- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
He's still a white cis male and without a single physical disability. Problematic!
Dr. Who
- Thread starter Null
- Start date
-
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
The Valeyard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2017
Why not Richard Ayoade? Or is he still hosting The Crystal Maze for Channel 4?
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2017
I would actually really like to see him as the Doctor.
ASSUMING they let him be a new character and not just play "Moss in the TARDIS." Don't get me wrong, I adore the IT Crowd, but the guy can do more. I'd love to see him bring some of that game show energy of "Why am I wasting my time here" for the Doctor.
starborn427614
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2020
He's also my pick, if just for the fact we'd get a Doctor with some actual fucking wit. I don't know who decided to make 13 a preacher about the random moral of the day but her cutting remarks don't land at all. There's also a complete lack of intensity that Richard would absolutely bring to the role.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2017
Ayoade isn't inclusive enough. With that said, if he was the next Doctor, I would actually consider caring about the show again, so long as they fired Chinballs.
starborn427614
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2020
I expected him to stay on for 14. Each showrunner stays for like 2 incarnations at least since the revival.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2014
Media predictions of the next Doctor are another thing I treat with a massive mountain of salt. They're almost never right. Last time round they were saying Kris Marshall was a dead cert and I mentioned upthread that Rodrick from "Bad Wolf/The Parting of the Ways" was the bookies' favourite for the Eleventh Doctor. Obviously neither came to pass.
Sadly Ayoade's a bit too obvious. I'd like him to be the next Doctor, but I don't see it happening. Anyway, as @UnKillShredDur said, it doesn't matter who the next Doctor is. Unless they fire Chinballs and replace him with someone competent (which is a big ask at the moment), things aren't going to improve.
Also, I've finished watching Timelash.
I already said this is a story I haven't seen before, but it's got a hideous reputation in the fandom. I also saw this on the Wikipedia page during my pre-watch research which turned my blood cold:
If JNT thought this was a stinker, I'm in for a treat.
Fun fact: if you rearrange the letters in the word Timelash, it spells Lameshit.
Right, enough stalling, let's get on with this.
We’re off to a roaring start with Peri whining about how she never gets to choose where the TARDIS lands (neither does the Doctor most of the time). The Doctor responds “Where would the first lady suggest?”, but Colin Baker flubs “suggest” and says “sudressed” instead. I’m assuming the flub was a result of his surprise that Nicola Bryant’s wearing actual clothes this story.
Don’t go back to the Eye of Orion, it’ll kick off The Six Doctors¸ which will actually be The Four Doctors because Tom Baker’s still got cold feet and Richard Hurndall’s now snuffed it.
Even by mid-80s BBC TV model shot standards this is shocking. My younger brother made more impressive vistas with some papier mache in his nursery art class:
Why does almost every classic Who story I watch feature space hobos?:
The villain in this story is called the Borad. The first time I learned this was in 2006, so guess what the first thing that popped into my head was?:
Jagshemash!
The police on this world are beekeepers? Oy:
The Doctor: “That is a contron tunnel.”:
No, it’s a windows screensaver.
Peri: “Didn’t the Daleks have one of those?”
How do you know? You don’t meet the Daleks until the next story and they don’t use a time corridor there. I’m sure there’s a Big Finish story filling that gap in somewhere, but I have a sneaking suspicion this story may have originally been written with Tegan and/or Turlough in mind.
Peri asks the Doctor whether a piece of technobabble he spewed at her has negative implications, and he proceeds to scream at her like she’s an idiot. Peri’s not been a saint herself so far, but the Doctor’s shot past her in the raving douchebag stakes. Your regularly scheduled reminder of what a disservice the BBC did to Colin Baker.
I hadn’t appreciated how stupid the guards looked in the long shot. Looks like this guy’s being attacked by a group of mushrooms:
And now a blueberry version of Trump has appeared. The costume design in this story’s downright surreal:
Why did you have to kill off a perfectly good piece of eye candy so early on?:
Maylin: “The people of Karfel condemn Gazak and Tyheer to the Timelash.”
"What?! No, not the Time-LASH!"
Blueberry Trump speaks like he’s huffed an entire canister of helium. Considering he’s built like a brick shithouse, I assume he was supposed to be intimidating but whoever made this boneheaded sound design choice clearly wasn’t fired because the exact same thing happened with the Kandyman a few years later.
The Borad just aged the Maylin to a skeleton. This should’ve been horrific, but the way the skeleton flops to the ground makes it look comical.
Vena: “This is madness!”
Tekker: “Madness? This. Is. KARFEL!!!”
*kicks Mykros into the Timelash*
Actually Blueberry Trump ends up knocking Vena through the Timelash by accident. My version was better.
The Doctor’s realised he’s just caused someone to get lost along a time tunnel, and his reaction is: “Oh well, nothing to do.” People complain about the Fifth Doctor being a wet blanket, but there has to be a happy medium between that and the biggest douche in the universe.
The Doctor and Peri are now talking like they’ve been huffing helium too. Was there an excess supply that needed using up or something?
The guest acting in this episode so far has been abysmal. Paul Darrow (better known as Avon from Blake’s 7) is the only bright spark. He’s the only one who seems to be having any fun.
Peri falls foul of another creep who’s got the hots for her. First Sharaz Jek, then Shockeye, now Richard III. It won’t be the last time either. She’s still got Jobel to reckon with.
What the fuck is this? Looks like a cobra had sex with Thanos:
Peri: “It’s all so matte and lifeless.”
The shitty set design’s being built in diagetically again.
X gon’ give it ya, he gon’ give it to yaX gon’ give it ya, he gon’ give it to ya
:
Brunner: “There’s nothing that way but rebels, dank tunnels and the morlox. Pity really. She was an attractive young woman.”
Another creep with the hots for Peri? That’s two in one episode. Still, I’m sure that record won’t be beaten any time soon -
Blueberry Trump: “Yes indeed she was.”
Oh for fuck’s sake! You’re an android!
Eat your heart out Jim Henson:
Poor old HG Wells must be spinning in his grave at his portrayal in this episode. Not only does he look and sound off (Wells spoke with a voice that sounded like a mixture of Enoch Powell and Professor Flitwick rather than BBC English as suggested here), he comes across as a limp wristed permavirgin getting constantly BTFO’d by the Doctor. I know Doctor Who isn’t known for its strikingly accurate portrayal of historical figures, but at least when William Shakespeare showed up he didn’t get turned into Wesley Crusher.
Herbert: “It’s fantastical. A machine that transcends time itself...”
Yes, almost like a Time Machine. I wonder what that’s going to end up inspiring... Come to think of it, I wonder what the Morlox will end up inspiring... And there are two planets at war, almost like a War... of the Worlds. I know episodes with literary figures are usually pretty heavy handed with their references, but at least with William Shakespeare and Agatha Christie the Doctor met them when they’d already written some stuff, so it was kind of justified.
It’s shameless fanservice, but I do like the idea that this is a follow up to a Third Doctor adventure we never saw. It’s a plot device I think should show up more often.
The Doctor: “You gave me your word you microcephalic apostate!”
Another one for my list of insults.
Tinsel? Really? I know Classic Who is cheap and cheerful, but using tinsel for set design is pushing it:
They’re struggling to pull the Doctor out of the Timelash because of his weight on the rope, and Herbert has decided to go in after him, depriving them of a person to help pull the Doctor out and adding to the weight on the rope. Idiot.
A second person’s now done the same thing as Herbert. This planet deserves to get nuked.
The Doctor having a mini time loop machine and this being foreshadowed in Part One is quite clever. It’s a bit like Tenet before Tenet was a thing.
This might be the stupidest looking set up for a heavy gun I’ve ever seen:
Convenient that they blew open the exact wall that had a picture of the Third Doctor behind it.
Herbert: “You’ve changed a bit.”
Doctor: “Immeasurably for the better it seems.”
Oh TV Sixth Doctor, how little you have the right to make that statement.
I’d complain about Peri being a damsel in distress this entire story, but it’s actually quite refreshing to have her out of the way.
Considering how cheap the rest of this story is, the makeup on the Borad is surprisingly good. It's probably what most of the budget went on.
The Borad has the hots for Peri too? That’s four creeps in one story, the official record.
The Doctor being an utter prick towards Peri again. He’s complaining he’s losing time to stop the missile, but he’s wasted most of it arguing with Peri.
Herbert: “Oh but she’s a girl. This is work for men.”
Fuck you, you beta male bitch.
Herbert: “When I was at school, everyone used to think I was a coward because I didn’t like cricket. If only they could see me now.”
Doctor: “Shut. UP!!!”
I take back what I said about the Doctor earlier. I like him a lot better all of a sudden.
This episode ran short, and it’s painfully obvious. The Borad was killed with fifteen minutes of the story still to go and the climax is torturously drawn out as the Doctor fights to stop the slowest moving missile in history in the most unimaginative way possible.
Oh come on, the Borad had a clone which has conveniently popped up at the last minute? Can this story just end already? There’s more padding in this story than Nicola Bryant’s top in Attack of the Cybermen, only not nearly as interesting.
Peri: “Don’t I have a say in all this?”
Doctor: “Of course not, be quiet.”
And any goodwill I had towards the Doctor evaporates again.
So the Borad is the Loch Ness Monster? I thought the Skarasen from Terror of the Zygons was. Ah screw it, there’s like three versions of Atlantis on this show.
Peri: “Why weren’t you blown up?”
Doctor: “I’ll explain one day. It’s a neat trick.”
Not that I want this episode to drag on any longer, but that’s lazy as hell.
Doctor: “I think he’ll return to Earth don’t you? After all, he does have an interesting story to tell.”
On the basis of what I just watched, that’s nothing short of a miracle.
That was certainly bad, but nowhere near as wretched as I'd feared it would be. There's quite a few stories I'd choose this over and I'd choose it over most of the rubbish that airs today. Although I took the piss out of the puppets for the Bandrils and the Morlox, it is quite refreshing to have aliens which aren't just a man in a suit or painted a weird colour and while the set design's cheap, it's not much worse than other Classic Who stories. This story has two major problems: the first is that it has too much plot, which makes the fact it runs short even more astounding. The war with the Bandrils, the Doctor meeting HG Wells and the rebellion against the Borad all feel like they could be a story unto themselves rather than being crammed awkwardly together like this. The second problem is that the Doctor is a total cunt this story. I may find TV Peri irritating, but the way the Doctor treats her this time round made me think her ending up with the Borad might not be such a raw deal after all. If you want an edgier Doctor, fine, but don't turn him into someone who could pass as the villain every week.
Next up, to celebrate the release of the Season 24 Blu-Ray, I'll review another story with an infamous reputation I've never seen before: Time and the Rani.
Idiot Asshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2021
From what I remember the guy who played the Borad was actually pretty good, apparently he even replaced a shitty line from the script with his own ad lib ("another expedition into the realms of duplicity"). Dude was determined to put his all into what ended up being a pretty bad story. Funny as well that pretty much everything about him is far better than the rest of the story - the acting, his makeup, hell even the lighting and direction in his lair are better than anywhere else. It's like they filmed all his scenes first and then gave up immediately afterwards. Especially Paul Darrow. Dude was probably trying to repay Colin back after the latter outhammed him on Blake's 7 a couple of years prior. I appreciate your commentaries, keep them going. And good luck trying to get through Time and the Rani!
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2014
In happier news, The Evil of the Daleks is the next story getting the animation treatment:
Looks pretty kino from that short clip.
Looks pretty kino from that short clip.
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2017
I mean Peri is pretty hot and has some good sized funbags to boot.
Awwww yeah!
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
The trouble is that is exactly what you would get and that's why he mostly skews towards hosting and directing. I think he maintains that his popular acting roles aren't as much "acting" as him just playing up his natural sperginess and that he would be unlikely to accept a role like this.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2021
Nicola looks even better now.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2017
A female incarnation of the Monk doesn't bother me nearly as much as calling her "the Nun" does. His name isn't even really "the Monk" he's just a dude who keeps dressing like one for whatever reason.
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2019
I know his given name is Mortimus ( got all the Virgin NAs ) It's still pointless bullshit to troon him out when the audience for BF output is maybe half or third of the TV output ( being generous with those estimates , probably ).
starborn427614
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2020
The Monk likes a bit of banter. I always wondered why they didn't bring him back for the revival series since having more Time Lords for the Doctor to play off would've been great.
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2019
Fantastic. Hopefully The Abominable Snowmen and The Wheel in Space are next. I hope they take some creative liberties with the animation and add SNOW to The Abominable Snowmen.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2017
He's already had some pretty good showings in Big Finish, and they've actually treated the character fairly respectfully so far, especially considering how old he is.
(This is technically a separate point, but I think they're connected.)
I hate to be as cynical as I am, but while the "wokeness" of current day Doctor Who doesn't really seem to have polluted Big Finish to the extent it has in the show proper, I do find myself wondering how much of that is their contractual inability to pull from "NuWho" up to a certain point, which seems to be on a sliding scale. I don't actually know how long that is, but I could see them making a "Doctor Ruth" series at some point when they get the rights... and if they do that, I will probably abandon Big Finish like I've abandoned the show.
A final side note- I finally got Jago and Litefoot Series 14 tonight, but it's fucking long (they turned it into a 4 part audio book like I said). It looks like more than 10 hours long in total. I might say what I thought about it in a few days when I've listened to the whole thing.
The Valeyard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2017
I'm hoping that we'll at least get some good Twelfth Doctor stories from them before then as Peter Capaldi was let down by the scripts he had to work with in the show proper.