The probably most autistic way of getting rid of an old storage medium I could think of would be subjecting it to high energy frequencies/microwave radiation. A wave frequency of about 300GHz would already be sufficient to irreparably damage the surface of the drive, which can be achieved by a household microwave oven. You probably would not want to simply put it in a microwave due to the heat build-up inside of it which would likely result in a fire. Therefore you would want to take the main components of the microwave oven (e.g. the magnetron, the capacitator, the HV transformer) out and basically build what is commonly known as a HERF-Cannon. Now you just want to orient it in a safe direction (no flammeable material), put your medium in front of it, take cover ant activate it.
Given the extreme danger of this process, with a high probability of electrocution and the far easier solution of just smashing your storage medium, only a complete retard would do something like this.