Disney General - The saddest fandom on Earth

[8777BB5]

Hey, anyone remember when Disney announced an Artemis Fowl movie?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sN3NySuLK3g

As a huge fan of Artemis Fowl I can safely say I am not at all surprised this looks awful nor am I surprised at the "talent" it got (Josh Gad is in this. Yes really). I think it's telling we only see one fairy in the preview trailer and that one looks so much like a regular person it's kind of underwhelming. There's also the fact this thing has an August release date and the fact that despite being heavily Irish the cast is a mixture of British and American actors (I was really shocked to see they didn't get Liam Neeson to play Trouble Kelp)

Also (and this is somewhat fftopic::autism I don't think the Artemis Fowl series has aged as well as the Harry Potter series or A Series of Unfortunate Events. The main problem is that out of the eight books, only The Arctic Incident and The Opal Deception still hold up today. The other six books don't hold up as well because they're either still stuck in the early 2000s (Artemis Fowl, The Eternity Code) or were the byproduct of Colfer running out of ideas and ripping off movies (The Lost Colony and every book after). The only reason this got made is Disney wants some of that sweet Harry Potter money and they figured they could do it with Fowl, which i have a feeling is going to backfire on them horribly.

 

[Xerxes IX]

The only reason this got made is Disney wants some of that sweet Harry Potter money and they figured they could do it with Fowl, which i have a feeling is going to backfire on them horribly.

Even series that are more relevant and popular can get fucked up. Fox tried to make Percy Jackson the new Harry Potter and completely fucked the film series over from the very beginning.

 

[Zaryiu]

There were three films that not only reused animation within them, but also between them: The Jungle Book, Sword in the Stone, and Robin Hood. Which is another reason they are called the Dark Ages. The studio as a whole was on the verge of bankruptcy for a long while.

They might be the dark age but I still like them

I'm very concerned about past you.

There is one thing it has over the original...View attachment 589546
...Less Bob, more bobs and vagene.

I liked the story despite it's flaws

Why the fuck is the next Spider-Man movie a second homecoming? I get it that Peter Parker's a high school student, but holy shit, stop reminding us.

I hought the name was "Far from Home?"

Oh ans a scene that hits me in the feels everytime

 

[UnKillFill]

Corey Burton is no Vincent Price, but as a kid I had a cassette tape of the great mouse detective where at the end, he sang this alternate version of the world's greatest disney villain theme:

Jesus Christ, those lyrics are so much better. He goes into detail about throwing widows and orphans off of a bridge and taking potshots at them until they "sank" (i.e. drowned) I wish I could hear Price sing those lyrics.

 

[Nekromantik]

Corey Burton is no Vincent Price, but as a kid I had a cassette tape of the great mouse detective where at the end, he sang this alternate version of the world's greatest disney villain theme:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=f3uoQB7wfGA
Jesus Christ, those lyrics are so much better. He goes into detail about throwing widows and orphans off of a bridge and taking potshots at them until they "sank" (i.e. drowned) I wish I could hear Price sing those lyrics.

I remember reading somewhere that the Great Mose Detective was one of VIncent's favorite roles. I'd say it's a shame it's over looked, but given the way the internet is, I take that as a good thing.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

I remember reading somewhere that the Great Mose Detective was one of VIncent's favorite roles

Vincent admitted that he loved the role because it meant that children would hear his voice and be curious about his other work. Plus he had a lot of fun voicing the character anyway.

Rattigan is such a fun villain, and it's entirely because of Vincent Price's performance.

I'd say it's a shame it's over looked, but given the way the internet is, I take that as a good thing.

I remember years ago TV Tropes basically said no one remembered the movie besides that one scene with Ms. Kitty in the bar, which I thought was stupid because it blatantly disregarded the rest of the movie, including Rattigan. I don't think that one is there anymore, but they keep harping on Ms Kitty, and frankly I think it's annoying because it's not a scene that I remember unless someone reminds me of it. Of course, the degenerates on TV Tropes think otherwise.

 

[Nekromantik]

Vincent admitted that he loved the role because it meant that children would hear his voice and be curious about his other work. Plus he had a lot of fun voicing the character anyway.

He wasn't wrong. I became a fan of his because of roles like Rattigan and the doctor in Edward Scissor Hands.

This does bring up the good point that Disney has always had great villains. I remember seeing in one of the behind the scenes shows how animators loved working on the villains the most.

 

[RodgerDodger]

I love this guy's videos! Here's one on the stupid ride California Adventure once had.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Q2L-bZiqckM

He just putout a book that he crowdfunded via indiegogo. It’s amusing. Although his videos are much better and more informative.

 

[The Nothingness]

How "woke" do you think the live action remake of The Little Mermaid will be if that ever gets made? Will Ursula become a symphatic character while King Triton becomes the villain?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

How "woke" do you think the live action remake of The Little Mermaid will be if that ever gets made? Will Ursula become a symphatic character while King Triton becomes the villain?

I have a feeling if they do remake it they would do that but it will be very minor as I feel the major change will go to Ariel really.

 

[friedshrimp]

^Basically. Ariel is the bane of every feminist out there, even more than the old passive princesses like Snow White or Cinderella (conservative religious folks who love the old princesses dislike Ariel a lot, too, for being too active and "dealing with the devil").

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I think it's hilarious Ariel's hated on by a lot of people because she's basically acting her age, and I'm sure a lot of feminists were just like her at 16 and they don't like being reminded of their daddy issues.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I think it's hilarious Ariel's hated on by a lot of people because she's basically acting her age, and I'm sure a lot of feminists were just like her at 16 and they don't like being reminded of their daddy issues.

Ariel is not that bad of a princess. She acts just how a 16 year-old would act. She goes behind her dad’s back to get legs and develops a crush on a human (mermaid equivalent of crushing on a “bad boy”).

Spoiler: Powerlevel

I really like Ariel and she was my favorite princess growing up so whenever some people diss it, I feel the need to defend it. I don’t know about you, but some of the new princesses like Elsa are so boring to me

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Spoiler: Powerlevel

I really like Ariel and she was my favorite princess growing up so whenever some people diss it, I feel the need to defend it. I don’t know about you, but some of the new princesses like Elsa are so boring to me

I agree, I get defensive about Ariel as well. I think it's ridiculous how much fictional Disney characters get scrutinized under a microscope because of some bitch's insecurities. Like I believe there were a few attacks toward Merida as well when Brave came out even though she's not a bad character, she was just in a mediocre film.

I get feeling that way, though I think Moana is one of the better modern princesses. The movie could've had more going for it, sure, and if you squint you can tell that her becoming the protagonist and not Maui was kind of last-minute. But I think she's unique in that although her ambitions are similar to past princesses, she's from a different environment that hasn't been seen in Disney, and she works really well with that environment. I honestly don't see someone like Rapunzel, Pocahontas, or even Mulan doing too well in her place, let alone have the same experiences. But then again, I view the story and journey present in Moana in a much different light than most other people, one that I've explained before, and that's why I find it to be a unique film in the Disney canon.

Vanellope is a different take on the Disney princess that I can get behind, but unfortunately the sequel fucked that up by somehow forgetting that aspect of her character just so she could count as a status quo Disney princess (when she's really not).

 

[Judge Holden]

Hey, anyone remember when Disney announced an Artemis Fowl movie?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sN3NySuLK3g

As somebody who read most the books when I was a kid and thus have a decent level of knowledge (but not any real nostalgia because the series was pretty meh at the best of times) I will now share with you my live reaction to this trailer as I watch it now for the first time

0:15-0:35 - Oh god that narrator voice who the actual fuck is this talking? and this music is emo and gay (also while this is preachy cringe the books were also preachy cringe so not gonna comment on that unless it gets worse)
0:45 - 1:00 - Ok i think i can already guess the narrator voice is that junkie fairy at the beginning of book 1 so it probably will only show up for 1 scene. Also harry potter cinematography perfectly captures the mediocrity of this whole thing
1:10 - 1:18 - yay my guess was correct....but hold the phone isnt she supposed to be green and scaly? also why is she a hot asian now and HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK?! IS THIS FUCKING BUTLER?!

Spoiler: "giant pale russian bodyguard"

1:20 - 1:35 - alright this looks really fucking boring and generic as shit....so good job disney this actually halfway captures the books.

In conclusion, looks to be a complete snore fest at worst, but if we are lucky it could be hilariously meme-ably bad. From what little was shown it will probably be a mix job of the first two books

 

[8777BB5]

As somebody who read most the books when I was a kid and thus have a decent level of knowledge (but not any real nostalgia because the series was pretty meh at the best of times) I will now share with you my live reaction to this trailer as I watch it now for the first time

0:15-0:35 - Oh god that narrator voice who the actual fuck is this talking? and this music is emo and gay (also while this is preachy cringe the books were also preachy cringe so not gonna comment on that unless it gets worse)
0:45 - 1:00 - Ok i think i can already guess the narrator voice is that junkie fairy at the beginning of book 1 so it probably will only show up for 1 scene. Also harry potter cinematography perfectly captures the mediocrity of this whole thing
1:10 - 1:18 - yay my guess was correct....but hold the phone isnt she supposed to be green and scaly? also why is she a hot asian now and HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK?! IS THIS FUCKING BUTLER?!

Spoiler: "giant pale russian bodyguard"

1:20 - 1:35 - alright this looks really fucking boring and generic as shit....so good job disney this actually halfway captures the books.

In conclusion, looks to be a complete snore fest at worst, but if we are lucky it could be hilariously meme-ably bad. From what little was shown it will probably be a mix job of the first two books

Want to know what's even worse? They've got Dame Judi Dench playing Julius Root. I'm not even joking about that

 

[StarkRavingMad]

I think it's hilarious Ariel's hated on by a lot of people because she's basically acting her age, and I'm sure a lot of feminists were just like her at 16 and they don't like being reminded of their daddy issues.

This is part of the reason why Ariel is my favorite Disney princess, tbh. I totally believe that she's 16 years old. She feels like a real character to me, you know?

Ariel has become everyone's go-to when it comes to shitting on the Disney Princesses these days, it seems. It's probably because she has actual character flaws (but flaws that aren't so bad that they make me dislike her). And, damn it, she's just adorable when she's in her human form. I love how expressive the animators made her when she didn't have her voice.

When I loved The Little Mermaid as a kid, I wasn't like "Hey mom, I can't wait to run away from home to marry someone when I'm 16!" I was more like, "I bet being a mermaid is awesome!" A lot of the things people say about Disney Princesses is just ... Ridiculous. People feel they're acting like adults when they trash on these movies, but honestly? They're just wasting their energy reading so goddamn much into fairytales.

 

[JambledUpWords]

This is part of the reason why Ariel is my favorite Disney princess, tbh. I totally believe that she's 16 years old. She feels like a real character to me, you know?

Ariel has become everyone's go-to when it comes to shitting on the Disney Princesses these days, it seems. It's probably because she has actual character flaws (but flaws that aren't so bad that they make me dislike her). And, damn it, she's just adorable when she's in her human form. I love how expressive the animators made her when she didn't have her voice.

When I loved The Little Mermaid as a kid, I wasn't like "Hey mom, I can't wait to run away from home to marry someone when I'm 16!" I was more like, "I bet being a mermaid is awesome!" A lot of the things people say about Disney Princesses is just ... Ridiculous. People feel they're acting like adults when they trash on these movies, but honestly? They're just wasting their energy reading so goddamn much into fairytales.

If Disney were to make an animated telling of a classic fairytale that would make people lose their minds, moreso than The Little Mermaid, it would be Donkeyskin.

Donkeyskin is a Grimm’s fairytale that’s about a princess who ends up marrying her dad (the king) because his wife’s dying wish was that in order to remarry, he had to marry someone as beautiful as her (in the story, the only person that fits the description is the daughter)

 

[StarkRavingMad]

If Disney were to make an animated telling of a classic fairytale that would make people lose their minds, moreso than The Little Mermaid, it would be Donkeyskin.

Donkeyskin is a Grimm’s fairytale that’s about a princess who ends up marrying her dad (the king) because his wife’s dying wish was that in order to remarry, he had to marry someone as beautiful as her (in the story, the only person that fits the description is the daughter)

That's horrifying and hilarious.

IF Disney remade this, of course they'd update the story so that it wasn't so incestuous ... But people would still lose their minds.

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

If Disney were to make an animated telling of a classic fairytale that would make people lose their minds, moreso than The Little Mermaid, it would be Donkeyskin.

Donkeyskin is a Grimm’s fairytale that’s about a princess who ends up marrying her dad (the king) because his wife’s dying wish was that in order to remarry, he had to marry someone as beautiful as her (in the story, the only person that fits the description is the daughter)

There have already been several film versions of the story made in Europe, some under the "Donkeyskin" title, and others under the Grimms' title, "All Kinds of Fur."

No Disney version, though.