Death Pool 2013

[Francine StripeCheer]

Diabeetus would finish him off quickly.

Why is there no option to say "A-log goes nuts and kills chris for attention"
It doesnt even have to be a-log, it could be some sort of epic ween kid, who thinks that killing everyone's favorite lolcow would be hilarious. Which it wouldn't.

Im totally not saying any of us should start poisoning his food with toxic pickles.

LOL I put a carbomb under Son-Chu and set up a camera so when Dat MAN-CHILD drives to Cwcki-D's to waste TAXPAYER MONEY on McNuggets He will be blown SKY HIGH EBIN WEEB JULAY

The car crash one seemed most likely to me.

He only drives about 1000 miles a year, tops, so not much risk.

 

[aspirin]

Car crash from trying to run Snyder over again.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

I can never see Chris seriously attempting suicide. If it appeared he hanged himself in his room I'd assume it was murder before suicide.

Last time I checked they don't make nooses with velcro straps.

 

[Holdek]

Chris will outlive us all.

If Chris lives longer than I do. I'll buy you a steak.

You can't. You'll be dead.

Crushed to death by gigantic pile of naked men.

LOL

Yeah I don't know why I said that, I just figured that Rocky would have a really kind heart to take Chris into her care. But I don't think she could put up with his bullshit.

oh we can tell, she's kind from all she's done for them, but to take on the burden of Our Pet Lolcow? probably not. she may try to direct him in the right direction, but if there is any indication from his missive to the church, he's already given up on listening to her.

Oh no, Chris hasn't done anything different as far as Rocky herself goes.

Even after he told her she was worthless?

I suspect that after Barb dies, he'll freeze to death on the roadside in winter. AFAIK Virginia has a warm climate but it still can get rather cold in winter? So after Snorlax's demise, he'll eiher get kicked out of the house due to not paying rent (which would be stressful) or his heating gets cut off due to him not paying utilities (which would be stressful). So he'll probably be brought down by the cold of a winter night, with the PSP still clutched in his stiff MANOS...

It'd be paying the mortgage, rather. But yeah, I'm not sure he'd know much about the mortgage, so that might happen. But he'd easily pay his utility bills.

I thought he said they owned the house in full?

 

[Marvin]

oh we can tell, she's kind from all she's done for them, but to take on the burden of Our Pet Lolcow? probably not. she may try to direct him in the right direction, but if there is any indication from his missive to the church, he's already given up on listening to her.

Oh no, Chris hasn't done anything different as far as Rocky herself goes.

Even after he told her she was worthless?

Even if he did say that about her, yes.

I suspect that after Barb dies, he'll freeze to death on the roadside in winter. AFAIK Virginia has a warm climate but it still can get rather cold in winter? So after Snorlax's demise, he'll eiher get kicked out of the house due to not paying rent (which would be stressful) or his heating gets cut off due to him not paying utilities (which would be stressful). So he'll probably be brought down by the cold of a winter night, with the PSP still clutched in his stiff MANOS...

It'd be paying the mortgage, rather. But yeah, I'm not sure he'd know much about the mortgage, so that might happen. But he'd easily pay his utility bills.

I thought he said they owned the house in full?

Did he? I don't remember that. But whichever, fatty says a lot of things.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Even after he told her she was worthless?

Even if he did say that about her, yes.

Do you mean that Rocky doesn't view him any differently, or that Chris doesn't view her any differently?

I'd more readily think about the latter, although I'd probably agree to the former too. The latter meaning, Chris still expects her to be his servant no matter how much he tries to shame and belittle her. But the former, well, any words out of Chris's mouth are probably white noise to Rocky by this point, so it's not like she'd perceive much of a change no matter what dramatic declaration he tries to make.

I thought he said they owned the house in full?

Did he? I don't remember that. But whichever, fatty says a lot of things.

Chris also thought a judge would somehow magically "decide" that Chris be awarded the deed to the Game Place.

Think of it this way: Knowing the Chandlers' general cavalier approach toward money... do you think that the house itself is at all secure?

 

[Smokedaddy]

I thought he said they owned the house in full?

Did he? I don't remember that. But whichever, fatty says a lot of things.

I don't think he ever said that. However, I did. Unless the title (and responsibility for paying the mortgage) was strictly in Barb's name, and I don't see how it could have been, mortgage insurance would have kicked in when Bob died and paid off the loan, assuming it wasn't paid off already. In the unlikely event the mortgage was set up in Barb's name only, there'll still be insurance that pays it off when she goes. Escrow won't close unless insurance is in place. I've bought two houses and closing escrow without insurance just isn't an option. The insurance isn't expensive and premiums diminish over time as the principal gets paid off. They make you buy regular homeowner's insurance too, in case a meteor strikes and leaves a smoking hole where the house used to be -- that way if you walk away from the mortgage, they still get their money. Banks want money. They do not want houses, and take steps to ensure they wind up with one and not the other.

Where ownership winds up post-Barb is anybody's guess, if there isn't a will or trust set up it'll be decided by probate. My guess is that Bob arranged things such that ownership will default to Chris after Barb h­ands in her dinner bucket, but that's just speculation.

If 14 BC isn't free and clear already, I will cover my face with leeches and make an apology video on YouTube. But there's no way CWC will ever have to make a mortgage payment on it.

 

[Holdek]

Oh no, Chris hasn't done anything different as far as Rocky herself goes.

Even after he told her she was worthless?

Even if he did say that about her, yes.

She truly does have the patience of a saint.

Chris also thought a judge would somehow magically "decide" that Chris be awarded the deed to the Game Place.

Think of it this way: Knowing the Chandlers' general cavalier approach toward money... do you think that the house itself is at all secure?

I know the Chandlers have lived in the house for 31 years, and Chris said at one point that he would inherit it (although, as Marvin said above, fatty says a lot of things), so maybe I'm mistakenly putting those two together in my mind to assume they own it. And maybe I'm also thinking of what Smokedaddy said.

And Goddamn, did Chris really believe that the judge would give Chris the deed to the Game Place? This must be some of what Marvin was alluding to when he described that Chris truly believed he was going to win the court case for a while and was crushed when he didn't. But still, that's another level of stupid. It almost makes me want to revote in the intelligence poll and put him at "mildly retarded."

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

And Goddamn, did Chris really believe that the judge would give Chris the deed to the Game Place? This must be some of what Marvin was alluding to when he described that Chris truly believed he was going to win the court case for a while and was crushed when he didn't. But still, that's another level of stupid. It almost makes me want to revote in the intelligence poll and put him at "mildly retarded."

Yes, yes he did believe it. Chris is so goddamned ignorant about how the law works, and what's more he will actively refuse to learn. He really believed that his trial was not, you know, his trial, but rather that a trial is just a magic place where any fantastically unconstitutional ruling can be handed out no matter how little it pertains to the case at hand. His greatest knowledge of how trials work probably comes from the series finale of Seinfeld. What's more, Chris believes in his heart of hearts that he is always innocent and righteous, so of course the court would see that and somehow serve a sentence onto someone who was both a witness and a victim but never a defendant.

 

[Marvin]

Even after he told her she was worthless?

Even if he did say that about her, yes.

Do you mean that Rocky doesn't view him any differently, or that Chris doesn't view her any differently?

I'd more readily think about the latter, although I'd probably agree to the former too. The latter meaning, Chris still expects her to be his servant no matter how much he tries to shame and belittle her. But the former, well, any words out of Chris's mouth are probably white noise to Rocky by this point, so it's not like she'd perceive much of a change no matter what dramatic declaration he tries to make.

Chris definitely doesn't see her any differently. And yeah, she probably doesn't see him any differently either. She probably thinks "oh, little Chrissy is going through tough times, it's not his fault" or some similar bullshit.

I thought he said they owned the house in full?

Did he? I don't remember that. But whichever, fatty says a lot of things.

I don't think he ever said that. However, I did. Unless the title (and responsibility for paying the mortgage) was strictly in Barb's name, and I don't see how it could have been, mortgage insurance would have kicked in when Bob died and paid off the loan, assuming it wasn't paid off already. In the unlikely event the mortgage was set up in Barb's name only, there'll still be insurance that pays it off when she goes. Escrow won't close unless insurance is in place. I've bought two houses and closing escrow without insurance just isn't an option. The insurance isn't expensive and premiums diminish over time as the principal gets paid off. They make you buy regular homeowner's insurance too, in case a meteor strikes and leaves a smoking hole where the house used to be -- that way if you walk away from the mortgage, they still get their money. Banks want money. They do not want houses, and take steps to ensure they wind up with one and not the other.

Where ownership winds up post-Barb is anybody's guess, if there isn't a will or trust set up it'll be decided by probate. My guess is that Bob arranged things such that ownership will default to Chris after Barb h­ands in her dinner bucket, but that's just speculation.

If 14 BC isn't free and clear already, I will cover my face with leeches and make an apology video on YouTube. But there's no way CWC will ever have to make a mortgage payment on it.

Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, there's contradictory information I'm getting, so I'll need to look into this.

 

[snowkitten91]

And Goddamn, did Chris really believe that the judge would give Chris the deed to the Game Place? This must be some of what Marvin was alluding to when he described that Chris truly believed he was going to win the court case for a while and was crushed when he didn't. But still, that's another level of stupid. It almost makes me want to revote in the intelligence poll and put him at "mildly retarded."

Yes, yes he did believe it. Chris is so goddamned ignorant about how the law works, and what's more he will actively refuse to learn. He really believed that his trial was not, you know, his trial, but rather that a trial is just a magic place where any fantastically unconstitutional ruling can be handed out no matter how little it pertains to the case at hand. His greatest knowledge of how trials work probably comes from the series finale of Seinfeld. What's more, Chris believes in his heart of hearts that he is always innocent and righteous, so of course the court would see that and somehow serve a sentence onto someone who was both a witness and a victim but never a defendant.

Reality > Chris