Craigslist Cringe Thread

Bumping this to point out a gem I found on missed connections.

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Edit: Did some digging, can confirm it's real. Or at least the bit about a dead body turning up at a marina in Gravesend, Brooklyn is real.
 
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Sounds like the beginning of a delightful romantic comedy.

This Summer! Craig List is just your average dude living in his houseboat. Until one day, a corpse washes up in the marina...and life will never be the same! When he meets a perky EMT responder, They'll learn to mourn. They'll learn to laugh! But mostly...They'll learn to love. But when the mob gets involved, Craig will have to learn to stop just living for him and his boat, and make a date with destiny. Starring Ryan Gosling, Jennifer Aniston, Elizabeth Banks, Ron Perlman, and Danny DeVito as the bloated corpse!

One Sweet Day in Gravesend.


Coming to theaters June 17
 
Found this one in the Missed Connections

glory hole Saturday night - m4m





I was nervous about even going. I walked in and there's this hot guy already there getting sucked off. I didn't know if I should have left and come back but watching was fun. I couldn't resist. I stripped down too and started playing with your ass while you were playing with my cock. Nice ASS. Had thought about asking you to switch up so it would have lasted longer.
You finished and left....you were right. He's good.
I'd like a 1 on 1 if you're interested.
Thanks

And here are some other thirsty idiots

Two free Garth tickets. What would you do for them? - m4ww





So I have ended up with more Garth tickets than I need. I could try to sell them but perhaps I could give them away here, but I would like to see what two young but legal age people would be willing to do for them.

Would love to watch you enjoy each other. Then possibly let me participate. No penetration is fine.

I am a white, clean cut, successful white collar business type. Age 41. Non smoker.

These seats are floor seats and I will share a screen shot of the seat tickets if we find a connection. So if you can't afford or couldn't get your own seats, perhaps we could have a win win. These tickets are for the Sunday 3pm show.

Please email me your details. Priority given to pics.

white male wants at least 6 girls - m4ww



white male wants at least 6 girls to tie him on top of a bed, strip his clothes off, then strip their clothes off and climb on top of him, running their hands all over him, getting him very horny, then playing with his cock until he cums, and then bring him outdoors naked and each naked girl fucks him.

Are you a lesbian secretly wanting cock and the touch of a man? - m4w



I ask this question because in my experiences not all Lesbian's are "true 100%" Lesbians, ...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

You love women, but secretly want some cock from time to time, ..submitting to a man and feeling the "real thing", a nice warm cock sliding in and out.

Again, there's absolutely nothing with your secret desires. I'm totally discreet and this could be our little secret.
You can be single or attached. Again this is completely discreet.

I'm white, 40, stocky, 6 feet tall, blue eyes, brown hair. I'm very easy to get along with, chill, down to earth, and overall good company to be around.
I'm drama free and basically just looking for good connection and fun play.

Sexually I like many positions and the experience overall to be long lasting. I'm also very oral and loving licking that "special place" :-)

You can be any race and pretty much any size, thin to thick, chubby, or bbw. Just please be disease free and overall open minded to having a little no strings attached fun.

This could be a one time thing or something regular.
Stocky of course being "Craigslist talk" for fat as fucking shit
 
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These are pretty much every w4m personal in my area:
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I'm demanding, bring nothing to the table, am barely literate, and the kids are both from different dads who don't pay child support, but still pop in whenever they want and will sometimes challenge you to drunken fistfights!
Or this here. Seems almost normal, up until the end:
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No teeth. Can't drive. No income. "Not looking for someone to support me."
 
Thanks to reading this thread, I'm looking out for weird shit. And I think this qualifies...
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And apparently voodoo is going on. The way people are around me, I'd bet this is 100 percent serious.
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Ok, in all honesty, the first one having the title "Cousin!" made me think of Roman from GTAIV

"Niko, Cousin! It is now the time for us to be spending time together! How about that old American past-time, Bowling! And afterwards, you can eat my fat pussy!"
 
Ok, in all honesty, the first one having the title "Cousin!" made me think of Roman from GTAIV

"Niko, Cousin! It is now the time for us to be spending time together! How about that old American past-time, Bowling! And afterwards, you can eat my fat pussy!"

Hey speaking of cousins, here's a creepy one that keeps popping up:
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Keeps getting flagged? Gee wonder why?

Here's another one, it's called "Everybody got a sugar momma":
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