- Joined
- Apr 5, 2015
I agree, my friend.Honestly its funny how my half ironic shit posts sperged many people out. Although I do wish more people would openly admit on how shit dating is and how unfair it is to men who are not conventionally good looking.
Life in my teens and until I married was practically unbearable. I was constantly approached by guys who were nothing but black holes of self esteem, who believed that because they were getting some middling degree in some science bullshit and could maybe scrape up 100 grand a year tops when they graduated, that they were somehow entitled to date the beauty queen law student.
I always tried to be polite and discreet and refuse these offers of sexual intimacy gently, but they just didn’t seem to get the message. Even worse were the old dudes - the people so old they had actually left university - who tried to impress me with their ‘maturity’ and entry level incomes. They never seemed to get that basically offering to spend money on me in return for sexual intimacy was outright calling me a whore. I was not a whore and my “prime young virgin pussy” was not for sale. I can buy my own shoes. Also, I wanted to build a future and a family with a partner. No way was I doing that with some old fuck who would be expecting me to wipe his incontinent ass and feed him slops when I expected to be enjoying my early retirement years.
What was important to me was finding someone who shared my values and goals for the future. Those goals were to successfully start a family and give them the best start in life, and then as they got older and needed me less, to explore my own talents further and maximise my academic career. I wanted a person who shared the values I wanted to impart to my children, particularly a shared religion and a strong focus on educational attainment. I wanted this to be someone of my own age so that we would reasonably expect to share the stages of life together. This was what was actually important to me, as a person in her late teens/early twenties actively screening for a life partner. I was completely unwilling to waste any time dating anyone who didn’t fit what I was looking for.
I found him. Reader, I married him. He is ugly. Like, famously so. This wasn’t important to me because his values aligned with mine. I got what I was looking for. Women are not husband-shopping for an income bracket and a height minimum. They are looking for the guy who will organise their mother’s funeral when they are too upset. The guy who will sit holding their hand silently whilst they miscarry. The guy who will prioritise reading the kids’ bedtime story every night over going to the bar after work. The guy who will say in response to a problem, “Don’t worry, I will handle it” and then go and actually handle it without making a five act drama out of it.
I couldn‘t seem to get those people I was gently brushing off to understand that the thing that scared off other girls who might otherwise have dated them was the sucking void of utter need they projected. No woman, young or old, wants to spend her life pouring her own emotional resilience into a man who constantly, unendingly, insatiably needs reassurance that he isn’t ugly and unloveable and she won’t run off and leave him because she’s a hypergamous whore. It is fucking exhausting. It is not a life. It’s being a handmaiden to an emotional vampire. This is why people tell you to get into therapy. Until you are able to feel more normal about yourself and stop projecting your sarlacc pit of emotional needs to any girl who passes by, no one is going to want to take that on. You can’t raise a family with a guy who needs to suck the soul out of you daily. He needs some resilience. Anyone who becomes a husband and father has many life events where he needs to suck it the ruck up, shut the fuck up, and be the one providing the emotional support. You project the exact fucking opposite and that, not any shit about looksmaxing, is what drives women away from you screaming.
That’s what you need to go to therapy and work on. Christ, you‘re twenty four, you could have your shit absolutely figured out by your mid to late twenties. How awesome that would be.