- Joined
- May 10, 2020
I never dated.
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Oh hush it was a joke.imagine spending $2000 on a rock
The only joke here is your sex life.Oh hush it was a joke.
you're a madlad holy shitNot a dating story but funny
I was once a welder. One of my coworkers was into fantasy stuff and cooked up an idea to make a large dragon sculpture made from drink cans and take it to a regional convention for anime/fantasy/scifi fans. I and a few other guys agreed. After a few weeks of downing beers and sodas we had finished the dragon, rented a flatbed, and moved it to the convention. We ended up winning the contest I was unaware we had been entered in, and were given VIP passes for the remainder of the convention. The convention hall was joined to a large fancy hotel. The showroom had closed so I went to the hotel bar and paid far too much for watered down golden grain. As I wandered around looking for something interesting to do and came across a piano.
I sat there playing for a good bit, impressing a few passersby, taking a few requests, that sort of thing. Some woman comes up near me to ask if she can film, I say "only if you play with me... wait... I didn't mean it like that" she giggled and said she didn't know how. I said I would show her and did so, teaching her 3 chords. Her friend comes up and says they need to be going, as she begins to walk away she calls out "We'll be in room 5__2" I couldn't make out fully what room she said and at the time didn't really care. I began to care when a friend explained to me that as I played with her, she looked towards her friends, pointed at me then gestured a pelvic thrust a few times. She suddenly became interesting to me.
The evening went on. I stopped at the guitar hero battle of the bands, got more drunk with a Borat cosplayer, had a very heated altercation with a bathroom door, and was informed room parties were happening. I did not know what a room party was but was informed they are like stag parties, but for nerds. I remembered the pelvic thrust lady and decided I wanted to find her room. I asked a worker where the rooms staring with 5 and ending with 2 were, she directed me to the elevators and off I went. After trying the first 3 and with a few more to go, I noticed the next door was slightly open. I rationalized "maybe it didn't end with 2, maybe I misheard" and opened the door. I walked in and it was dim. Within a few steps I was greeted by the sight of a very fat women on a bed in what looked like a toga with a few people around her in different costumes smacking at her body with what appeared to be tentacles on sticks. I audibly gasped at the hilarity before me and was met with someone screeching "GET THE FUCK OUT!" before being bumrushed but most of them and shoved out the door. I fell backward and bonked my head on the wall.
People from the surrounding rooms came out to see what the commotion was, one of which was the lady from earlier. We did not have sex that night, but we did eventually.
Nothing ventured, nothing lost. Consequences are for your 40s and fear of social backlash is for highschool.you're a madlad holy shit
We got him boys, we know Crankenstein is over 40 nowNothing ventured, nothing lost. Consequences are for your 40s and fear of social backlash is for highschool.
I wish, I'd have an excuse be racist then.We got him boys, we know Crankenstein is over 40 now
you've thrown me off again. i'll come back to you with my file on youI wish, I'd have an excuse be racist then.
No need to be mean pal. But good one nonetheless.The only joke here is your sex life.
Sorry I couldn't resist lol.No need to be mean pal. But good one nonetheless.
I don't blame ya, we all get that feelin'.Sorry I couldn't resist lol.
pics or it didn't happenFuck it, Islam time. I don’t even know if this counts as a date, but I don’t think much on this thread does anymore.
So, one night I unexpectedly got off work an hour or so early due to some management nonsense. I decided to send a message to this guy who I was chatting up online, but never actually met. Turns out he was free and ready, so I make my way down to his place.
First, I got the house number wrong. I almost knocked on some random persons door at 10:30 at night before I double checked, because the description of the house didn’t match up.
After jogging my dumb ass down to the right place, the door is open and the lights are all off. This is when I start to think this will be a weird night. Then this outline of a chubby person in a maid outfit appeared. This is when I knew this was going to be a weird night.
And, then the outline spoke. In a voice like Al Pachino’s Scarface trying to sound like an anime girl, he said, “Hey man, glad you made it. Call me Isabella.” He then sat me on the smallest ottoman in the world, keep in mind it’s still very dark, and then we did what you would expect.
It was not exactly great, but by God did Isabella try.
As far as I’m concerned, I got a story out of it and that’s a win.
Wait, are you a gay?Fuck it, Islam time. I don’t even know if this counts as a date, but I don’t think much on this thread does anymore.
So, one night I unexpectedly got off work an hour or so early due to some management nonsense. I decided to send a message to this guy who I was chatting up online, but never actually met. Turns out he was free and ready, so I make my way down to his place.
First, I got the house number wrong. I almost knocked on some random persons door at 10:30 at night before I double checked, because the description of the house didn’t match up.
After jogging my dumb ass down to the right place, the door is open and the lights are all off. This is when I start to think this will be a weird night. Then this outline of a chubby person in a maid outfit appeared. This is when I knew this was going to be a weird night.
And, then the outline spoke. In a voice like Al Pachino’s Scarface trying to sound like an anime girl, he said, “Hey man, glad you made it. Call me Isabella.” He then sat me on the smallest ottoman in the world, keep in mind it’s still very dark, and then we did what you would expect.
It was not exactly great, but by God did Isabella try.
As far as I’m concerned, I got a story out of it and that’s a win.
FAG ALERT HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHI’m not sharing pics of them, that would be rude.
But here’s the chats, so you can see my Chadness at play.
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Oh yeah, also turns out they were housesitting.
Yeah, sure.
You’re only jealous you didn’t get that mediocre bussy.FAG ALERT HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH