Corrupt-a-Wish

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Granted, but you decide to overstep your bounds and a rift between you and Null forms. You decide to create a rival lolcow website after leaving in spectacular fashion and fade into obscurity.

I wish I could speak better.
 
Your sister now makes beds. The sound of carpentry keeps you up all night.

I wish for a flying car.
 
Hooray! Science has advanced enough to make this possible! But it's a Toyota! Buckle up, because those brakes aren't gonna help you!

I wish I could cleanse myself of my sinful image stashes.
 
Hooray! Science has advanced enough to make this possible! But it's a Toyota! Buckle up, because those brakes aren't gonna help you!

I wish I could cleanse myself of my sinful image stashes.
While all of your sinful images are deleted, they are later sent to your grandmother, with your name and signature on them.

I wish I was a medieval warlord with power and women.
 
You get just that, but now you have to deal with the copious amounts of disease and filth. In addition, you did not wish for money, so your holdings crumble because they lack the funds to be managed.

I wish I had the supernatural ability to insert myself into fictional universes.
 
Paul reveals himself to be a secret Communist alien.

I wish Barb would marry me.
 
You get a jet of piss that sprays out of your privates at random intervals.

I wish that the only reason that anyone would want to fight anyone is for fun on both sides of the fight.
 
Congrats! Because fighting is so fun, war is more commonplace than ever! Millions die each month because it's so fun!

I wish the world would be less divided.
 
The world is less divided. It is now multiplied, human stupidity also.

I wish that I could create bread and wine.
 
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