries I usually make it's a major advantage to let me do more with less. Samurai are also available around the time I usually start fighting wars.
 
Any recommendations on vanilla civs that are good for a learner? Like I said, I want to play every civ once, but I can't quite decide my favourite.
If we're talking about civs that are good for teaching beginners, I recommend the Ottomans or the Aztecs. Both are pretty average objectively, so they help beginners learn how to win without the advantages you get from a really good civ. (I.e. China in Vanilla. They got nerfed in the DLC, though) without having too hard of a time winning.

I won my first victory (cultural) with Polynesia and I just popped Moais everywhere
Moai spamming only gets you so far. Once you reach difficulty 4 the blow it does to your GDP can become a huge problem, so you need to find a good balance between making Moais and using resources. The lack in production in cities that have a small enough amount of land for Moais to be really good also means that you can easily start falling behind in the midgame because of other cultural civs taking all the wonders you would want. Polynesia excels early and late game, but has a horrible midgame, which is where most warmongers shine in, so you also need to make a decent army or some impressive diplomacy skills to survive the war civs that will all want your land. For the first few difficulties it's not much of an issue though, so I can see why you would think that. (I made the same mistake after curbstomping everyone on difficulty 3.)

Tl; dr I am a massive Civ sperg
 
If we're talking about civs that are good for teaching beginners, I recommend the Ottomans or the Aztecs. Both are pretty average objectively, so they help beginners learn how to win without the advantages you get from a really good civ. (I.e. China in Vanilla. They got nerfed in the DLC, though) without having too hard of a time winning.


Moai spamming only gets you so far. Once you reach difficulty 4 the blow it does to your GDP can become a huge problem, so you need to find a good balance between making Moais and using resources. The lack in production in cities that have a small enough amount of land for Moais to be really good also means that you can easily start falling behind in the midgame because of other cultural civs taking all the wonders you would want. Polynesia excels early and late game, but has a horrible midgame, which is where most warmongers shine in, so you also need to make a decent army or some impressive diplomacy skills to survive the war civs that will all want your land. For the first few difficulties it's not much of an issue though, so I can see why you would think that. (I made the same mistake after curbstomping everyone on difficulty 3.)

Tl; dr I am a massive Civ sperg
See, I played my game on difficulty 1 because I am a huge scrub
 
I play now and then, guess witch nation I always play?

Deagle Nation?

EDIT: To put this on-topic and toss my own Civ V comments in...love the early ocean exploration ability of the Polynesians, the late-game dominance of the Americans, all my major victories have come by way of the Russians/their resource bonuse and a mix of war and culture. I sperg hard for ruins and Archaeology digs, just because.
 
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@RJ MacReady A word of advice, don't play as America or France. France is completely different with the BNW update and America is just a worse version of the Shoshone, so they're not even worth playing if you don't care about tiers.

Also, I would like to take a second to talk about how much of an asshole England, , Siam and Greece are. Victoria never shuts up about the shitty trades she wants to make with you, and she always declares war if you don't accept them. She is so bad with this that I can remember "Would you be interested in a trade agreement with England?," down to the tone. Siam is a giant hypocrite who warmongers all the time, but can't stand when other people do it. Alexander is one of the douchiest warmongers in the game because of how hypocritical he is. He's as bad as Siam with this, and Alexander is even worse because his bonus to city-state friendships and maintaining them means he always, and I mean always, controls the world congress. Fuck Alexander.

So, what Civs grind your gears? Which ones do you cringe at once you meet them? Are there any Civs that you really like the AI of?
 
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So, what Civs grind your gears? Which ones do you cringe at once you meet them? Are there any Civs that you really like the AI of?

Mongolia. Genghis's modus operandi is apparently "I'm going to plant down as many cities as I can and not bother to maintain them", and then gods forbid you ever tell him to knock it off with this shit or expand near to one of his territories. Attila is almost the same way, but what he does is just declare war if you settle a territory too close to his.
 
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So, what Civs grind your gears? Which ones do you cringe at once you meet them? Are there any Civs that you really like the AI of?

Hate? One in particular. It's called Mongolia. It's not even that they successfully fight wars against me, it's that their hyperexpansionism always disrupts my city placement and forces me into entirely unwanted wars because his Genghis's AI throws tantrums if you do anything about it and will betray any alliance offered to them.

I've also had problems with Vicky and Alex, incidentally.

At the start of my first Russia game (Archipelago) Vicky trapped my scout Trireme in her waters by claiming every coastal tile at the wrong time and was offended when I wanted mutual Open Borders without giving her gold. I had to declare on her just to save my Trireme, and she was pissed at me for a while. Then she gave up, flooded me with demands for research agreements and lopsided trade deals that made no god damn sense and I declared on her to cap her colony for settling near me after I told her not to do so.

Alex on the other hand was a bit of a pissant in one of my first games (America/Continents) because a sprawling cluster of cities wasn't enough for him and he wanted more space. I crushed him and he shut up after that, having finally comprehended the idea of "build a boat and go elsewhere". Incidentally I dealt with Siam in that game, as well. He was to my southeast and was neutral to me entire game until he was flattened by Russia, with whom he picked a failed war at the same time he called out Alex for attacking me.

The Iroquois are self-righteous as hell. They're like a mixture of Mongolia and Vicky: ultra-expansionist and will flip on you in an instant if you're not their doormat. Meanwhile they pump out huge science and pick fights with all of their neighbours.

Washington and Caesar have always been warmongers who masquerade as peaceful isolationists. If I held land near their borders, they would eventually turn on me 100% of the time all the while apologising for being deceptive, but only when they thought they had the element of surprise.

Napoleon, on the other hand, I know as a legitimate do-nothing isolationist who spends the entire game taunting and criticising every other civ he knows while silently building a Culture Victory.

Civs I like are harder to come by. The Ottomans are always eager to be my buddy when we meet and they've never betrayed my trust, but they have this issue with trying to drag me into pointless wars they start a continent away. It usually ends poorly for them. Japan has also been a good ally to me, but they mostly keep to themselves so they're not worth it for much more than an extra denunciation or a fair trade.
 
Any recommendations on vanilla civs that are good for a learner? Like I said, I want to play every civ once, but I can't quite decide my favourite.

America, Germany, and England. None of them have any UAs, Germany doesn't have any important UUs, and America's B17s come late in the game. But you probably shouldn't become to reliant on England's longbows, or it's going to teach you some bad habits.
 
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When expanding, I typically stay along the shore if possible. Easier city connections that way. Digging roads outside my borders is a pain in the ass, especially when the workers or legionaries have to stop when another unit is blocking their path. In one case, I was playing as Rome and a route between my capital city and a city I planted in a banana-rich area of the inland jungle, and Indonesia was being a dick about roads and borders. I had my eye on a part of the map that was rich in pearls and had bountiful fishing tiles, and the best place to put a city for this was right on the gulf. Gajah Mada, who had been pissed about my expansion, took this spot and in doing so pissed me off so much that I started a war and reduced Indonesia to that one gulf city; the catch was that this gulf city would be their only city, so I planted so many citadels that I had complete control of the gulf, Indonesia had only a fraction of a hex to their one city, and my borders prevented theirs from expanding and also prevented Indonesia from spawning any units. I was able to build my road, though, so that war was totally necessary.

zEeYsCG.jpg

So I found a screenshot I took of this scenario a while ago, turns out it wasn't as bountiful as I remember. I just wanted that gulf.
 
Tomorrow (or this morning) I will be heading out and buying a steam card since I have the monies now and I'll be buying civ so maybe we could play sometime and you guys could kick my ass
 
Where is the love for Austria? You can start small and then near the middle of the game, you can just buy up every city state that you come across. Got a science victory with them.

Brazil is also OP if you can establish a jungle pantheon and get brazilwood camps all over the place. Probably the best for a cultural victory.

Venice is fun to play as long as you don't wind up neighboring a warmonger like the Aztecs
 
Where is the love for Austria? You can start small and then near the middle of the game, you can just buy up every city state that you come across. Got a science victory with them
Austria is probably one of the best, if not the best Civ for a diplomatic victory (aside from Venice, of course). I have a lot more fun playing with Morocco and Carthage when going for a diplo victory tho, so Austria isn't a Civ I personally care for.


Tomorrow (or this morning) I will be heading out and buying a steam card since I have the monies now and I'll be buying civ so maybe we could play sometime and you guys could kick my ass
Sounds fun. I like kicking ass.
 
Anybody have experience with Modding? We should make Australatina, Deagle Nation, and CWCville as countries.

Australatina (Leader: ADF) - Civ trait - Infrastructure bonus on roads being built quicker and units moving faster on roads.
Unique Unit: Crusty (Replaces scout) When in another civilization's territory, the Crusty causes a penalty to that Civilization's happiness.
Unique Building: Tattoo shop. Culture bonus.
Moderately aggressive. Focuses on building infrastructure/workers to build improvements and tries for a cultural victory. Builds wide.

Deagle Nation (Leader: Jace) - Civ Trait - Gamer fuel - Units heal quicker.
Unique Unit: Great prophets are replaced with "Pastor Faggot" and purge other religions when converting a city.
Unique Unit: Spec Ops (Replaces late game infantry) - Able to go into another civ/city state's territory without declaring war/getting a decline in relations
Extremely aggressive, especially late game. Goes for a domination victory and builds a lot of military units. Builds wide.

CWCVille (Leader: Christian) - Civ Trait - I'm thinking either a trade bonus (ebay sales) or a bonus against resisting tourism from another Civ.
Unique Building - PVCC - Replaces University - Research bonus
Unique Unit - Jerkop - Replaces mid-game ranged unit.
Not very aggressive. Builds tall. Goes for a cultural victory.

Planet Gauss (Leader: Kengle) - Civ Trait - Some sort of diplomacy bonus.
Unique Unit - Buffalo Cube - Replaces tank - Increased range of fire.
Unique Unit - Lost mutant clone - Replaces mid-game infantry unit.
Not aggressive at all. Builds moderate. Goes for a diplomacy bonus.
 
Anybody have experience with Modding? We should make Australatina, Deagle Nation, and CWCville as countries.

Australatina (Leader: ADF) - Civ trait - Infrastructure bonus on roads being built quicker and units moving faster on roads.
Unique Unit: Crusty (Replaces scout) When in another civilization's territory, the Crusty causes a penalty to that Civilization's happiness.
Unique Building: Tattoo shop. Culture bonus.
Moderately aggressive. Focuses on building infrastructure/workers to build improvements and tries for a cultural victory. Builds wide.

Deagle Nation (Leader: Jace) - Civ Trait - Gamer fuel - Units heal quicker.
Unique Unit: Great prophets are replaced with "Pastor fucking LOLCOW" and purge other religions when converting a city.
Unique Unit: Spec Ops (Replaces late game infantry) - Able to go into another civ/city state's territory without declaring war/getting a decline in relations
Extremely aggressive, especially late game. Goes for a domination victory and builds a lot of military units. Builds wide.

CWCVille (Leader: Christian) - Civ Trait - I'm thinking either a trade bonus (ebay sales) or a bonus against resisting tourism from another Civ.
Unique Building - PVCC - Replaces University - Research bonus
Unique Unit - Jerkop - Replaces mid-game ranged unit.
Not very aggressive. Builds tall. Goes for a cultural victory.

Planet Gauss (Leader: Kengle) - Civ Trait - Some sort of diplomacy bonus.
Unique Unit - Buffalo Cube - Replaces tank - Increased range of fire.
Unique Unit - Lost mutant clone - Replaces mid-game infantry unit.
Not aggressive at all. Builds moderate. Goes for a diplomacy bonus.
I wanted to make a kiwi civ where the leader was an actual kiwi and the unique unit would be turning scouts to trolls where they "scout out" new lolcows/nations I don't know what their unique bonus would be and I don't know what the unique building would be. Also I'd have to learn to mod
 
I'm a big fan of Sweden's unique unit; the Caroleans, as a primary infantry unit. They come with the March promotion for free, and they can merely be upgraded at the next tech level.

Line combat, aggressive infantry tactics with equally aggressive artillery support. Rinse, wash, repeat.
 
Kiwi Farms (Leader: Champthom) - Civ Trait - Lolcow Wiki - Every great person expended gives an increase in culture
Unique Unit: Ween - Replaces an infantry unit - Leads to a demoralization penalty against enemy country's troops that are within five squares of them.
Unique Building - Top Secret Inner Circle - Increases generation of great artists/writers/musicians by +100%
Goes for a cultural victory. Moderately aggressive.
 
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