CWC jokes

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Why doesn't Chris like Call of Duty?

Because it reminds him of what he has to do every five minutes. (DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS)
 
Why does Chris have boobs?

So he's got something to look at while he's talking to ya!
 
What does Chris always see on his bathroom scale and in a Sonichu comic?

They always say "to be continued"

How does Chris interpret Queen lyrics?

Is this the real life?
Is this just Fanta-Sea?
 
AnchuentProphecy said:
I'm very disappointed in this thread. 10 pages and no CWC themed aristocrats joke.
Click to expand...

A man walks into a talent agent's office...

Man: Sir, I have the next sensation in entertainment! They're a family from rural Virginia!

Agent: A family from Virginia? Sounds good! What do they do?

Man: Well, the patriarch died in 2011, but the chemistry between his widowed wife and their transvestite, Lego-obsessed manchild of a son is undeniable! Barbara Chandler sits slumped on a sofa in front of a TV set all day while quietly suffering from scabies. Christian Weston Chandler runs errands for his mother, and when he's not doing that, he's playing with children's toys, and...

Agent: Wait, does this Christopher guy have any special talents?

Man: Talents? Sure....yeah, he has some talents. He can draw adequately well and he shits his pants daily. In my briefcase is a portfolio of some of Chris's best drawings, and...

Agent: Get the fuck out of here.

Man: But I haven't told you the name of the act yet! What about the special attraction, Cole Smithey, the smartest movie critic in the world?

Agent: Get OUT!

Man: Did I mention Christian is the true and honest creator of Sonichu?

Agent: OUT!

Man: (as he's being escorted out) They're called...THE ARISTOCRATS!
 
The sickest joke of all time, starring OPL, with a guest appearance by Cole.

Cole Smithey and Chris have been drafted into the Army, and sent away to a war. They're in the middle of a fierce battle, hiding in a foxhole, and trying to survive as bullets whiz past their heads, and shells explode around them.

All of a sudden there's a lull in the battle, and complete silence. Chris looks at Cole and says, "Cole, I need to take a dump."

Cole responds, "Not in this foxhole you won't. Go over that hill in the distance, do it there, and get back here before they start shooting again."

So Chris waddles out of the foxhole, and walks up the hill. Just as he disappears from sight, the battle starts again, and Cole is too busy firing his rifle, throwing grenades, and trying not to be killed, that he forgets about Chris.

About half an hour later, there's another lull in the battle. In the silence, Cole suddenly remembers Chris.

"Oh my God!" he thinks. "I sent him out of the foxhole and he got killed in the firefight! How will I ever forgive myself???"

Just as he's at the pit of self-loathing despair, who should hop back into the foxhole but OPL -- unharmed, and in a strangely chipper mood?

"Chris! You're alive! Thank God!" Cole shouts. "What happened?"

Chris says, "Well, I went over the hill to take a dump. Just as I found a good spot and squatted down, the battle started again. I dove for cover into the nearest foxhole. And guess what -- there was a girl in the foxhole!"

Cole, intrigued, says, "Oh yeah?"

Chris responds, "Yeah. She was young and cute. Just my type. Well, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was fucking her. When I was done, I turned her over and fucked her again -- this time in her ass."

Cole says, "Cool! Did she give you head?"

"No, she didn't have one!"
 
PurpleSquirrel said:
The sickest joke of all time, starring OPL, with a guest appearance by Cole.

Cole Smithey and Chris have been drafted into the Army, and sent away to a war. They're in the middle of a fierce battle, hiding in a foxhole, and trying to survive as bullets whiz past their heads, and shells explode around them.

All of a sudden there's a lull in the battle, and complete silence. Chris looks at Cole and says, "Cole, I need to take a dump."

Cole responds, "Not in this foxhole you won't. Go over that hill in the distance, do it there, and get back here before they start shooting again."

So Chris waddles out of the foxhole, and walks up the hill. Just as he disappears from sight, the battle starts again, and Cole is too busy firing his rifle, throwing grenades, and trying not to be killed, that he forgets about Chris.

About half an hour later, there's another lull in the battle. In the silence, Cole suddenly remembers Chris.

"Oh my God!" he thinks. "I sent him out of the foxhole and he got killed in the firefight! How will I ever forgive myself???"

Just as he's at the pit of self-loathing despair, who should hop back into the foxhole but OPL -- unharmed, and in a strangely chipper mood?

"Chris! You're alive! Thank God!" Cole shouts. "What happened?"

Chris says, "Well, I went over the hill to take a dump. Just as I found a good spot and squatted down, the battle started again. I dove for cover into the nearest foxhole. And guess what -- there was a girl in the foxhole!"

Cole, intrigued, says, "Oh yeah?"

Chris responds, "Yeah. She was young and cute. Just my type. Well, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, I was fucking her. When I was done, I turned her over and fucked her again -- this time in her ass."

Cole says, "Cool! Did she give you head?"

"No, she didn't have one!"
Click to expand...

Badum Bish.
 
Why is Chris scared to cross the river?

Because there are trolls hiding under the bridge.
 
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