Cocaine Bear (2023) - It's a bear high on cocaine

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If you are going to set the movie n 70s and try to make it a throw back type move, then can you least make it on film.
 
I am just here to comment on the spanish name of this movie because it's fucking brilliant and stupid.

Oso Vicioso
 
I assume this will be epic kino and I will hopefully see people in bear costumes show up for opening day.

Pre Jj abrams I always went to Star Trek movies opening day to see the cosplayers, I think we can do something good for this one
 
Idiotron said:
I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade but... this movie is directed and produced by Elizabeth Banks who also directed and produced Charlie's Angels.
No, not the one with Cameron Diaz from 2000... the feminist one from 2019:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RSUq4VfWfjEThis movie is going to blow dick, I'm sorry.
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Pink jumpsuit is stronk momma bear protecting her cub. In the final confrontation she scares the bear away with her independence.
 
Idiotron said:
I don't mean to rain on anyone's parade but... this movie is directed and produced by Elizabeth Banks who also directed and produced Charlie's Angels.
No, not the one with Cameron Diaz from 2000... the feminist one from 2019:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=RSUq4VfWfjEThis movie is going to blow dick, I'm sorry.
Click to expand...
Agreed its being advertised as a comedy and there is nothing worse than a bad comedy dollars to doughnuts it will suck ass, even if it has a fun concept.
 
Plumber's Kokoro Wish said:
Agreed its being advertised as a comedy and there is nothing worse than a bad comedy dollars to doughnuts it will suck ass, even if it has a fun concept.
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Did you even watch the trailer? It has a kid who says the fuck word. Peak comedy.

The true story was more of a tragedy. Drug dealer jumped out of the plane and hit his head and went unconscious so he couldn't open his 'chute. He had 10 parcels of cocaine with him. One fell off and crashed into some woods. The drug dealer splatted on some poor sap's driveway. The plane crashed in an uninhabited area and could have started a forest fire. Luckily it didn't crash in a neighborhood or into a school.

Later they found the cocaine bear. Upon an autopsy, it ate like 50lbs of coke. The veterinarian said it's stomach was stuffed to the brim with cocaine. Died almost instantly. Brain hemorrhaged, kidneys shut down, liver stopped working, lungs, heart, everything; the vet said pretty much every organ was destroyed. "No mammal would be able to ingest this amount of cocaine and live".
 
I’m not sure why, but the fact that Elizabeth Banks’ “Charlie’s Angels” reboot bombed so hard that she is now relegated to tell the story about the horrors of a bear ingesting too much cocaine seems far more hilarious than the team making a movie about a bear who ingested and sniffed too much cocaine.
 
After reading about who's in charge of it, yeah, it's gonna suck ass.

Such a shame too, such a silly concept could make a really enjoyable "dumb, turn your brain off and enjoy" kind of movie, which would be nice considering all we get nowadays is capeshit and fag propaganda.

Just have a bear roided up on cocaine slaughtering people wholesale, that's it, that's all you fucking need.
 
mlanguishi said:
This really screams of 'Hobo with a Shotgun' vibe. The trailer was incredible, and then the movie? Snakes in Planes too obviously. Big concept, low payback.
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Imma still go opening weekend, I have a feeling it’ll be the social event of the month
 
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SteelPlatedHeart said:
View attachment 4535030
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www.cocainebear.movie

Cocaine Bear: The Rise of Pablo Escobear | Game | Cocaine Bear(2023)

Play a 500-pound black bear who consumes a significant amount of cocaine and embarks on a drug-fueled rampage. Eat as many people and as much cocaine as you can, then share your score! Get In Line WATCH AT HOME NOW
www.cocainebear.movie www.cocainebear.movie

Lol it's pretty retarded but funny. It's a pac man ripoff kinda. Actually sort of fun. The little people's screams as you devour them never gets old.
 
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Jack Awful said:
"Furry star" now I want a horror movie about a guy in a fur suit that believes he's the animal his fursona is and starts eating people
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What about one called Winnie the Poo where a deranged schizophrenic shit eating diaper fur from India trolls the streets looking for fresh "honey"
(yes it is feces)
with the remaining cast of characters being social worker for eeyore/policeman for piglet/rabbit is some code monkey/kanga runs a chai shop/owl is old good morning sirs type/and tigger is obviously a nigger dalit, who have to regularly encounter Poo in his antics, Christopher Robin could be the typical white savior archetype envisioned by John Lennon who we are to learn occasionally gets lost on the streets of Calcutta after bad acid trips where he frequently encounters Winnie the Poo and others. The woozles can be played by jews led by Beatles manager Brian Epstein trying to get Lennon off the streets and Yoko can be the heffalump. This shit is already fair use lol. If someone paid to make Cocaine Bear they should fund this too.
 
So a touch of a power level.

This happened where I grew up. The cocaine drop happened in North Georgia. They dropped the load at a small airport. Failed to accommodate for weight, crashed, bear ate some cocaine
 
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