There's two things you need to know about me if you want to know how I, a person who barely watched anime outside of yu-gi-oh in junior high, crossed paths with a weeaboo: I love sushi, and I fucking love free food. It just so happens that our local Japanese/anime club had copious amounts of both at their intro meeting. So one boring Friday night I decided to roll through, grab some cali rolls, and leave before being forced to talk to anyone. Walking in, I see the sushi spread... way in the back of the big meeting room, with an ocean of people between me and sweet, sweet raw fish. I nimbly slide between the headband wearing ensemble and am almost at the finish line when I bump into her. The first thing I notice are her jet black eyes, which instantly cower away from my gaze like she'd just walked in on her parents. She was some type of Asian (Filipino I later found out) and had this lily-white, almost translucent skin. Her hair was tied up in pigtails with neon pink streaks running through, and she had on what I could only describe as a very involved baby blue french maid type outfit. All I knew at that point, however, was there was something about this girl that drew me to her.
She uttered a startled "gomenasai", (I would learn more foreign vocab from this girl in a few weeks than I did from 2 years of Spanish) after which I introduced myself and we started talking. Her name was Mimi, she wanted to be a voice actress, and I honestly could not care less about most of the things that came out of her mouth. Don't get me wrong, she was really nice, but once Mimi got to talking about some anime that interested her, it would be a solid 5 minutes before you would even get a chance to reciprocate. Oh man was this girl flirty though. Whenever I did get to speak she'd bat her little eyelashes and look at me like I was the most interesting man in the world (I'm not, I'm an idiot). Just being near her was awakening some sort of weird, primal lust in me and right as I was about to ask what she was doing later... some douche with baggy cargo pants and an equally ill-fitting anime t-shirt interrupted us. Turns out homeboy was the club president, Mimi was his VP, and there were "important" club duties to attend to. Before he dragged her off, she gave me her number on a Hello Kitty sticky note, winked and blew me a kiss, then skipped off.
We started texting the next day, and Mimi's flirtatiousness kept escalating. It was also around this time that she started to call me "niichan", which would have been the biggest red flag outside of China if A) I knew what it meant and B) was not already in way too deep with this girl. She kept asking about my bedroom habits and coyly teasing me with replies like "oooh that sounds interesting
". This all came to a head when during some management class, I get a text from her and open it up only to instantly regret that decision. Mimi thought it would be fun to send a picture of herself, from the neck down, with just one arm covering her breasts in lieu of any clothing. I instantly shut my phone off, prayed the people behind me didn't see, and then right after class ended jogged to my dorm and jerked off. Yes, I'm aware I'm not doing the greatest job with the whole "have people not judge me" thing, but could I score some points for honesty? No? Okay I'll just move on.
The sexting got progressively wilder, and a week after we met Mimi finally told me that she wouldn't send any more pictures, but had a special surprise for me at the next club meeting. For the first time in my life, I was excited to go to an anime club, and found myself marking my calendar to the fateful day. As soon as I arrived she ran up and hugged me like we hadn't seen each other in years. The meeting was just a showing of some weeby movie, but Mimi stayed glued to me when she wasn't enthusiastically singing along to all of the songs. Her public displays of affection and overall behavior were so fucking obnoxious they started attracting annoyed glances from the rest of the people, and even I started to get uncomfortable. Mercifully the movie ended after a few hours, and we both head back to her room. I still had some slight hesitation about getting involved with Mimi, but every time she looked at me and flashed that bubbly smile, I felt reassured.
We arrived at her dorm and Mimi wasted no time with foreplay and got right onto the "special surprise". What transpired next was incredible; this girl was going at it like a pornstar and the only thing holding us back was my shitty stamina. She said she loved me after we finished, to which I responded "me too" without even thinking. Another missed red flag, but I was having the honeymooniest of honeymoon phases and wasn't exactly operating at full mental capacity. Unfortunately, nothing could have prepared me for the sheer amount of crazy that was soon to follow.
The Tuesday after my sexual reawakening I was heading back to my room after class when the anime club president came up to me. Wearing the same cargo shorts and anime shirt I'd seen him in at every meeting, he told me he was in love with "Mimi-chan" and wanted to know if there was something between us. I wondered how oblivious this dude could be, and confirmed his worst fears; he did not handle it well. Anime club president was on the verge of tears, and as I began to offer my condolences he ran off into the distance. The minute I get home I called Mimi, asking if she knew anything about this. Apparently she drunkenly gave him a handjob in his car at some club party last semester, and he kept sending her love letters and gifts no matter how much she told him she wasn't interested. I told her she should probably talk to him one last time, and went to sleep thinking that my worries were over. They were anything but.
A few days after that was my school's suit-and-tie-mandatory business career mixer; a pretty important event for most of us where we meet prospective employers. As I'm heading over to the mixer with a group of friends, someone jumps on me from behind. Three guesses as to who it was, and Jesus Christ she was still wearing the fucking maid outfit. My heart sinks, all of my friends are confused, and Mimi starts rubbing her head into my chest and making "nya" sounds, like a cat. The intense rush of embarrassment brings with it all of the red flags I had missed before in one fell swoop. She asks me when I'm coming over for "playtime" again, and then informs me that the anime club president will no longer be bothering us since she told him that I WOULD BEAT HIM UP IF HE EVER BOTHERED HER AGAIN. The only thing running through my head at this point are the words "oh shit" on a loop. I tell her I'll meet her later and she says "OK" and does some weeby peace sign thing. Keep in mind all of this transpired in front of my friends, whose collective jaws had hit the floor. When I get home from the mixer, I decided to Google what "niichan" meant, since she kept calling me that, and the results hit me like a train. As I googled the rest of the mangled Japanese phrases she used with me, the meanings got progressively more disturbing. I stopped looking them up shortly after.
That was two days ago, and I've been pretending everything is normal with her since that incident. I'm honestly terrified of what she'll do if I end it, and this shit is freaking me out. So if you've got any advice on how to let her down easy, please let me know quickly because my friends find this too hilarious to help and I really cannot keep seeing this girl.
