Artcow David "Walky" Willis / Shortpacked - Fingerwagging Cishet Shitlord

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Can we get some examples of his porn? It'd be easier to laugh at if we could see it.

Can't seem to find the original uncensored version at the moment, but I did manage to find the 4Chan censored edits

 

[DrJoshii]

"Muh christian parents"

Willis in a nutshell.

 

[Smelvin]

The BWW article linked several times in this thread has it, I believe.

Man oh man am I glad to see a thread on this jackass! In my first post in the Dobson thread I did a pretty detailed rundown on the specifics of what, exactly, is wrong with Dobbo's art, and his simultaneous progression and lack thereof. But I can safely say even Andrew fucking Dobson, for all his Sweet-Bro-Hella-Jeff-Thu'um-Faces and punchable teddy bears still draws better than this human trainwreck. And make no mistake, Willis is a trainwreck. I mean, you've already seen his god damn shrine to a single Transformers character no one but him even knew existed.

What I really love about this guy, though, is how damaged he is. Specifically in regards to his parents. His parents were apparently devout Christians that made him go to church and di the whole "Jesus knows when you..." spiel. Apparently they spoiled him way too god damn much because now he's this fat asshole with an entitlement complex who, even in his 30's, is still metaphorically screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP MAHM" through the door. Even in his comic you can see it (not that he's subtle about it). Not only does he consistently depict Christians as morons (not other religions, mind you. For they are minorities and can do no wrong in his euphoric eyes), but he regularly depicts parents in a negative light. Abusive parents, psycho parents, dead parents, you name it. The man is just disgusted by the concept of people that raise children. He is, quite literally, a manchild. He surrounds himself with toys (and I got nothing against collectors or hobbyists but jesus fucking christ), he's in a constant state of rebellion against his parents, he internalizes every criticism given to him and lashes out in the most petulant manner possible, and he has it in his head that he's brilliant and everything he says and does is right.

David Willis is, in every way a man can be; a jackass.

And will someone tell this mother fucker that human beings have actual eyes?! With sclera?!

 

[DrJoshii]

Do you the strip where someone photoshopped Giorno into his comic? That was amusing

 

[BILLY MAYS]

Say what you will about Dobson, at least Dobson still has better text to image ratio compared to this guy from the comics I saw in here.

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

View attachment 54596

I think one of the more subtly retarded parts is that he tries to describe thin as "lean" when Batman already qualifies as lean because he's not fat.

 

[DrJoshii]

I think one of the more subtly retarded parts is that he tries to describe thin as "lean" when Batman already qualifies as lean because he's not fat.

Not to mention that there are a lot of super heros that fits the description (i.e - every male member of the Teen Titans like robin, beast boy, kid flash, etc.)

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Not to mention that there are a lot of super heros that fits the description (i.e - every male member of the Teen Titans like robin, beast boy, kid flash, etc.)

Wouldn't Green Lanterns count since their abilities are based on will power & not physical strength?

https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/image-jpg.54450/

 

[Accel_Rider]

Lean body, built for dexterity? Large and intense eyes? Hmm

Minus the rosy cheeks and kissable lips I suppose

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

Lean body, built for dexterity? Large and intense eyes? Hmm
View attachment 54599

Minus the rosy cheeks and kissable lips I suppose

Well you see, that's Marvel so it doesn't count. If we were counting Marvel, that means he couldn't generalize the entire medium & he'd have to answer for Spider-Man, Loki, ect.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

What I hate most about this clownfish is that he apparently hasn't had a new idea since college. Write a webcomic about college? Sure, using all the characters I made up as a kid!* And I'll set it at my actual college! And have the characters act out my own adolescent angst about rejecting my Christian upbringing and hating to go to class!

It's also creepy for a white dude to draw himself as a mysteriously multi-racial dude. The end.


*I remember people mocking him elsewhere for posting his childhood drawings of Ultracar/Carla, the transTransformer.**

**I hate how the characters go from Shortpacked! to Dumbing of Age with no consistent similarity or difference in personalities, except that Mike is always an asshole and Ultracar is always a trans lesbian.

 

[Slowboat to China]

By the end of it, I was pretty much only reading Shortpacked for Mike, and that was because he was the only one who ever beat the shit out of the characters like they all blatantly deserved. Anything likeable in them (and there were a few things in the beginning) just got sucked out and replaced by Tumblrisms and straw. I don't know if the guy himself qualifies as a lolcow, but he definitely has bovine tendencies.

And yeah, that Batman is creepy.

 

[Xarpho]

The BWW article linked several times in this thread has it, I believe.

I checked the Imgur link, unfortunately it seemed to be down. I'm sure it's floating around on 4chan though.

And will someone tell this mother fucker that human beings have actual eyes?! With sclera?!

Most everyone seems to have some sort of variation on the Mickey Mouse "pie eyes", but instead of making them look likable and endearing, they all just have tiny, beady eyes.

 

[Accel_Rider]

So I decided to check the Bad Webcomics Wiki to see what more can I find about this guy and wow, he is thin-skinned.

 

[MY 405]

Lean body, built for dexterity? Large and intense eyes? Hmm
View attachment 54599

Minus the rosy cheeks and kissable lips I suppose

There is nothing NOT kissable about Kurt Wagner!

 

[Le Bateleur]

The BWW article linked several times in this thread has it, I believe.

Man oh man am I glad to see a thread on this jackass! In my first post in the Dobson thread I did a pretty detailed rundown on the specifics of what, exactly, is wrong with Dobbo's art, and his simultaneous progression and lack thereof. But I can safely say even Andrew fucking Dobson, for all his Sweet-Bro-Hella-Jeff-Thu'um-Faces and punchable teddy bears still draws better than this human trainwreck. And make no mistake, Willis is a trainwreck. I mean, you've already seen his god damn shrine to a single Transformers character no one but him even knew existed.

What I really love about this guy, though, is how damaged he is. Specifically in regards to his parents. His parents were apparently devout Christians that made him go to church and di the whole "Jesus knows when you..." spiel. Apparently they spoiled him way too god damn much because now he's this fat asshole with an entitlement complex who, even in his 30's, is still metaphorically screaming "SHUT THE FUCK UP MAHM" through the door. Even in his comic you can see it (not that he's subtle about it). Not only does he consistently depict Christians as morons (not other religions, mind you. For they are minorities and can do no wrong in his euphoric eyes), but he regularly depicts parents in a negative light. Abusive parents, psycho parents, dead parents, you name it. The man is just disgusted by the concept of people that raise children. He is, quite literally, a manchild. He surrounds himself with toys (and I got nothing against collectors or hobbyists but jesus fucking christ), he's in a constant state of rebellion against his parents, he internalizes every criticism given to him and lashes out in the most petulant manner possible, and he has it in his head that he's brilliant and everything he says and does is right.

David Willis is, in every way a man can be; a jackass.

And will someone tell this mother fucker that human beings have actual eyes?! With sclera?!

^Exhibit A in the case that this and the Dobson thread are the new Entersphere.

"I don't like the cartoons they draw" + "muh SJ-Dubs!" =/= Lolcow

 

[*Asterisk*]

This was a great idea for a thread, @Twilight Sparkle. Kudos, mano.

I actually like Willis's art better than Dobson's. It feels less stiff, more lively, and the colors are a lot less gharish. He's not within pissing distance of the same time zone as an actually great comic artist like Bill Watterson, but I wouldn't compare it to the Blue Bear's mummification setup.

His politics and his spergery, though? I think he blows even Dobbo away. He should thank his lucky stars Carlos LaTuff and Ted Rall have set the bar so low for contemptible leftard cartoonists.

 

[GH 356]

For those who requested his porn comics, NSFW links spoilered ahead:

Spoiler: they're pretty bad

Walky Performs a Sex
My Lesbian
Mask or No Mask

 

[MarvinTheParanoidAndroid]

For those who requested his porn comics, NSFW links spoilered ahead:

Spoiler: they're pretty bad

Walky Performs a Sex
My Lesbian
Mask or No Mask

Embed them. I'm not following those links.

 

[QT 219]

For those who requested his porn comics, NSFW links spoilered ahead:

Spoiler: they're pretty bad

Walky Performs a Sex
My Lesbian
Mask or No Mask

My eyes fucking melted at its sheer awkwardness. Why do these types of people treat sex like a weird joke?