Cringy & Funny Messages From Men on Dating Sites - They think they're deep because they have seen Fight Club

[lurkin]

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Eggman
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Chadfishing
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Bitch lasagna
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Bitch lasagna is goated.

 

[Hitchhiker]

What’s the thought process here? ‘Hmmm yes this girl looks nice.. oh it’s her birthday! Shall I wish her a nice day as an opener?… no.. no I’ll tell her I’m going to rape and kill her, surely that will win her heart!’

Or perhaps ‘women never talk to me’
‘Have you tried rape threats? Works every time!’

It's probably something along the lines of "Any attention is good attention", same logic as kids that are constantly disruptive in class. I guess he thought that the easiest way to get attention is to threaten people with rape.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Dating apps are the dankest places on the internet, and if I could meet people reliably any other way, I wouldn't be on one.

No one flirts anymore. No one.

My most recent encounter was with a school teacher more than 10 years older than me. He presumed we were going to be dating right from the jump.

He said this (we were both dog people): "So what kind of dog are we adopting together?"

Figured he was being flirty. Met him for coffee. Wasn't a great date, and frankly, I am too charitable with guys that don't seem to realize they're more into me than I am into them.

Next text convo, he's peppering messages with heart/kiss emojis, which is wholly inappropriate even for someone I'm into.

At least the Stage 5 Clingers identify themselves early.

 

[Safir]

What’s the thought process here?

"50+% of women have rape fantasies" or some shit. This gives the scrote a 50+% chance (he thinks) the woman is into it, and a massive advantage (he thinks) over "longhoused" "politically correct" "cowards" who are too chicken to threaten a woman with rape.

 

[Steam Deck Verified]

No one flirts anymore. No one.

"Pretending like we're already together as a way to flirt" is such a lazy cop-out from actually being smooth, and excruciatingly cringe. I can't tell if it's better or worse than guys who have zero game and just sit there awkwardly until you interview them with questions and give them princess treatment.

"I see you like mountain climbing! Tell me about your best experience on a climb"
"Hopefully K2 this time next year, unless you convince me not to wifey, I don't want to leave you a widow "

"Where did you get your dog?"
"Got him from a rescue, surprised they let me adopt as a single parent, glad I found him a stepmommy though "

Men will think it's romantic to just skip the wooing part and go straight to mommy daddy talk. I barely know you, faggot. I'm not going to be grateful just because you didn't open with "choke on my rope." And don't say you don't flirt because you're scared of getting canceled for harassment or whatever because we both know that's hogwash.

 

[Hitchhiker]

"Pretending like we're already together as a way to flirt" is such a lazy cop-out from actually being smooth, and excruciatingly cringe. I can't tell if it's better or worse than guys who have zero game and just sit there awkwardly until you interview them with questions and give them princess treatment.

"I see you like mountain climbing! Tell me about your best experience on a climb"
"Hopefully K2 this time next year, unless you convince me not to wifey, I don't want to leave you a widow "

"Where did you get your dog?"
"Got him from a rescue, surprised they let me adopt as a single parent, glad I found him a stepmommy though "

Men will think it's romantic to just skip the wooing part and go straight to mommy daddy talk. I barely know you, faggot. I'm not going to be grateful just because you didn't open with "choke on my rope." And don't say you don't flirt because you're scared of getting canceled for harassment or whatever because we both know that's hogwash.

What, more like this?

It's creative at least.




TFW no woman like Cassie in my life.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Men will think it's romantic to just skip the wooing part and go straight to mommy daddy talk. I barely know you, faggot. I'm not going to be grateful just because you didn't open with "choke on my rope." And don't say you don't flirt because you're scared of getting canceled for harassment or whatever because we both know that's hogwash.

God damn. Are you me? Because I swear, the only people I encounter anymore are either the velcro guys that do this, or the slightly smoother ones who instead know how to love-bomb.

 

[pentangle]

At least the Stage 5 Clingers identify themselves early.

I truly don't understand the clingyness. With 2/3 actual relationships I've been in, I've been the clingier party by a considerable margin. When I actually know someone and become progressively more committed to them I also become clingier in proportion, which makes sense in my mind (you owe each other more things as you commit and you actually know them better so you have more grounds to start attaching). For some reason, despite this, I've *never* met a wider population of clingy freaks than on apps - they know literally nothing about you and have exchanged like 10 messages with you and have these deranged meltdowns the moment you ghost as if you just ghosted them out of a 5 year relationship. I don't think clingyness is inherently a bad thing, but it is if you're clinging to someone you just patently do not know - you must be projecting straight up schizophrenic delusions on this person.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I don't think clingyness is inherently a bad thing, but it is if you're clinging to someone you just patently do not know - you must be projecting straight up schizophrenic delusions on this person.

That's the thing: if you show me I can trust you and I'm into you, I won't be able to keep my hands off you. That takes time establish that kind of rapport.

But you're right: I think it's the dating apps. It's like the fucking twitter of human dynamics. They're powered by complete mischaracterizations of who you happen to be talking to, because there's an already unnatural stifling of contact and conversation, and no one's going to punch you in the face if you start acting like a moron with boundary issues.

 

[pentangle]

Some of these posts are very funny to read through when they just don't understand the tried and true not looking for anything serious atm just looking to get dinner and hook up works 60% of the time.

I've always wondered about this, since it's so prevalent on shadier dating apps - do women take men up on this? Is there any element of misleading her or is she straight up cool with a meaningless hookup with someone who's almost always ugly/short/scrawny af? What could possibly be in it for a woman?

They're powered by complete mischaracterizations of who you happen to be talking to

I never found success on them and currently am not on them, but everyone I know who's engaged met their person off an app. I have no idea how people pull it off for exactly this reason - they always make their profiles as generic as possible, presumably to reel in as many matches as possible but then it makes it impossible for you to determine if you have anything in common with anyone (so you have to go off of looks alone and most men are just ugly so it inclines you towards left-swiping on everyone).

 

[Psyduck]

Thread 'Social Media Indians'

Dec 2, 2017

In this thread, we make fun of India and weird Indians on social media.

This page about hot indian uncle dads is both repulsive and full of amusing engrish comments.
https://www.facebook.com/Hot-indian-dad-and-uncle-1037680096302916/

• 💗Freddie Freaker💗
• Replies: 1,110
• Forum: Community Watch

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[TonySopranoFan57]

I've always wondered about this, since it's so prevalent on shadier dating apps - do women take men up on this? Is there any element of misleading her or is she straight up cool with a meaningless hookup with someone who's almost always ugly/short/scrawny af? What could possibly be in it for a woman?

That's the secret it really depends on if you look good enough meet whatever height requirements and muscle mass ratio the girl prefers. If you come 100% outright with what I said about going for dinner then hooking up there's very little room for misinterpretation in your motives. If you do a whole song and dance of maybe after we get dinner and hookup we may date dragging her along with the idea of a possible relationship then it becomes misleading if not outright deceptive. For what's in it for the women I'd guess a free meal and sex not being alone for a night? Could be anything their seeking in a one night stand as long as you come across as not a rapist and can have a conversation in person the barriers only sending the message to begin with.

 

[Lady Bizness]

Not message but a special little nugget in a dude's profile. This guy had messaged me and even though right away there was too much beard and gut, I had a look to be polite. Mostly nice guy from what I remember but then there was "the love making will be passionate and there WILL be sweating!"

Every once in awhile I remember that quote and it gives me a little chuckle.

 

[Hinttitroniikka]

This was shortly after meeting in person the first time, and having moved our texting from tinder to whatsapp. We were trying to make plans for the weekend but he was saying he was broke at the moment and didn't know whether he'd been paid yet or what day that would be. All I said to trigger his bizarre reaction was, "Well, just check your account balance."
"What?"
"Just check and then you know what's going on, right?"
"Why? What did you do? [hearts and emojis]" In the moment, I didn't really give a second thought to my inability to understand this message.
So I said, "What? Just look if you don't know if you've been paid yet."
Ten minutes later, he said, "Ah, yeah, I can't go anywhere this weekend."
By then I'd realised he thought I was telling him to check and see that I had somehow, having never got his bank details, deposited him some amount of money. I chose politeness at the time and didn't say anything that would make it more awkward than it already was. I thought it was just a goofy thing in the exhaustion of irregular work and unstable pay. I can sympathise. It did, of course, turn out to be a sign of paranoia of a panopticon or gang-stalking and similar psychosis type of things.

 

[2mm and 99 others]

That guy likely had his bank account seized by court because of debts, and his wage is being sent to someone else's account so the executor can't reach it - that's why he said he doesn't know whether he's been paid or not, cos he can't check it himself immediately.
The paranoia would be understandable then, such guys are looking across their shoulder all the time, cos blokes with iron bars might be on the way.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I have officially entered cringe territory.

In the past month of lethargic matching, I've now matched with two people I've already gone on dates with.

I didn't mean it. I think one didn't either. The other clocked me immediately by asking me about something very specific to me.

I am the cringe one. Fuck my entire existence.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: shit is DANK out there.

 

[Not A Bunny]

Double posting because I had to share.

So, I'm on Bumble and people use those shit icebreakers instead of talking. It is also written directly into my profile that I am a tomboy.

One guy uses "Are you an introvert or extrovert?" In all honesty, I'm an introvert, but I act like an extrovert, because I'm an adult and I have to play the game. I didn't say the last part.

He writes back, "I'm confused. Are you feminine and exhibit feminine behavior, and are submissive to your man?"

I don't know what he meant, but I reflexively unmatch with guys that say creepy shit. I should really screenshot these things.