حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 125 13.1%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.7%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 528 55.3%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 228 23.9%
  • Total voters
    954
Dynastia said:
lol I'm going to bully you until you literally commit suicide now you worthless fat lump
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I may be a worthless fat lump but I'm not a petrol-huffing Abbo that hates meat pies :^)
I mean OMG I can't get the cap off & I am hliterally shrieking rn

But to get back on topic, thanks for keeping us abreast of all the Connor happenings, @Smutley. :semperfidelis:
 
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BOLDYSPICY! said:
As someone who has interacted with Connor for two years now & has been a Connorsseur since the start of the thread, I can say with certainty that that's not the case. Connor has proven over the years that he will flounce from site to site seeking validation, & when he doesn't get it, he moves on to another---& almost always tries to recruit a personal army against the previous site. Those normods at Toho Kingdom (a Godzilla fansite) told him to stop being a fuckin' spastic, so he moved to WrongPlanet & tried to get his newfound "friends" there to raid the place. He has tried to "leave" WP on several occasions to sperg here, then went crawling back to them when he was laughed at. He has created personal army threads against us at WP at least twice, & both were locked by mods who told him to knock his shit off. Now he's complaining about us on three different sites, one of which is a KF splinter site where all the spastics who were banned here congregate, & even THEY are openly getting sick of him (as we can see from @Smutley 's screencaps).
TL;DR Connor saw Vordrak as a man with clout who could totally take us down for real this time & not for fake, & wanted to join forces. That was his only motivation. But as always, whenever Connor tries to use people for his own gain, it backfires horribly.
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Connor cannot change. He doesn't want to.
 
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MerriedxReldnahc said:
Once the crotch fungus finally achieved sentience, the fetid mass of bacteria squirmed about before speaking its first words to Connor Bible. "Finish your novel" it belched.
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Thanks for that mental image...
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Ass Manager 3000 said:
Connor cannot change. He doesn't want to.
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ActualKiwi said:
Sad but true. Years down the line, young kiwis will still see Connor doing the same things he is now..
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You know what's great about ancient threads getting bumped? Seeing really old comments by users who have since moved on to bigger & better things. Like this comment in the SolidMario thread, about a grown man who wants to fuck Bart Simpson:
Connor Bible said:
Say what you will about my passion for Molly Ringwald, guys. At least it's kind of, y'know, normal.
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@Smutley
 
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autisticdragonkin said:
Why has @Connor Bible not been here for over a month?
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He sold out the forum to some guy who was trying to recruit a bunch of sperges who had been 'wronged,' by the Farms in order to do something, I have no idea what. Anyway when he came back here he was accused of being a traitor and was asked repeatedly to show his correspondence between him and the guy to make up for it.

Connor refused to show the emails and in the resulting backlash, which included threats to dox his family he ran away like a pussy to bitch about us on other websites. He's now 'jerry rigged,' his computer to prevent him from viewing the Farms because he's a chimp with no self control.
 
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BOLDYSPICY! said:
@Smutley
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siiiiighhhhh....
Fatty DingDongs said:
I'll tell you about Giftorcurse. For the record, call me Connor.

You may have read my posts in this forum. You may think I'm being a whiny b***h, but I'm at a loss for words. I'm being choked non-stop; have been since early 2009. Tried to strangle myself with my bedsheets after finding out I was nearsighted. For me, it was just another reason to add to the list. At the time, I was a freshman in high school. First years are always tough on me. In kindergarden and sixth grade, I was quite the troublemaker. f*****g animal, that's what I was. With every first year comes enemies. I've made plenty. My first friend used to beat the s**t out of me, saying that it he was just playing. I am incapable of trust; everybody in school is out to get you. They picked on me for every conceivable reason. They said that I was gay, that I was a nerd, that I was "a fat-ass", and so on. The fact that I had to get glasses would've cemented the nerd image in their mind. I had to escape.

Spent the night in a psych ward as a result. I told them the usual stuff, that I'd snapped, that my dad constantly teases and harrasses me. And you know what? They did nothing.
Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
My suicide attempt open doors for me. I saw before me the absolute futility of existence. We come out a vadge, for nothing. We've never really accomplished anything. MLK, Gahndi, Einstein... they did nothing. Naturally, I tried fooling myself. I tried writing a novel, which I still haven't finished. Then I found her.
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This is Molly Ringwald. My other face.
For some reason, I developed a bond with her. How could anyone not? Even now, she astonishes me. Whenever I'm alone, I imagine that she's with me. I dreamt of her, watched her. Whenever people attack my personhood, I imagine her striking back tenfold. God of War and Mortal Kombat times a billion. She exists in three stages: sister (about my age), lover (late teens to early twenties), and mother (Molly of the present). The Sister Molly is just that; my conception of what the sister I never had should be like. All of my sexual desires are transplanted to Lover Molly, the perfect woman. I polish the gun to her image in my mind. Mother Molly is a replacement of sorts for my real mother; she's gentle, wise. In a word, pure. A friend described the Mollys in my mind as "a security blanket." But sometimes, when I feel down, they attack me.
"You know that you're s**t."
TO BE CONTINUED IN A LATER POST.
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"She exists in three stages: sister (about my age), lover (late teens to early twenties), and mother (Molly of the present)."

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'All of my sexual desires are transplanted to Lover Molly, the perfect woman. I polish the gun to her image in my mind.'

I don't think anyone, even on Wrong Planet, deserved to hear Connor discussing what makes him want to 'polish his gun.' That's genuinely the most embarrassing euphemism for masturbation I've ever heard.
 
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Karen Riley said:
'All of my sexual desires are transplanted to Lover Molly, the perfect woman. I polish the gun to her image in my mind.'

I don't think anyone, even on Wrong Planet, deserved to hear Connor discussing what makes him want to 'polish his gun.' That's genuinely the most embarrassing euphemism for masturbation I've ever heard.
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And this man ( I use the term loosely) fancies himself a writer.
 
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Karen Riley said:
'All of my sexual desires are transplanted to Lover Molly, the perfect woman. I polish the gun to her image in my mind.'

I don't think anyone, even on Wrong Planet, deserved to hear Connor discussing what makes him want to 'polish his gun.' That's genuinely the most embarrassing euphemism for masturbation I've ever heard.
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I'll bet everything I own that Connor has never handled a gun in his entire life.
 
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