Culinary Atrocities - Crimes against food

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I tried a fancy cheese from Trader Joe's recently that had a name like "Goblin Mountain" or "Goblin Sweaty Taint" or some shit like that. What did it taste like? Well the other week I spent the better part of the day sweeping up thousands of dead bees that had apparently decided to build a colony in my nasty furnace closet. I can confidently say that the cheese tasted exactly like the stale musty mildewy air of a furnace closet full of decaying bee corpses.

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

This. Just this.

Skip to 3:41 for the horrorshow.

 

[dunbrine47]

I better not find any Kiwi's turkeys in here tomorrow.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

Not a specific food, but I can't stand when restaurants take a perfectly good food and start adding random stuff to it, like bleu cheese or bacon crumbles or sriracha or "aioli", which is just fancy mayonnaise.

The following are all menu items for a restaurant I went to once where all the beverages are served in mason jars:

Local Grilled Cheese
smoked gouda, apple, kale, pecans, whole grain mustard aioli...$13.95
Hush Puppies
bacon onion jam...$6.95
Fried CHICKEN & WAFFLES
chili-infused real maple syrup, sunny egg...$11.95
French Fries
#hollandaiseonfriesandtitties, spicy ketchup, whole grain mustard aioli...$5.95

And while I like pecans, they're not in any way local to the place where this restaurant is.

 

[Somsnosa]

It's just sad when local restaurants are too ashamed of being simple and rustic and gotta add stupid shit on plates or change names of food in something fake-french and pretentious. People come in to eat local food

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

Canned oysters in stuffing.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

"If you can fuck it, you can eat it."

-local farm owner

 

[FleeceMooseJaguar]

Jellied spaghetios garnished with Vienna sausages anyone?

 

[DatBepisTho]

Not a specific food, but I can't stand when restaurants take a perfectly good food and start adding random stuff to it, like bleu cheese or bacon crumbles or sriracha or "aioli", which is just fancy mayonnaise.

The following are all menu items for a restaurant I went to once where all the beverages are served in mason jars:


And while I like pecans, they're not in any way local to the place where this restaurant is.

Ngl I love me a good bacon Bleu burger, but I feel you. Most I've seen here is "Grown-up Grilled Cheese" which sounds like a little kid's euphemism for sex.

 

[Magique]

Here's an atrocity I want to show you.

Spoiler: Pizza?

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Here's an atrocity I want to show you.

Spoiler: Pizza?

People sperg on like pussy ass faggots about pineapple on pizza but BROWN GRAVY MOTHERFUCKER!?

 

[heymate]

Here's an atrocity I want to show you.

Spoiler: Pizza?

People sperg on like pussy ass faggots about pineapple on pizza but BROWN GRAVY MOTHERFUCKER!?

I don't know. It looks weird, and it's very unconventional for a pizza to have fries and gravy as toppings, but I really like pizza, and to me, poutine pizza still looks like it could be potientially tasty. I'd just have to try it and see.

 

[AnOminous]

Here's an atrocity I want to show you.

Spoiler: Pizza?

I thought at first this was one of those okay to eat but not pizza "dessert pizzas." Like an apple pie or something.

But. . .is this. . .is this horrifying thing actually poutine pizza?

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

I thought at first this was one of those okay to eat but not pizza "dessert pizzas." Like an apple pie or something.

But. . .is this. . .is this horrifying thing actually poutine pizza?

Canada deserves POLIO

 

[XYZpdq]

I don't have any objection to the theory of poutine, but throwing it on top of bread seems unappealing.

 

[Ntwadumela]

It's called Pacha. From what I hear the muslims love this stuff.

It’s most popular in Iraq, where the dish originated.
I had it only once and though it tasted alright, it looked absolutely disgusting.

 

[Captain Smollett]

Spoiler: This does not go on pizza

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

Here's an atrocity I want to show you.

Spoiler: Pizza?

Goddamn cunucks....

 

[Somsnosa]

potatoes on pizza is not bad as taste but makes no sense texture wise. And if you put mayo and ketchup you just completely cover the taste, and at that point the pizza is just bread.

 

[Armchair Psychologist]

How drunk do you have to be to want to eat this shit?