Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

Splendid Meat Sticks said:
Jack Chick has gone on the record as saying Christian music is evil.
And then he made a tract where he outright calls it Satanic.
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This is actually my favorite Chick tract, perhaps because I saw it first. It was in some gas station rest room, I believe. I know I would also see them in laundromats sometimes, and phone booths, when those existed.

It has the best Chick line ever, I think.

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I've been waiting for this thread to be made. This nut is too crazy to ignore on a forum dedicated to discussing eccentric people.
 
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Oh man, I love me some Chick tracts.
I first came across these when I was at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which for all you non-dramafags is a massive theatre festival up in Scotland. I was handing out flyers for our show, dressed as a cardinal. This was a mistake, because for some reason people thought this meant I wanted to be engaged in religious debate, even though I was one of hundreds of people in costume on the Royal Mile, and if you had that much difficulty figuring out the difference between fiction and reality, the dude dressed as a robot would surely have been a more interesting person to talk to. Ten militant atheists later, this guy comes up to me and hands me this comic. I in return offered him a flyer, which he declined. He then explained that the Catholic Church was evil, and I should turn to the true faith. I tried, as politely as possible, to explain that I would surely run straight to the nearest church once I'd finished flyering, but the chap wouldn't leave me alone. And flyering is very difficult when you have an evangelist with poor personal hygiene breathing down your neck. In the end, the good folk of Edinburgh were treated to the sight of a cardinal shouting, "Look, just piss off, will you?"

Anyway, that evening I sat down and looked at the tract. I don't recall the story being outstanding (it wasn't one of the classics), but it did make me curious, and we spent an entertaining couple of hours online looking up more.
I can't believe anyone's ever been converted by reading them. I suspect their main function is to make people who already buy into Chick's bizarre form of Christianity feel good about themselves. "Well, I didn't do any charitable work or give anything up to help others, but I did leave that comic there, so my place at God's right hand is assured." In fact, I seem to recall that at least one of the comics actually features a character finding a Chick tract and instantly converting as a result, which gives you some idea of how Chick views his own work.

I think my favourite is "Allah Had No Son," which can be read here. As you might imagine, it's incredibly Islamophobic, but on top of that it's got everything we love about a Chick tract. Smug, unlikeable protagonist, double standards, extremely dubious "facts," a morally repugnant message and, of course, an instant conversion as soon as the antagonist hears that there's this guy Jesus. The ending is the funniest/most horrifying bit, as the newly-converted ex-Muslim explains that it's okay to die for his religion because he'll go to heaven. Yeah...

trombonista said:
Because they'll find it and try to shut the Farms down.

Chick is too old to try that shit.
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I doubt it, the Church of Scientology has so many critics now that a few people on a forum is the least of their worries.
 
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Sparklepants said:
I haaaaaaaaate getting these instead of a tip. Working in the Bible Belt is a lovely thing.
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Oh man I remember getting prayer cards on Sunday morning when the church crowd would stroll in for their coffee and appetizers. It was the strangest thing, the same people that talked against Sunday shopping would go out to a restaurant then talk about seeing a movie in the theater later in the day. As if store workers were somehow more important than all the other people that have been working Sundays up until then.

But yeah, used to get maybe one or two of these a week although it was always with my tip and not as my tip. Even the really religious types that worked there would just bin them the moment they got them.

And if there was a reason to think these people were nuts I remember one woman saying to the table, as I was pouring free refills of coffee, that she never accepted it when somebody wished her good luck because according to her it was a curse. I didn't quite catch the whole thing but the only being that can give out blessings is God and therefore anybody else, even if it's well intentioned, will curse you instead.
 
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Only ever seen one of these once out in the wild. Remember me and my buddies getting a right kick out of it. Havent seen any since though. Maybe ol chick and his tracts are not as "popular" here in canada.

Still wish I could remember which one of them it was.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
Oh man I remember getting prayer cards on Sunday morning when the church crowd would stroll in for their coffee and appetizers. It was the strangest thing, the same people that talked against Sunday shopping would go out to a restaurant then talk about seeing a movie in the theater later in the day. As if store workers were somehow more important than all the other people that have been working Sundays up until then.

But yeah, used to get maybe one or two of these a week although it was always with my tip and not as my tip. Even the really religious types that worked there would just bin them the moment they got them.

And if there was a reason to think these people were nuts I remember one woman saying to the table, as I was pouring free refills of coffee, that she never accepted it when somebody wished her good luck because according to her it was a curse. I didn't quite catch the whole thing but the only being that can give out blessings is God and therefore anybody else, even if it's well intentioned, will curse you instead.
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I don't work Sundays, but I bet it's awful. Saturday night youth groups were the worst. 50 kids, water or iced coffee and they would sit there and not order anything for hours, tip nothing except a mess and a couple tracts.

I get three a week minimum instead of a tip. I guess Jesus is going to pay my rent. They get taped on a wall in the back if it's one we haven't seen before.

One woman asked once if I had been saved, if I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and what version of the Bible I use. Turns out I use the wrong edition, still going to Hell.
 
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AnOminous said:
This is actually my favorite Chick tract, perhaps because I saw it first. It was in some gas station rest room, I believe. I know I would also see them in laundromats sometimes, and phone booths, when those existed.

It has the best Chick line ever, I think.

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Is that the one where a rock band gives up playing Christian music, signs a contract with the Devil (depicted here as 'Lew') and then fall apart in a flurry of drugs and uninhibited sex?
That's a favourite of mine largely for the final line of this page
Satan has the worst presents.gif
 
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In the theme park I used to work at, we'd have to kick someone out at least once a month for literally getting in a huge public place, shouting, and handing these damn things out, and on the way out, they'd have the gall to try to convert all of us workers.
 
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Sparklepants said:
I haaaaaaaaate getting these instead of a tip. Working in the Bible Belt is a lovely thing.
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You philistine! I treasure every Chick Tract I receive. I recently managed to find a street preacher distributing them (no mean feat in Melbourne) and helped myself to a few about homosexuality and dinosaurs.

I've always had trouble laying my hands on physical copies of what I consider the really good ones, e.g., the ones explicitly depicting gay people as child rapists or the ones that have been awkwardly targeted at black people ("Tyrone, you stupid jive turkey!").

There's something to be said for Chick's fine art prints, as well:

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