Craigslist Cringe Thread

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Coworker cup cum (Phone):
"Working today and my hot coworker is off and finally left her office unlocked. Wanting to send you her pic (nn) then I call you from her office. I listen to you jerkoff to her saying her name and calling her degrading things until I blow my 4 day load into her coffee mug!"
 
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I can always count on Las Vegas to deliver Dregslist gold.
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I finally decided to take a crack at some Canadian CL pages and found this gem immediately:

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This was posted in a m4w personals section (as you might expect). They do seem to be a legitimate prepper group but it's only 4 or 5 guys so my best guess is they want a free hooker for their camping trips. Or maybe it's a cult. I don't think survivalist groups typically demand mindless obedience and sexual submissiveness unless they're cults.
 
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Someone expecting to not find all of this shit on fucking craigslist of all places...

What ever happened to...
Do you remember when you could get anywhere around town in 15 minutes, didn't get run off the road and it did not cost you $27.50 to drive that 11 miles? Do we still even have a capitol building left? I can't see it...can you?....did they tear it down to build some $400,000, 591sq ft studio condos? Jeez how this city has gone downhill with the influx from the south (way south), west coast and far northeast! Along with it CL has sunk too. You used to be able to post in the section you wanted and get responses from the audience you targeted. Of course there were always some freaks that replies and some bots, but not 99.9% of your replies....but now forget it! You post in m4w, write a nice ad, include pics of that "something special" and what do you get? Bombarded by over aggressive gays, overseas scammers and the 172,000 "escorts" we must have in this town! Are there any real women (real people in general) left in X that enjoy perusing and responding to the ads?
 
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"Tess Holliday's curves." "I smell good." Sorry; you can only pick one.

And is "stardust" the latest euphemism for "excess body fat" in Fat Acceptance/HAES circles? I admit I haven't kept up on these things ever since I got booted off v/fatpeoplehate.

Note, of course, the extreme MySpace angle. Also, the aura of insufferability that emanates from her entire post. If you were that fucking smart, lady, you wouldn't let yourself get to Tess Hollandaise's size. Nor would you be reduced to trawling Dregslist for a date.
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"I had gastric bypass, but still love baking, and getting baked!" Yes, I'm sure you'll have no trouble maintaining your weight loss. And while she looks reasonably clean, I'm still waiting to see a poly person of any sex or gender who doesn't look like a cave troll. And any woman over the age of about 19 who still calls herself a "Princess" is waving a huge red flag. RUN AWAY, GENTS.
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This woman's description of herself was not cringey (or even very interesting, tbh), but this choice of a photo definitely is. When you're only 28, but your pic makes you look like a depressed 48-year-old who just wants to be left in peace to sit on the couch with a box of Franzia and a cake while you watch old Beauty and the Beast episodes with the cat, it's time to reassess your decisions.
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Remember the sadfeels autistic girl I posted at the beginning? This is her evil alternative-universe counterpart.
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This handsome pilot wants a young woman to fly with him in his small plane to Florida, buy him lunch and then immediately tell you to fuck off because he's not letting you stay with him. He might ask his host to let you have the couch if you're really nice, but if not have fun being homeless in Miami for a week.

He promises not to rape you, but if he decides he doesn't like you he's just going to ditch you in Florida. He is totally okay with you not having sex with him and there is no hidden agenda. Adventurous types only.
 
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As soon as I saw the thread title my first thought was to look up Spokane's craigslist. As with everything to do with that city, I was not disappointed.

Apologies if :late:, as this is my first time perusing this thread and these are old posts that received local media coverage, but I looked back in the thread and did not see these posted:

Spokane Craigslist ad seeks 'generic father figure for backyard BBQ'

SPOKANE, Wash. -
Can this be for real? The answer is yes.
A Spokane Craigslist advertisement is getting a lot of attention ahead of Father's Day weekend.
A group of guys in their twenties posted that they are throwing a backyard BBQ, and are on a mission to find themselves a father figure for their party.
KHQ talked to the man behind the ad who says he's looking for a dad in the area because his and his roommates' dads aren't around.
Dane Anderson and the boys are ready for summer and to eat from the grill...but want a little extra help.
"We just thought it would be a little better because we don't really live with our fathers," said Dane.
Their ad reads, "...while most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of 'BBQ Dad.'"
The party will take place June 17th from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.
What does a "BBQ Dad" do, exactly?
Duties include:
  • Grilling hamburgers and hot dogs (whilst drinking beer, of course)
  • Bringing your own grill (subject to change, but meat will be provided by party planners)
  • Referring to attendees as Big Guy, Chief, Sport, Champ, etc.
  • Talk about dad things like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc.
The perfect candidate will meet the following qualifications:
  • A minimum of 18 years experience as a father
  • A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
  • An appreciation of cold beer on a hot summer day
*Bonus points if your name is Bill, Randy or Dave.
Dane says they've already been getting some dads emailing them.
"His name is Jerry but he said we can call him Dave or Bill," Dane said. "There was one guy Stan who sent us a message but then he stopped replying."
We couldn't help but try to see if dads would be cool doing this, so we sent KHQ's Andrea Olson out to walk around with Dane's ad from Craigslist to look for interested dads. As for the dad in the included photo, they found it in a Google search from a site called thelittlehoneybee,com.
With forty people coming to this backyard party, Dane says he might step up his game to try and get three dads.
But for now? He's just looking for a good time.
"We're just looking for a dad to come and crack a cold one with the boys," says Dane.
Dane says they won't be able to pay their "BBQ Dad" in cash, but they will be providing him with all of the food and cold beer that his heart desires.
If you know a dad who wants to submit his application, here is the link to the ad: https://spokane.craigslist.org/evg/6144589384.html
Click to expand...

http://www.khq.com/story/35579202/spokane-craigslist-ad-seeks-generic-father-figure-for-backyard-bbq
https://archive.is/GXZIQ

Spokane Baby Put Up For Sale on Craigslist

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SPOKANE, Wash. - The Spokane Police Sexual Exploitation Unit is investigating a recent Craigslist posting; a father was attempting to sell his 6 month old baby daughter. The father, Gregory G. Edison, 44, listed himself as a seller on Craigslist on July 5, 2010. A Spokane citizen contacted KHQ to report the posting; and KHQ contacted police.

SPD Patrol Officer Tiffany Iverson responded and took the police report around 7pm. Craigslist deleted the posting about an hour after it went up.

After KHQ's story of the posting, Edison contacted KHQ and then called the police. Detective Curt Kendall contacted Edison and checked on the welfare of the baby. Child Protective Services has also been notified and will be working with the family; there is a two year old in the home as well as the baby. The mother does not appear to be involved in the posting.

The Craigslist ad reads: "We don't get along. She won't let me feed her or hold her. She cries from the time she wakes up til the time she goes to bed. She lets my friends male or female hold and feed her. Her and her mom are always fussin'. We had a 4 hour standoff just to get her to take the bottle from me. She will be on the porch waiting on you...LOL."

Detectives are requesting charges of attempted child selling and sending it to the prosecutor's office for the ultimate charging decision.

Previous Coverage:

SPOKANE, Wash. - A 6 month old baby goes up for sale on Craigslist in Spokane and authorities plan to track down the person who posted the ad.

The ad doesn't list a price but has two photos of the girl. The ad reads: "We don't get along. She won't let me feed her or hold her. She cries from the time she wakes up til the time she goes to bed. She lets my friends male or female hold and feed her. Her and her mom are always fussin'. We had a 4 hour standoff just to get her to take the bottle from me. She will be on the porch waiting on you...LOL."

KHQ handed a copy of the ad over to Spokane Police Officers Monday afternoon who filed a report.

They suspect this may be just a sick prank but say even if it is a joke, they still need to find out the welfare of this child and the state of the parent.

There's no address or phone number on the ad but police say their detectives may be able to trace the ad using the email address.

"They have the resources and the capability during the day to follow up on this further and contact Craigslist and find out who posted it and then contact that person," said Sgt. Kevin King.

If you know the girl or have seen her they ask that you call crime check at 509-456-2233.
Click to expand...

http://www.khq.com/story/12758209/update-spokane-baby-put-up-for-sale-on-craigslist
https://archive.is/7lf4x

A cursory glance suggests that the Spokane craigslist site is currently full of sex pests and speds debating politics there for some reason, but I'll have to periodically check in for very uniquely exceptional Spokane things.
 
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RJ MacReady said:
This was posted in a m4w personals section (as you might expect). They do seem to be a legitimate prepper group but it's only 4 or 5 guys so my best guess is they want a free hooker for their camping trips. Or maybe it's a cult. I don't think survivalist groups typically demand mindless obedience and sexual submissiveness unless they're cults.
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I'm pretty sure this is just a gangbang disguised as a "tactical training" thing.

I mean, beyond the fact that I don't know of many "submissive" women who are interested in learning how to "forge for food" and do "rock repelling"
 
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