Creationists - Jack Chick, Kent Hovind, etc.

[Commodore B.S.]

In the theme park I used to work at, we'd have to kick someone out at least once a month for literally getting in a huge public place, shouting, and handing these damn things out, and on the way out, they'd have the gall to try to convert all of us workers.

Just what everyone wants to hear when they go to an amusement park to try and enjoy the day with friends or family: "you are all gonna burn in hell!"

Sweet jesus why.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

It's not Jack Chick, but Ray Comfort (he's a religious propagandist like JTC) used to put out a fake $1 million bill with a gospel message on it that people were supposed to leave out to convert those sinners. I think the Secret Service told him to stop making them because people thought they were real and were trying to cash them.

When I worked at an amusement park one of the stands got one and they pinned it on the corkboard on the back.

The fundies do come up with neat gimmicks, I have to give them that.

 

[autisticdragonkin]

]

I am happy to know that Jack Chick at least can enjoy He-man

 

[Splendid]

Just what everyone wants to hear when they go to an amusement park to try and enjoy the day with friends or family: "you are all gonna burn in hell!"

Believe it or not, this is only the third worst thing that happens in theme parks. The other two are drunken fights and huge groups of South American tourists. The South Americans are always led by some professional guy from a company that does nothing but organize these tours, and they think they're above the rules. More than a few of these people's careers have been brought to an end because they pushed some poor minimum wage employee too far and park security had to throw them out.

Someday, I'll do a dumb shit you didn't know about theme parks thread. I worked at one for quite a while, and my sister did as well.

 

[Ca Ira]

I am happy to know that Jack Chick at least can enjoy He-man

And Lisa Frank.

Spoiler

 

[Konstantinos]

As shit-tier as Jack Chick is, we can at least thank him for the creation of this ancient may may.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

 

[Atlas 95]

And Lisa Frank.

Spoiler

God's city perched on a tower made of Gay Pride colours? A more cynical and psychology inclined individual could make some interested deductions about Mister Chick from this

 

[Pinball Lizard]

God's city perched on a tower made of Gay Pride colours? A more cynical and psychology inclined individual could make some interested deductions about Mister Chick from this

One of Chick's full-length comics, Crusaders, features two muscle-bound young evangelists who sleep in either the same room or actually the same bed and call each other stuff like "bright-eyes."

Very straight.

 

[Rilakkuma]

Sorry you just lost me. Is that from the tract?

Nick Bate's mother. He molested his sister and his mother knew and didn't report him to the police.

 

[Ca Ira]

The exclamation, "YAAAAAAH!" appears repeatedly in Chick Tracts. During my younger days as an enthusiast of godwaful things, I put together a complete compilation of every "YAAAAAAH!" appearing in Chick's corpus. Here it is:

Spoiler: YAAAAAAH!

Spoiler: Cont'd

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

...Well, fuck you too. Also, that's a pretty unorthodox interpretation of Revelations, but whatever you wanna tell yourself, right?

 

[Shrekolas Cage]

I can't be the only one who sees this.

 

[Billy_Sama]

The only crossover comic I would ever read has to be with Chick Track.
With such examples:
Superman versus the Jesuit Conspiracy
Thor and the Nordic Pagan Invasion
Wonderwoman and the Evils of Feminism
Batman and Robin: Pedophile Duo

I am thankful for Jack Christ saving America's hate against Catholics and giving Crazy Gail the belief of the Jesuit conspiracy. Honestly thought, supposedly Jack became a fundie after shit he lived through during the (Korean?) war. You have to see some crazy shit to adopt such impractical and horrid version of Christianity

 

[Bugaboo]

I think those YAAAAAAH are funnier without context

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

the dog in the poster is called Fang by fans - he's in a lot of the tracts too

here's a list of what he's in -

http://www.monsterwax.com/fang.html

 

[Ca Ira]

Okay. I'm posting this image, and then I'm tearing myself away from this thread for awhile.

 

[Pinball Lizard]

View attachment 25745

...Well, fuck you too. Also, that's a pretty unorthodox interpretation of Revelations, but whatever you wanna tell yourself, right?

According to Chick, the Catholic Church's higher-ups are active Satan worshippers trying to send as many souls to Hell as possible. They pretend to be Christian for PR, and the average Catholic in the street doesn't know this. Chick heard this from Alberto Rivera, mentioned previously in the thread, who claimed that once he had reached high enough rank in the Church to be told this information, he got right out of Dodge and started spreading the word to "real" Christians.

Alberto Rivera turned out to be a gigantic liar, but then again that's probably what They want you to think.

Also, apparently Lee Harvey Oswald was a Vatican hitman, and he killed Kennedy on the Pope's orders after Kennedy refused to be a puppet for him.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

According to Chick, the Catholic Church's higher-ups are active Satan worshippers trying to send as many souls to Hell as possible. They pretend to be Christian for PR, and the average Catholic in the street doesn't know this. Chick heard this from Alberto Rivera, mentioned previously in the thread, who claimed that once he had reached high enough rank in the Church to be told this information, he got right out of Dodge and started spreading the word to "real" Christians.

Alberto Rivera turned out to be a gigantic liar, but then again that's probably what They want you to think.

Also, apparently Lee Harvey Oswald was a Vatican hitman, and he killed Kennedy on the Pope's orders after Kennedy refused to be a puppet for him.

That's actually pretty sad. Chick seems to (quite optimistically) think the Vatican is a hell of a lot more competent than it actually is. We can't keep our priests from touching alter boys and making the news, much less run a secret global cabal.

 

[Randall Fragg]

JACK THOMAS CHICK​

This thread is about one of the most repugnant human beings alive, Jack T. Chick. If you live in the English speaking world, you've probably come across one of these pieces of shit. Little black and white "Chick Tracts" that evangelists buy in bulk and either hand out or leave in public spaces for free. They're designed to lead you to Jack Chick's very specific version of Christianity, where if you aren't a born-again Biblical Literalist King James Only Protestant, you are going straight to hell.
"How does this make him a lolcow?" I hear you say. Well, just take a really close look at these fucking comics. Actually read a few, and you'll agree with me, the man is an insane lolcow. Why? Well, there are a few common themes in his artwork, which suggest that he's not such a good Christian after all. Let's take a look at some of them:

This is why we need the Alog rating.
Jack Chick is a nutty nonagenarian who makes hilariously bad cartoons.
He's not Saddam Hussein, Sani Abacha, Idi Amin, or Mao Zedong.
Don't get mad at him. He's your crazy grandpa who's convinced Obama is going to legalize gay marriage as a part of a UN plot to take over America. Just chuckle and shake your head at a Chick Tract. Because they are hilarious.