Corrupt-a-Wish

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Dr W said:
I wish I stopped seeing random old people naked in the street.
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You see naked fat people in the street, and naked old people in your bedroom, often having sex on your bed. When you're watching TV, random naked old people appear in the middle of the screen to scratch their balls and cootch.

I wish I could find $20 in my pocket every time I'm broke.
 
Whenever the $20 generates you exist in a status of being "not broke" causing it to vanish, this rapid appearance and vanishing eventually becomes so painful you can never wear pants with pockets again.

I wish senpai would notice me.
 
Done. He notice you but he kills you.

I wish I had that damn 4th chaos emerald.
 
Granted, but you accidentally flush it down the toilet.

I wish whenever someone says something costs an arm and a leg, they lose an arm and a leg.
 
Any and all limbs lost as a result of this wish, in perpetuity, are magically grafted onto random locations on your body.

I wish I weren't so crap at job interviews.
 
Granted, but you're so 'good' the ceo of the next place you apply steps down so you can replace them shortly before a major accident leaves you facing a long jail sentence for corporate manslaughter.

I wish I was better at wishing.
 
Granted, but you can only wish for pointless shit. No more.

I wish I could win at the lottery.
 
Granted. Everyone else stalks you instead.

I wish for an incorruptible wish.
 
Your wish is promptly corrupted, and at the edge of the universe, where only darkness dwells, a god your poor human brain can only conceive of as a mass of writhing tentacles laughs at you for being so naïve. You don't "hear" the laughter, but its waves still engulf you, fragmenting your mind in such a way that referring to your state as insanity would be describing it charitably.

I wish for a bunny.
 
latest


I wish I had $20.
 
Dr. Tremolo said:
They're Liberian Dollars.

I wish for an aesthetically perfect maxilla.
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Granted but your lower jaw is an orcish abomination of split, uneven yellow teeth that distracts people from your perfection.

I wish whoever corrupts this wish would grow tastebuds in their arsehole!
 
LazarusOwenhart said:
I wish whoever corrupts this wish would grow tastebuds in their arsehole!
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Your wish is granted, and now I have tastebuds growing in my asshole. While you think this would lead to a life of misery and unexpected twist of fate occurred: because I can taste things in my asshole I've started a new fetish porn website where I shove expensive, classy food in my asshole and review said foods flavors solely by shoving it in my asshole. Eventually, because of the constant exposure to shit passing over my new tastebuds I develop a tolerance for shit and, after the review gig dries up, I successfully transition to becoming a world renowned scat porn star and retiring a multi-millionaire.

I wish someone loved me.
 
Zorceror44 said:
You get raped and decapitated by Somali pirates.

I wish I could play an instrument.
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You can now play an instrument, but you suck horribly at it and everyone makes fun of you!

I wish I wouldn't be judged for my shit taste in music
 
You are no longer judged, but now you can't listen to your music.

I wish I had a pet ostrich.
 
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