Corrupt-a-Wish

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The Knife said:
Non-consensual tentacle rape is now an everyday occurrence.

I wish I had shell access.
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Weinbergschnecke_Paarung.jpg

:tomgirl::tomgirl::tomgirl:

I wish I had a yacht.
 
DeckardBane said:
Weinbergschnecke_Paarung.jpg

:tomgirl::tomgirl::tomgirl:

I wish I had a yacht.
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You are gifted a yacht, but it is in need of many repairs and supplies, and your yacht club membership dues and marina fees drive you to the point of bankruptcy. In desperation, you start chartering cruises, but then the boat is caught in a storm and sinks with all hands. You are found criminally negligent and sentenced to prison. Your yacht is eventually dredged to the surface, and a salvage team finds a fortune in small bills and diamonds stashed behind a bulkhead that had been placed there by the previous owner--it's enough that it would have saved you from bankruptcy several times over, if only you had known about it. It is awarded to the families of the victims.

I wish that hair metal and new wave were still popular.
 
Da Pickle Monsta said:
You are gifted a yacht, but it is in need of many repairs and supplies, and your yacht club membership dues and marina fees drive you to the point of bankruptcy. In desperation, you start chartering cruises, but then the boat is caught in a storm and sinks with all hands. You are found criminally negligent and sentenced to prison. Your yacht is eventually dredged to the surface, and a salvage team finds a fortune in small bills and diamonds stashed behind a bulkhead that had been placed there by the previous owner--it's enough that it would have saved you from bankruptcy several times over, if only you had known about it. It is awarded to the families of the victims.

I wish that hair metal and new wave were still popular.
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They're still popular, but today's music artists pick up on the trend, resulting in a new wave collaboration between Justin Bieber and Iggy Azalea.

I wish that I had the ability to have just the right amount of money on me for whatever I want at any given time.
 
APerson said:
They're still popular, but today's music artists pick up on the trend, resulting in a new wave collaboration between Justin Bieber and Iggy Azalea.

I wish that I had the ability to have just the right amount of money on me for whatever I want at any given time.
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You have the right amount of money that you want at all times, but you always forget to tip.
I wish I had time to watch some TV shows that I wanted to watch.
 
Abethedemon said:
I wish I had time to watch some TV shows that I wanted to watch.
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You find the time to watch those shows, but they slowly consume your life. You shun your responsibilities, and eventually are evicted from your place of residence for non-payment of bills. The rest of your life is spent watching TV in Best Buy on a display, until the employees call the police to evict you. You are shot for "resisting arrest" while trying to watch your shows.
 
Ja'mie said:
Your TV is stolen and nothing can be streamed to your computer due to your internet being cut down.

I wish it would never snow in my city ever again.
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It doesn't snow anymore, but instead man-eating frogs come down from the sky and eat everyone.
 
APerson said:
I wish for a living unicorn.
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You become a unicorn. You quickly regret it when being around non-virgins (it hurts like in Ultima 7 with one unicorn that didn't like being around non-virgins.) You also get chances in encounters with bronies who want to turn you into their waifu.

I wish had tank named killdozer, complete with blackjack and hookers.
 
c-no said:
You become a unicorn. You quickly regret it when being around non-virgins (it hurts like in Ultima 7 with one unicorn that didn't like being around non-virgins.) You also get chances in encounters with bronies who want to turn you into their waifu.

I wish had tank named killdozer, complete with blackjack and hookers.
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The [[FILL IN YOUR COUNTRY HERE]] military calls you a risk to national security, arrests you, and confiscates the tank and hookers.

I wish that I could go to Chile in June and ski in the summer.
 
APerson said:
The [[FILL IN YOUR COUNTRY HERE]] military calls you a risk to national security, arrests you, and confiscates the tank and hookers.

I wish that I could go to Chile in June and ski in the summer.
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You go to Chile, but your plane crashes in a desert where you cannot ski. You later die of starvation
I wish I could sing better.
 
Abethedemon said:
You go to Chile, but your plane crashes in a desert where you cannot ski. You later die of starvation
I wish I could sing better.
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Your singing becomes so good that you are listed as best singer. Unfortunately, due to your awesome skill in singing, you get killed as fans try to fight for your genes.

I wish Chris came back with content like the old days where he wore clown shirts.
 
Ian Brandon Anderson said:
Chris goes mainstream, thousands of weens flood the farms and the Cwcki, reducing its standards of quality below that of ED. He gains news coverage, and monetizes his popularity so he can afford all the LEGOs he wants. He makes enough money where he s happy not using the internet and then stops producing any content. The Farms is reduced to hundreds of ween threads speculating what he is doing/ what would his return be like.
Alternatively, Chris returns to producing content while wearing clown shirts. And nothing else.

I wish I got a full ride at a prestigious university.
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You get a full ride at a prestigious university only for it to go on lockdown because of some vague GamerGater threat someone "conveniently" found. Through some bad luck, you get implicated and arrested.

I all weebs, bronies, and furries went into the blackhole, reducing the amount of sperging on the internet.
 
all weebs, brines and furries go into the black hole, but you are dragged down with them. To make matters worse, everyone spergs about Superwholock instead.
I wish I was a superhero with my own comic book.
 
Abethedemon said:
all weebs, brines and furries go into the black hole, but you are dragged down with them. To make matters worse, everyone spergs about Superwholock instead.
I wish I was a superhero with my own comic book.
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You become a superhero with your own comic. Unfortunately, you suck harder than Aqua Man. To make things worse, your comic isn't even worthy of being toilet paper, just kindling.

I wish I had all writings of fan-fics A-Log made, just to see what he had written.
 
Ian Brandon Anderson said:
Your family discovers the fanfictions and becomes irrevocably convinced that they are yours. Every family gathering is there after awkward.

I wish new all cars ever had the same safety rating as the safest car invented to date.
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The data turns out to be moot since they are all bought out or lazy ratings. Enjoy your metal death trap.

I wish Sonichu's were real and could be hunted.
 
Ian Brandon Anderson said:
They worship CWC as a god and akin to every dystopian Sonichu fanfaction ever written, he becomes a dictator in control of an army of creatures inherently far more powerful than humans.

I wish all tumblrites adopted moderate positions on the topics the debate over, and stopped being militant.
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Though tumblrites adopt moderate positions, their extremism still lingers, eventually pouring out and becoming militant with said moderate positions.

I wish a giant bee ride like this could exist in real life, giving everyone fun.
 
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