🐱 Conservative Christians Want To Replace Halloween With 'JesusWeen'

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Evangelical Christian can't get enough of conservative Jesus—the judgy one—so they want to put him everywhere: on Starbucks cups, in schools and even in the 'ween.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Halloween, also known as All Hallow's Eve—the precursor to All Saints Day on November 1—is not hallowed enough for the likes of some Evangelical Christians.

Instead, they would prefer to transform the holiday into "JesusWeen."


Meanwhile, as advertisements started showing up on city buses and making their way across North America, people couldn't help but notice something a little too hilarious about the name "JesusWeen."

The specifically hilarious piece of the puzzle comes from the word "Ween."

Halloween means "Saints' evening" (Hallow + e'en). However, in arguing for JesusWeen, organizers have incorrectly interpreted "Ween" as one word.

"The dictionary meaning of Ween is to believe and think," wrote organizers.

"We therefore see October 31st as a day to expect a gift of salvation by receiving the Gospel of our lord Jesus."
However, Twitter is more struck by the Urban Dictionary definition of "Ween," which is slang for penis.

Another puzzling aspect of this story is that the word "Hallowe'en" is of Christian origin. The holiday was largely co-opted from folk customs and pagan rituals from around the British Isles.

The Gaelic festival of Samhain, the mark of the end of the warm and light season and the beginning of the cold and dark season, starts on October 31 as well.

The Celts believed Samhain was an opportunity for the veil between our world and the "Otherworld," the Celtic land of the dead and various entities, to blur. As such, Celts sought to appease angry spirits with "treats," aka food and drink.

With Christianity's introduction, All Hallows'—also called All Saints'—Day and All Hallows' Eve were made replacements while maintaining some of the original celebrations' traditions.

Still, Pastor Paul Ade, who is spearheading the movement, has not done the research or made the connections.

"I think it's an activity that doesn't have anything to do with Christians," he said to Gawker.

"Halloween is not consistent with the Christian faith. Many people say they feel uncomfortable on that day. We think people should choose an alternative activity."
And the alternate activity he's suggesting?

Celebrate JesusWeen.

Whatever that might mean to you.....or to Jesus.
 
They can fuck off...and I consider myself politically Christian.
 
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Why not make it burn a catholic day? dirty heretics...
 
H-how dare anyone even put His name next to ween!!
The lack of self awareness is astonishing. We have Christmas and Easter. Plus Christian's celebrate Jesus EVERY DAY through prayer.

If you feel left out about Halloween or don't like the overt Satanism that some scrubs still celebrate from past tradition- just dress up, eat candy and light a pumpkin spice candle. God knows your intentions. Sheesh. 🙄
 
What's wrong with All Saints Eve/Day? It's literally the same fucking day and the one after.

Very traditionally Christian, you'd have been punished for not attending on it years ago.

So it’s like one pastor who wants to do that? News outlets have been dragging this out as clickbait for at least the past 20 years but I have yet to see any evidence of it IRL.

It has been banned here for as long as I remember in schools, public venues by the council's closest to me on the grounds that it offends "wider communities" a.k.a Islam. Nobody marks it here outside other than nightclub parties for adults, and even then I've heard people be criticised for going to them because it's American trash (it was fucking invented on the bong islands) or because it's racist.

It was banned in some schools in France too, but that was on the ground of total separation of faith and state and you could still mark it outside if you wished. Certainly a more an Anglo thing though.
 
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So it’s like one pastor who wants to do that? News outlets have been dragging this out as clickbait for at least the past 20 years but I have yet to see any evidence of it IRL.
Apply the same logic to something besides white people and Christians.

"Blacks steal."
"Muslims suicide bomb."
"Somalis marry their brothers."
 
Isn't modern day Halloween technically a mutation of a christian holiday anyways? Halloween is a catchy bastardization of pronunciation of all hallows eve, literally meaning day before all's Holy day.. Fucking it further by changing the name to "jesusween" is silly and I refuse to believe it isn't an astroturfed publicity stunt in some way.

EDIT: Fuck I didn't realize the article covered the fact it's a christian holiday already.
 
Why not make it burn a catholic day? dirty heretics...
Who you callin' heretic, heretic?

@Marshal Mannerheim GET'IM!
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"The day of the dead" when you lit a candle and tend to the graves.
In Mexico, there's also a "Day of the Dead" holiday, Día de los Muertos, where you honor departed loved ones with decorative candy skulls and such.
 
So once again it’s like one pastor who wants to do that? News outlets have been dragging this out as clickbait for at least the past 20 years but I have yet to see any evidence of it IRL.
It's like how they screech about Dominionists who were only ever a tiny movement of crazy hard core Calvinists that most Christians had never heard of. The way the fedoras shriek about them still you'd think they were everywhere.
 
So once again it’s like one pastor who wants to do that? News outlets have been dragging this out as clickbait for at least the past 20 years but I have yet to see any evidence of it IRL.
And yet it’s Seattle schools that bans Halloween. Is it just me or do they like to scapegoat their racist “anti-racist” policies by saying it’s achsually the “white Christians” that want this.
 
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