Culinary Atrocities - Crimes against food

[Cloaca Rimjob]

My husband has a step mother, her cooking sucks.

How so?

 

[Macreedy_]

This ones really basic, and probably not as bad as other posts. But as a kid, my father used to take twinkies and eat them with spicy brown mustard. Now its like an inside joke at Thanksgiving when Dessert time comes around lol

 

[XYZpdq]

twinkies and eat them with spicy brown mustard

I have no idea how that would turn out but I'm open to try it next time I'm at seven eleven.

 

[Big Scumfuck]

You might want to immediately scroll up because what I am about to show you all is the most disgusting thing humanity ever created.

George H. W. Bush, is that you from the grave?

 

[|>r4I53}{3LI><]

Water chestnuts. Who even thought to eat them???? They taste like fucking nothing and add a disgusting crunch to things that dont ever need it. Beef soup with a styrofoam surprise inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Coffee Druid]

Water chestnuts. Who even thought to eat them???? They taste like fucking nothing and add a disgusting crunch to things that dont ever need it. Beef soup with a styrofoam surprise inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I'm used to having sliced jicama in soups, or strips of bamboo shoots in my thai curries. But having a little bit of crunch in a soup isn't bad.

I've found a few ooold cookbooks while helping to clear some stuff from my boyfriend's mob's house. I wonder if I'll find anything on this level in them.

The "fairy bread" type of stuff reminds me of being a wee child. I loved cinnamon sugar toast, but wasn't allowed to use the oven unattended. So I would mix up margarine, sugar, and cinnamon and just spread that on white bread that was smushed up to make it denser. It was a super shitty "cake"

 

[DuckSucker]

Resurrecting this thread. Because of Red Robin's horrific blasphemy against the sacred Burger. A wizard should know better.

I agree, I hate that the trend now is to add too much cheese, and especially cheese sauce to burgers. I hated the 'juicy lucy' because who wants to bite into something and have it gush fluid into your mouth, especially hot cheese, but now theyre putting like liters of cheese sauce on burger stacks, and even pouring it over the bun in some cases. The concept of more=better is kinda stupid too, there is the concept of diminishing returns.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

You might want to immediately scroll up because what I am about to show you all is the most disgusting thing humanity ever created.

Broccoli can be amazing if cooked right. Steamed and topped with some olive oil and garlic is real good. If you bake it, don't bake fresh unless you cover and add some water or it'll be dry and gross

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Water chestnuts. Who even thought to eat them???? They taste like fucking nothing and add a disgusting crunch to things that dont ever need it. Beef soup with a styrofoam surprise inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disgusting and crunch do not belong in the same sentence. Crucnh with zero calories is a God send.

 

[XYZpdq]

I have no idea how that would turn out but I'm open to try it next time I'm at seven eleven.

okay I got mixed up and got vanilla Zingers instead, peeled off the frosting and dipped it in basic spicy brown
not bad
oddly unremarkable
the Zinger drowns out most of the mustard
maybe there's better results with a stronger mustard like a horseradish one or something and a real twinkie

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

I agree, I hate that the trend now is to add too much cheese, and especially cheese sauce to burgers. I hated the 'juicy lucy' because who wants to bite into something and have it gush fluid into your mouth, especially hot cheese, but now theyre putting like liters of cheese sauce on burger stacks, and even pouring it over the bun in some cases. The concept of more=better is kinda stupid too, there is the concept of diminishing returns.

This kind of bullshit only exists because dumb fatasses love looking at videos of over the top junk food online. I love burgers but my platonic ideal is just a well seasoned grilled patty on a toasted potato bun with a bit of Russian dressing. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

[SITHRAK!]

half-cooked chicken seems to be a thing in america,I've seen some genuine posts on twitter and stuff. It's disgusting as it is terrifying

That was a troll post. Australian woman saved a photo of chicken tataki from the webpage of a Japanese restaurant which has a flock of birds specifically raised for this dish. She then posted it on FB and the misleading context made people lose their shit.
So it’s a real dish but it’s definitely not ‘a thing in America’.

 

[Screamer]

View attachment 3213459
That was a troll post. Australian woman saved a photo of chicken tataki from the webpage of a Japanese restaurant which has a flock of birds specifically raised for this dish. She then posted it on FB and the misleading context made people lose their shit.
So it’s a real dish but it’s definitely not ‘a thing in America’.

It's funny because tourists in Japan often order it unknownly. Then freak the fuck out when they realise they've just eaten raw chicken. Thinking it was fish.

 

[AnOminous]

It's funny because tourists in Japan often order it unknownly. Then freak the fuck out when they realise they've just eaten raw chicken. Thinking it was fish.

And like the previous poster noted, they're generally specially raised and not treated like your standard American grocery store bird, where they're packed and stored in a way that salmonella on one piece is probably on all of them in a package.

 

[Jack Scarefani]

This ones really basic, and probably not as bad as other posts. But as a kid, my father used to take twinkies and eat them with spicy brown mustard. Now its like an inside joke at Thanksgiving when Dessert time comes around lol

Did you dad have the munchies because sounds like something I'd do after getting baked off my ass.

 

[mr.moon1488]

And like the previous poster noted, they're generally specially raised and not treated like your standard American grocery store bird, where they're packed and stored in a way that salmonella on one piece is probably on all of them in a package.

Seems like I remember someone saying it's still not all that safe though.

 

[C.U.N.T.]

Seems like I remember someone saying it's still not all that safe though.

And like the previous poster noted, they're generally specially raised and not treated like your standard American grocery store bird, where they're packed and stored in a way that salmonella on one piece is probably on all of them in a package.

It's jidori chicken, a different breed and grown free range. There's restaurants that specialise in it, raw, cooked, tataki, raw liver, heart etc. Haven't heard of any issues (can't say the same for fugu). Extremely delicious too.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

"Why would you do this to meeeee? How could you? You will paaaay for thisssss. I will personally ensure that you rue the day you decided to kill me... just you wait. Just. You. Wwwwaaaiitttt."
View attachment 315623

Quoting this five year old post to acknowledge that the bat did in fact make good on his threat.

 

[theshep]

 

[Usb2200a]

Water chestnuts. Who even thought to eat them???? They taste like fucking nothing and add a disgusting crunch to things that dont ever need it. Beef soup with a styrofoam surprise inside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you ever get a chance to try fresh water chestnuts they are incredible. They are really good in Chinese red braised pork. The tinned ones suck. Burn them.