CWC moved to Central Virginia Regional Jail

[Argh My Cigar]

Sorry to all of you who want to see Chris finally in a real game of kick the autistic, but US prisons aren’t hellholes designed to make the inmates suffer; they exist to rehabilitate & reform. Chris will adapt better than most people expect because structure is something he’s been subconsciously craving for years. He’s going to be marginally less fat at the hearing in a few days and hopefully with his short hair again. Not sure if they’ve been giving him titty skittles or not, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen Chris reasonably trim that it’ll be almost unsettling him seeing him become someone a parent wouldn’t pull their child a little closer when passing them in a Wal-Mart. He’s going to be incarcerated for at least a full year if I had to give a reasonable guess.

 

[Jack Awful]

I wonder if prison has caused Chris to become like Nick Bate. Nick Bate went into jail as a fat, disgusting neck beard, but mugshots of him years later showed he lost it and got muscular.

It'd take years for that to happen. IDK if it's even possible for Chris to be sentenced for that long.

 

[Basedgod]

I wonder if prison has caused Chris to become like Nick Bate. Nick Bate went into jail as a fat, disgusting neck beard, but mugshots of him years later showed he lost it and got muscular.

Yeah there's not a lot else to do in there and as a chomo in jail you really need to be able to physically defend yourself

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Sorry to all of you who want to see Chris finally in a real game of kick the autistic, but US prisons aren’t hellholes designed to make the inmates suffer; they exist to rehabilitate & reform. Chris will adapt better than most people expect because structure is something he’s been subconsciously craving for years. He’s going to be marginally less fat at the hearing in a few days and hopefully with his short hair again. Not sure if they’ve been giving him titty skittles or not, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen Chris reasonably trim that it’ll be almost unsettling him seeing him become someone a parent wouldn’t pull their child a little closer when passing them in a Wal-Mart. He’s going to be incarcerated for at least a full year if I had to give a reasonable guess.

The problem with Chris is that he's a barely functional psychotic, which is masked by his barely functional autism. He'll never get help.

 

[Thomas Highway]

Chris has court on the 16th. There will be no updates until then. Probably a continuation.

So another month of fanfic posts about Chris being in prison.

 

[Rupin]

He will become some dude’s boy in prison and they will do everything together, walk the yard, eat together, lift weights together, everything. Just as long as he gives up that booty.

that’s probably what happened to Bate as well.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

I hope Chris... serves his time, strives to be better, and reforms.

Ha. Nope. Lost cause.

 

[crowqueen]

Sorry to all of you who want to see Chris finally in a real game of kick the autistic, but US prisons aren’t hellholes designed to make the inmates suffer; they exist to rehabilitate & reform. Chris will adapt better than most people expect because structure is something he’s been subconsciously craving for years. He’s going to be marginally less fat at the hearing in a few days and hopefully with his short hair again. Not sure if they’ve been giving him titty skittles or not, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen Chris reasonably trim that it’ll be almost unsettling him seeing him become someone a parent wouldn’t pull their child a little closer when passing them in a Wal-Mart. He’s going to be incarcerated for at least a full year if I had to give a reasonable guess.

I don't know where you're getting your information from about American jails being all about reform and therefore safe and wonderful places to be, but terrible things can and do happen to inmates all the time whether it be at the hands of staff or other prisoners. I would not be shocked at all if Chris has already gotten his ass kicked several times by now.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Chris has court on the 16th. There will be no updates until then. Probably a continuation.

So another month of fanfic posts about Chris being in prison.

I don't know why I keep reading threads in the CWC subforum because nothing will actually happen until this date (and nothing may happen even on that date) and KF has some of the absolute worst takes about prison that I've ever seen.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Tl;dr we gotta wait for da update from jail

 

[Optimus Prime]

Sorry to all of you who want to see Chris finally in a real game of kick the autistic, but US prisons aren’t hellholes designed to make the inmates suffer; they exist to rehabilitate & reform. Chris will adapt better than most people expect because structure is something he’s been subconsciously craving for years. He’s going to be marginally less fat at the hearing in a few days and hopefully with his short hair again. Not sure if they’ve been giving him titty skittles or not, but it’s been so long since we’ve seen Chris reasonably trim that it’ll be almost unsettling him seeing him become someone a parent wouldn’t pull their child a little closer when passing them in a Wal-Mart. He’s going to be incarcerated for at least a full year if I had to give a reasonable guess.

The problem with this take is that Chris...does not want to change. We have an entire wiki that documents his life and if absolutely nothing else, it shows that when given the opportunity time and time again, Chris will not do anything more to change if it doesn't involve immediate reward in the short term. It's how for literally decades he's been played the fool time and again by numerous parties. Moreover, it's why CWCville blossomed from his fantasy toontown alt. universe into something he genuinely thinks is going to Fringe-style merge into our own reality and he's going to be the Sailor Neptune knockoff video game persona goddess of his dreams - that idiotic fantasy is literally his endgame, as opposed to doing something simple as the myriad of ways his life could exponentially improve if he made the effort to do so much as change a few bad habits.

Sure, he may eventually grow to like the structured reality that is prison life, but rehab requires the participant to actively want to be rehabilitated. Chris has never seen anything wrong with how he lives and if he were released from jail it's more likely than not he'd simply go back to the way he was living before. He lacks ambition. This is why when he gets all worked up over something enough he actually deviates from his usual going-through-the-motions life, it's notable, the last case being him being so outrageously mad at the existence of MLP G5 that he legitimately punched holes into the walls of 14BC to "try and break the boundaries" or some stupid shit in trying to escape to CWCVille world, as his claims to Hasbro that G5 would fuck everything over (remember he still thinks cartoon characters are real and had to bootleg backdoor Simonla back to life to get around a logical fault of his own creation) simply because G5 has no place in CWCville...yet, obviously.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

The problem with this take is that Chris...does not want to change. We have an entire wiki that documents his life and if absolutely nothing else, it shows that when given the opportunity time and time again, Chris will not do anything more to change if it doesn't involve immediate reward in the short term. It's how for literally decades he's been played the fool time and again by numerous parties. Moreover, it's why CWCville blossomed from his fantasy toontown alt. universe into something he genuinely thinks is going to Fringe-style merge into our own reality and he's going to be the Sailor Neptune knockoff video game persona goddess of his dreams - that idiotic fantasy is literally his endgame, as opposed to doing something simple as the myriad of ways his life could exponentially improve if he made the effort to do so much as change a few bad habits.

Sure, he may eventually grow to like the structured reality that is prison life, but rehab requires the participant to actively want to be rehabilitated. Chris has never seen anything wrong with how he lives and if he were released from jail it's more likely than not he'd simply go back to the way he was living before. He lacks ambition. This is why when he gets all worked up over something enough he actually deviates from his usual going-through-the-motions life, it's notable, the last case being him being so outrageously mad at the existence of MLP G5 that he legitimately punched holes into the walls of 14BC to "try and break the boundaries" or some stupid shit in trying to escape to CWCVille world, as his claims to Hasbro that G5 would fuck everything over (remember he still thinks cartoon characters are real and had to bootleg backdoor Simonla back to life to get around a logical fault of his own creation) simply because G5 has no place in CWCville...yet, obviously.

Chris is psychotic. Psychotic people don't rape their mothers, but they do lack insight insight into their illness, which is why he can't and won't change. What's really unique about Chris is that even if you do manage to somehow force meds into him and make him shower, change, and act civilized...it can only be accomplished under therapeutic milieu. Once he's released into society, the sweet, sweet air of freedom will react negatively with his psycho tard genes, instantly turning him back into a hideous, fat retard who babbles like a moron and knows no boundaries.

 

[Vexillology]

I'm sincerely curious what he's drawing. I wonder if his drawings reflect his new reality at all, or if he's just drawing pony doodles.

 

[Coldgrip]

I don't know where you're getting your information from about American jails being all about reform and therefore safe and wonderful places to be, but terrible things can and do happen to inmates all the time whether it be at the hands of staff or other prisoners. I would not be shocked at all if Chris has already gotten his ass kicked several times by now.

I think you're mistaking prison for jail. While bad shit can happen in jail, people there are more interested in serving their time and getting out than beating the tar out of a greaseball like Chris.

So beating? Probably not. Intimidated? More likely. Even then, unless the inmate in question is a complete idiot, most are just going to either ignore Chris or scare him off.

 

[PostChrisReroll]

I think you're mistaking prison for jail. While bad shit can happen in jail, people there are more interested in serving their time and getting out than beating the tar out of a greaseball like Chris.

So beating? Probably not. Intimidated? More likely. Even then, unless the inmate in question is a complete idiot, most are just going to either ignore Chris or scare him off.

Jails often have more inmates and fewer (long term) convicts, but this at best a loose-to-moderate trend and SARS II: Electric Boogaloo has thrown everything in chaos. Jails are generally designed for both pre- and post-conviction confinement, but the proportions vary considerably. Even pre-coof someone might spend years in jail before being transferred to a prison. Regardless, if you find the difference between jail and prison relative to the free world more than a rounding error, you are mistaken. I would not be surprised if Chris has already been conned or threatened into giving up cash, by a guard if not a prisoner.

Worst case from a societal perspective: "Monthly Tugboat" gains popularity among the incacerated and spreads throughout low income communities.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Worst case from a societal perspective: "Monthly Tugboat" gains popularity among the incacerated and spreads throughout low income communities.

Truly a marker of the decline of our civilization

 

[Pointless Sperg]

The problem with this take is that Chris...does not want to change. We have an entire wiki that documents his life and if absolutely nothing else, it shows that when given the opportunity time and time again, Chris will not do anything more to change if it doesn't involve immediate reward in the short term. It's how for literally decades he's been played the fool time and again by numerous parties. Moreover, it's why CWCville blossomed from his fantasy toontown alt. universe into something he genuinely thinks is going to Fringe-style merge into our own reality and he's going to be the Sailor Neptune knockoff video game persona goddess of his dreams - that idiotic fantasy is literally his endgame, as opposed to doing something simple as the myriad of ways his life could exponentially improve if he made the effort to do so much as change a few bad habits.

There's a huge difference between wanting something in the future and actually placing yourself mentally on the path to achieving that future. Wanting something in the future that you wish could have now is still a *present desire*, working toward that future requires avoiding present desire. Different people have different levels of ability for this, Chris has basically none. This is the part that needs to change, but he can't change it.

Chris is not incapable of change. Witness his attitudes about gay pride and such. If a girl has Chris' attention he will do ANYTHING for her, including many, many things that he might not want to do. If he had a full-time china-bearing tard wrangler that would only put out when Chris did something productive for the future, that stayed with him 24/7, he could potentially be incredibly successful.

What wouldn't change is his inability to prioritize anything other than present stimulus. All it would take was success girl going to the store in a few hours and some other thing seizing his attention, and all the gains could be undone. Chris only changes based on what's happening in his head in the present.

That's why all the trolls who tried to change Chris for the better failed. They knew Chris would do stuff if a semi-attractive girl told him to do something, but that's because he was always doing short term actions under immediate prodding. "Go get a job" or "work out regularly" is different than "shove a medallion up your butt right this instant". If said hot girl was there, particularly if they were there in person, standing over Chris' shoulder, telling him what to do. He would do productive things.

And it's not like Chris doesn't like doing productive things, even if he lacks the skills to be very good at it. He just lacks the ability to motivate himself to do productive things. He goes with whatever immediate stimulus tells him to do.

I have a strong suspicion that Chris has a lot in common with George R. R. Martin in certain aspects of this.

 

[Shovel Mech Pilot]

Sometimes I do wonder if being forceably separated from his toys for over a long period of time - right now over a month but certainly much longer than that by the time this reaches its conclusion - might change his perspective in some ways. Could it break the addiction? I don't know. But Chris, somewhere in there, has the potential for a reasonably normal life if he wasn't so lazy and hyperfixated on useless things. The jail saga might not break the first one but it might break the second one. I guess we will have to see.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Sometimes I do wonder if being forceably separated from his toys for over a long period of time - right now over a month but certainly much longer than that by the time this reaches its conclusion - might change his perspective in some ways. Could it break the addiction? I don't know. But Chris, somewhere in there, has the potential for a reasonably normal life if he wasn't so lazy and hyperfixated on useless things. The jail saga might not break the first one but it might break the second one. I guess we will have to see.

It's quite possible that he'll develop a new fixation with whatever entertains him the most that is available to him in jail. Chris needs stimulation. He'll either find it in his mental fantasies, but those are never as good as something in the real world if it's available and if it makes him feel good. So if there's something, ANYTHING, that he finds pleasant in jail, he will undoubtedly fixate on it.

Of course put any of his old joys in front of him and there's a good chance they'll win out. Whatever ring of jingly keys is the shiniest.

 

[LiquidKid]

Chris is not incapable of change. Witness his attitudes about gay pride and such. If a girl has Chris' attention he will do ANYTHING for her, including many, many things that he might not want to do. If he had a full-time china-bearing tard wrangler that would only put out when Chris did something productive for the future, that stayed with him 24/7, he could potentially be incredibly successful.

Not exactly. The common trend with every one of Chris’s “potential sweethearts” was Chris’s unwillingness to actually try. He has always gone for the easiest possibly method because he wants to be given sex, he doesn’t want to actually earn a relationship.
His sign he used to carry around wasn’t there because he wanted to find someone, he wanted someone to find him and apply. He went after that girl that pretended to be into liquid Chris because he saw that as an easy get, he went after JULIEEEEEEH because “she” messaged him first.
And remember when he made his “I’m starting a sonichu company” video? Part of that was he was looking to hire a slim, attractive, Kung fu lesbian to do all of his chores, create a cartoon he has full creative control and starring roles in, potentially fuck him, and most importantly, find him a girlfriend and coach him on lesbian sex techniques. He wanted this because despite making his “love quest” his sole reason for existence since high school, Chris has no desire to do anything to actually get a woman to want to be a part of his life. He’s rather use axe body wash in the hopes that the commercials were accurate, or try and get people to attend a totally not creepy “lesbian slumber party.”

Chris wasn’t even willing to break his “PS Triple” to get with “Jackie” when at the same time he has already destroyed a PS3 for seemingly no reason.