Copypasta thread - Mmmm pasta

[Staticness]

What I would give to kidnap We Are The Witches and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. Just terrible degradation and shameful acts. It would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. If I could train Null to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. A really big dog like a slobbermutt. He would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. A big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? Might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place the key inside with him but put it in a high place. Not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. It would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. Just so many things i would do.

 

[AnOminous]

Someone actually posted this. I can't find it anywhere else.

One time when I was a stupid teen, I tried to masturbate with a cucumber.

It didn't work though, but when I went to throw it away, I realized I now had a giant problem: "hey hon, why is there a completely uneaten, fresh and hard cucumber in the trash??"


So I panicked. I put it in a Ziploc bag, smashing it with the base of my hand over and over to make it fit. Worried there would still be a smell, I sprayed some toxic levels of perfume in there, sealed it up and threw in the a pile of junk in my closet.

Two years later, I remembered it, found it and opened it.

Anyway, all that is to say that I imagine this is what Anne Marie smells like. So if you just try and keep an eye out for "cucumber melon that's been dipped into Ralph's blown out asshole," you'll probably be able to detect her the minute she gets close enough to your property.

 

[y a t s]

I'm done giving a single solitary fuck about anything to do with the Internet, its future, or anyone on it. These dumb cunts can figure out this broken pile of shit themselves.
Only lulz for me from here on out.

 

[y a t s]

Mi miss di ol' Kanye, straight from di Go Kanye
Chop up di soul Kanye, set pon him goals Kanye
Mi hate di new Kanye, di bad mood Kanye
Di always rude Kanye, spaz een di news Kanye
Mi miss di sweet Kanye, chop up di beats Kanye
Mi haffi seh, een dat time mi woulda love fi meet Kanye
Yuh si, mi invent Kanye, it wasn't no Kanyes
An now mi look an look roun, an der so many Kanyes
Mi used to love Kanye, mi used to love Kanye
Mi even have di pink polo, mi tink mi was Kanye
Wah if Kanye mek a tune bout Kanye
Call "Mi Miss di Ol' Kanye"? Bredda, dat woulda be so Kanye
Dat all it was, Kanye, wi still love Kanye
An mi love yu like Kanye love Kanye

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

This is your FINAL warning.

Alright everyone, listen up. It turns out that nobody listens to me when l'm nice, so I guess I'll be mean.

Reacting to peoples' messages with laugh react andn it is a serious post isn't cool. It's not funny, it's not friendly; it's annoying.

These rude reacts in particular are NOT funny, they're RUDE. We as staff are working hard to keep this geoup as safe and friendly as possible, and seeing other group members reacting to our messages with rude reacts makes me furous.

STOP adding rude reactions to other peoples' messages. It does NOT make you look cool, it does NOT make you look impressive, it makes you look really really stupid.

FROM NOW ON, IF YOU ARE CAUGHT REACTING TO MESSAGES WITH RUDE REACTS, I AM WRITING YOUR NAME DOWN. THIS DOCUMENT WILL BE SENT TO PROPER AUTHORITIES AT THE END OF THE WEEK. THEY WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND ARREST YOU.

This is your FINAL warning. Tread carefully...