Do you even use a bidet (or similar)? - (Poll included)

Do you clean yourself down there with water?

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Named User said:
Testimonial: I have a bidet in my home.

After I finish pooping, I “push out” to allow the bidet’s water squirter to shoot directly inside my butthole.

You can imagine using mouthwash to rinse out the mouth. In the same way, I “gargle” my bowels, rinsing out the anal canal, and “spit” the leftover poop remains out from the hole.
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And then what happens? Don't leave me hanging!
 
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heh casuals

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The Connected Nose said:
Pretty sure they retract under the seat when not in use, thus keeping them out of the line of fire.
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No, but what I am saying is that even if they retract, the fact that it is hosing down your hole with water, all that shit is gonna drip back onto the device. So the next time you go poop, you are getting your ass blasted with a mixture of yesterpoop's shit and water.
 
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Sneed S. McSneedensen said:
No, but what I am saying is that even if they retract, the fact that it is hosing down your hole with water, all that shit is gonna drip back onto the device. So the next time you go poop, you are getting your ass blasted with a mixture of yesterpoop's shit and water.
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Not… even a little bit. Much like the gentleman’s game of billiards, it’s all about the angles. Positive pressure + side mounting = no poo water. Don’t knock it till you try it, TP is just smearing it around. (Your butthole smells like shit lol)
 
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Tomato flowers said:
Not… even a little bit. Much like the gentleman’s game of billiards, it’s all about the angles. Positive pressure + side mounting = no poo water. Don’t knock it till you try it, TP is just smearing it around. (Your butthole smells like shit lol)
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Even months later, I still always plan my shits and wet multiple wipes of toilet paper before heading in.

Enjoy the previous person's corn and shit. :)
 
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I have a bidet shower attachment next to the toilet. It’s the best thing I ever bought and I feel fully clean 24/7.

I blast my hole clean, then wash and rinse with soap and water.

It’s great for female hygiene as well, for periods and daily discharge. I don’t use soap for that, only water is needed as it’s just a refresh between showers.

I love my bidet so much I bought a travel version for when I’m away.
 
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"No I just use toilet paper" and "No I don't even wipe" are effectively the same thing. People's reluctance to use bidets is frankly disgusting - anyone who doesn't use one just patently isn't in a position to make Indian poo jokes.
 
pentangle said:
"No I just use toilet paper" and "No I don't even wipe" are effectively the same thing. People's reluctance to use bidets is frankly disgusting - anyone who doesn't use one just patently isn't in a position to make Indian poo jokes.
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Why are you trying to lecture me on hygiene when you get your asshole blasted with tap water and another person's shit?
 
Sneed S. McSneedensen said:
Why are you trying to lecture me on hygiene when you get your asshole blasted with tap water and another person's shit?
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Why would someone's shit be *on* a bidet? How exactly do you think they work? Also you realize showering involves using water to clean yourself, right? Like surely you wouldn't think just rubbing yourself with dry tissues could replace bathing would you?
 
pentangle said:
Why would someone's shit be *on* a bidet? How exactly do you think they work? Also you realize showering involves using water to clean yourself, right? Like surely you wouldn't think just rubbing yourself with dry tissues could replace bathing would you?
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Do you know how gravity operates? Did you attend elementary school?
 
I crap for a while in the morning as part of my daily routine, then heavily clean out the undercarriage afterwards with a removable shower head as part of my morning shower
bidets seem a rather half-assed approach, no pun intended
 
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I've always thought that a combo toilet and bidet should be called a John Bidet Ramsey. You know, in her honor so we never forget.
 
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